My Swan Song

A poem about our lives, and resilience, regaining our power

If you think you’ve seen me, you’re wrong.
You haven’t. Not really....I’ve had years... absolute years,...to cover myself, ....to hide what.. didn’t belong.

I’ve not just thickened my skin... No,.. I’ve thickened my swan song.
You know, that final cry before everything fades to black?
Yeah, I’ve been singing it for years, but now I think that melody has cracked.

The rhythm doesn’t fit, it stumbles, it breaks at times, sounds abrupt and not smooth at all, it has awkward sharp notes, and flats,
It's kinda like a song that never quite starts, but tells of brawling brats.

I’ve learned to hum my pain,.. and hide it behind smiles,
To keep the mask in place that everyone knows,.. the familiar mask... except for one person in this race whose mirror reflects the truth, sees into and through me,...

My Swan song though, it beguiles,
.... it does... Because
each note I sing either in key or not, is a defense,...a brick in the wall,...
But you wouldn’t see that, you wouldn’t see that at all.

The verses in my song? Well of course they tell of battles, mostly ones I’ve lost,
But I’ve twisted them, haven’t I? For others,.. at my detriment, and my cost.
I made my battles sound like triumph, like victory was mine!.....
Though underneath it all, I walked a hidden, fine, and fragile line.

I’ve sung this song through nights that were so, so, so dark, that even the stars closed their eyes
Through tears no one else saw, unseen they were,.. the memories were awful, brutally stark.
And as I kept singing, well guess what, I started to see...
This song, as bad as it was, it wasnt meant for you... It was totally meant for me.

So,... I'm sorry if you think you’ve heard it, because you couldn't possibly have, you’re wrong again.
Because i reshaped it, and retwisted it, those most familiar verses,
And It’s not even over yet, I keep changing the tune, and the words,

And the melody,... it drags on way too long, the words are awful, and disjointed, not like anything you ever heard,
You have nothing to judge it by
But maybe it’s meant to ... maybe, just maybe, it's meant to...
because that WAS my swan song.

but NOT anymore, that song is gone,.. Because looking at it took it's strength, and courage and bravery was it's return
And I could finally see,
That this swansong wasn't meant, not meant at all for me...
So no more, ... No more,.... Will this song take my power
I'll never sing it again, not now or in any hour..
Because now I have a new Swan song and it reeks of truth, and hope and light,
And I'll never give up that song because it is absolutely worthy of the fight.

Author's Note

Please review and leave some feedback so I can improve my work

Reviews

[emmajoygreen]

There's absolutely no need for improvement, Molly. Your words are laid with such care, honesty and literary harmony - and, in spite of the subject - seeminly abject misery. Could feel emotion rising, understanding certain phrases and how they sting the very core of a person, 'I’ve sung this song through nights that were so, so, so dark, that even the stars closed their '

You are a gentle, creative poet, Molly.. someone to read and remember. Many, many thank yous for sharing your words - and heart.