Love's Demise

For all those couples out there who tried so hard to hold on… for when you both know you just can’t make it work…

Sunlit darkness descended…

Casting shadows o’er hearts upended.

She smiled at him through her tears,

Turned and stumbled into the years.

He squared his shoulders and walked away…

In the end, they just couldn’t stay.

The eyes of heartache

Tell a story of heartbreak.

Falling tears, hot like blood…

Trailing down like a blood rain flood…

As hope is lost, with heaving sighs…

Two hearts convulsed in Love’s demise.

Reviews

[.]

' the eyes of heartache/tell a story of heartbreak'...this line is apt to describe the pain that those two people are carrying.its never an easy decision for parting ways....all those emotions come inbetween ....but sometimes it was inevitable.And the two agreed to walk that lonely path ,with tears in their eyes on love' s demise!
Poignant write

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you. Yes, it is a hard thing when you've done nothing wrong, per se, but still just cannot make love last.

[LostSage]

hearts upended, smile through tears. beautiful stuff. keep writing I will keep reading.

[MomzillaNC]

Thanks so much.

[Chris Shaw]

Sadly there aren't always happy everafters. There comes a point when however hard you try you have to accept that the solution is a parting of ways. It is a painful realisation. This is a poignant poem which tracks the demise of love. Conveyed with deep emotion.

Chris

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you.

[Chris Shaw]

You are welcome.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

That is a heart wrenching poem. anyone who's had a broken heart can relate to your words

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you for reading.

Yes, it is heart wrenching when there is no betrayal or animosity, but you just cannot make a relationship thrive. That, I think, is the hardest kind of relationship to break from. Maybe it's so difficult because it's harder to make that choice when there're no clear reasons why a relationship couldn't hold together.

[therisa]

Like two ships
In the night
Never to reach port
At the same time
We part.

Having drifted away
Over the years
For no one's fault.

It just happens.

Please forgive me
But I have tried
Everything
To keep you
By my side.

Just wasn't enough
For either
Of us
My love.

Please accept
My fondest apology
As you walk away
Into the night sky.

[MomzillaNC]

That's a really exceptionally beautiful poem. Be sure you post it ASAP!

[therisa]

I will, Momzilla. Have created a new book, called, "The 12 Inch Collection", which I have edit and/or expanded poetic responses, like this.

[MomzillaNC]

This one, I think, may be your very best.

[therisa]

Thank you, very much.

[MomzillaNC]

yw :D

[therisa]

Ok, have posted it, Momzilla.

[1Disawsum]

a tragic story of love gone wrong... the rhyming makes the story told so much more tragic and fragile. Love's Demise, love this work! Well done, excellent poetry.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you very much.

[Sindu]

As hope is lost, with heaving sighs…
Two hearts convulsed in Love’s demise.

Beautiful ending with such a saddening finality. This is such a rythymic penning.

But, you mentioned 'blood ' twice in lines so close together.. it feels a little out of sorts.
may be try [bloody raine floods or sanguine raine floods] if you want to.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you. But, the first phrase, "hot like blood" sets up the context of "blood rain flood." If I separate the lines, the reader would take the reference for gore. But, thank your for you input.

[Sindu]

Oh alright. Welcome :)

[Deos Fortioribus Adesse]

This is amazing. Very amazing.
I like how each line holds its own in making this a wonderfully written piece.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you very much.

[Lady Glitter]

Beautiful play on words in the 1st and 2nd lines. I also love the last line. Skillful writing throughout.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you.

[NoelHC]

Heartfelt, painful, and full of wisdom. Well written, ma'am.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you so much.