Garnet Star

This evening looks like noon but sounds like night, 
with all the cricket sirens. 

The moon’s silver scalp barely breaks the surface of the sky. 
I tell Emma-- my dog-- I’ve worked out time travel. 

Trees lean forward to eavesdrop, especially the old magnolia, 
who wants to bring back his blossoms before next spring. 

There’s another tree, you can guess what kind, and she was called 
a garden. Her fruits and the hearts they fed were red as the Garnet Star, 

as winter’s cardinals the earth gives birth to in June.
I don’t miss Eden, and even if I did, 

clouds are frothing like coffee, choking the moon, 
erasing bursts of cold fire burning slower than still

Reviews

[Pryde Foltz]

Sounds like a truly beautiful evening.

[John F]

so charming is this scene, it's like words submit to your will, they swim and split the wave, and every living thing is slave to your grace and the world knows nothing but your empire! Okay, maybe not that profound but still wonderful. I love lines that create their own rules, I don't miss Eden, being a prime one. To your work my own aspires :)

[Molly Cara]

Thank you so much for your warm words!

[Sami Khalil]

A fantastic piece of poetry...Thank you for sharing...:)

[Clockwork]

There is a whole lot I like about this piece. The personification with the trees is one thing. Its very fluid and natural. I like how that leads into the bit about the magnolia tree. There is also the part about time travel. I really like how that is spoken to Emma. I had to look up what the Garnet Star was, but I'm glad I did. That is some awesome imagery, especial with the part about the cardinals. Although, I get what your concept is with them being of winter but born in spring, I think the phrasing of that line could be tinkered with to make it a little more fluid.

Favorite part: "I don’t miss Eden, and even if I did,"

Also, with the word still in the last line, are you talking about a still for alcohol? That line and the phrasing sort of tripped me up a bit.

Even still, I love this piece for so many reasons.

[Kris]

This is pretty amazing!! I loved the choice of words and the flow - most importantly, the subject. Lovely piece, thanks for sharing it.