Pregnant For Attention

(Lights up on an intimate classroom).  

TEACHER: And now the teenage pregnancy group will present on teenage pregnancy.

Four boys cross to the front of the classroom).

FIRST BOY: A lot of pregnancies are teenage pregnancies.

SECOND BOY: Why do teenage girls get pregnant?

THIRD BOY: Many teenage girls get pregnant for attention.

FOURTH BOY: And so for nine months, these teenage girls are very happy.

FIRST BOY: Because for nine months, they are the center of attention.

SECOND BOY: But then the baby pops out.

FOURTH BOY: And the teenage girl is no longer happy.

THIRD BOY: She is no longer the center of attention.

SECOND BOY: Now the baby is the center of attention.

FIRST BOY: And that’s post-partum depression.

FOURTH BOY: Any questions?

SECOND BOY: Anybody?

THIRD BOY: Speak now.

FIRST BOY: Any questions?

THIRD BOY: Or forever hold your

FOURTH BOY: Forever hold your

FIRST BOY: Hold your

SECOND BOY: Your

(GIRL, one of the students, rises)

GIRL: Peace! Hold my peace. Hold my joint? Hold my gun? Do I have the right to bear arms? The right to show skin? Or by ‘peace’ do you mean ‘tongue’ hold my tongue? Do I have the right to remain silent?

(Two BOYS drag her by the arms into a doctor’s office)

GIRL (to an unseen doctor): I’m pregnant? That’s great news! Between the two of us, I really want to impress Johnny Troglodyte on the football team. Sure, I’ll have to drop out of school. But it’s worth it for Johnny Troglodyte. I did win a merit-based scholarship to a private university to study social psychology, but hey! That’s not very impressive, is it? For the next nine months, everybody will want to date me. They’ll stare at me in the hallways. They’ll invite me to parties, to dances! Of course, I’ll look a little peculiar in a tight ball gown with a baby in my belly. Maybe I’ll only go to the parties and the dances during the first trimester. During the second trimester, I’ll go to book clubs. And since my body won’t be what it used to be, I’ll just wear lots of makeup. (She begins to apply a ridiculous quantity of rouge to her cheeks, lipstick to her lips). And if people ask how it happened I’ll just tell them I am pregnant for attention. Lots of women are. (Pause) Sure, I can name some! Do dead women count? I am pregnant for attention. And proud of it. (To audience) I am pregnant for attention and when my body swells up and throws up and grows up prematurely, all of your eyes will be fixed on me. Why stand your ground when you can hold your peace? (Calling out into the audience)? Johnny? Johnny Troglodyte? Are you out there? Can you see me? Speak now! Johnny? 

Reviews

[bob, small b. aka invs]

there's something dangerous going on in the country now and i think you've touched on it here. women's rights are being whittled away at by "conservatives" and other oblivious parties. some of the things presidential hopeful rick santorum is saying is simply scary. but what's even scarier is that there's little outcry from the masses. women's rights were fought for over decades and centuries. to let them slip away is beyond sad. then again, if no one's willing to fight for them, maybe people don't think they're that important after all.