The Shore

                        Every Summer we come here, 

                                                        To wander along the shore,

                                            Inhale the fragrance of decay,

                                                            And enjoy the feeling of slowly dying

                          As the UV rays cook our flesh.

              You stoop to pick up a shell,

                                                                      Turn it over in the palm of your hand,

                          Trace the smooth white surface,

                        And slip it in the pocket of your shorts

                            “For luck” you tell me, with that childish grin,

                                     But I don’t see how it could be lucky,

   When its former owner is already dead,

                                               And I begin to wonder

                                        At all the young girls who refuse to wear their sisters’ clothing

                                    But string these hand-me-down bodies around their necks,

                                             And think nothing of it.

                                        Aren’t they afraid of the ghosts that haunt them?

                                    The voices of dead creatures still echo inside,

                                   Penetrating the hollow silence of sand and waves,

    Perhaps that’s why we love the sea after all,

          Because along with our fascination with graveyards,

                And history books,

             And obituaries,

                                            Our love of the shore shows

                 How much we all love to remember,

                         That so many have died,

                                   But we are still alive.

Author's Note

This is new and I think I want to add more to it, but I'm not sure. What do you think?

Reviews

[Claude]

The piece demonstrates the value of life at all levels. It's easy to feel superior. Great perspective.

[luciddreamer]

This write touched my soul.....beautiful :)
Peace
Robin

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

your lines undulate like the waves themselves~ narrator's perception is to be cherished~ how I wept when they cut the pine and dragged it bleeding sap into the living room for holiday~ so my bleeding heart liberal vegan aspect relates deeply~

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

I love how our eyes are led along to sweep across the page, back and forth.
Its a very interesting effect. The emotions pulled me in right away. I could
practically smell the salt in the air

[marisa starkilicious]

I like the part about the shell being "for luck". Because when we pick up shells, we never realize something alive used to be in there.

"And I begin to wonder/At all the young girls who refuse to wear their sisters’ clothing/But string these hand-me-down bodies around their necks,/And think nothing of it." Some of the best lines ever written, I have to say.

It really makes me view the ocean in a different way. You put a strange light on it, comparing the shore to a graveyard. And though I have never thought about it before, it makes too much sense. I wish I could see the world as you do, and then again, I don't.

This is a very haunting poem, to say the least, especially when I get to thinking about it.

[...]

. the image of the hand me downs is astonishing and brilliant ... of course immensely poignant too ... i shall tell you something about it but on email ... this is exceptional writing ... pleased to meet you ... and oscar wilde is my favourite too ... the quote in your profile is amazingly inspiring ...

[David W Moore III]

I think we all have a fascination with death. I'm not sure that's what I get at the beach. It's more the eternal. The unending. The unknown. I can of course see your point, so eloquently made, and wonder why my mind hasn't gone there before. Very insightful of you. I personally think it's just fine as it is.

[Molly]

Thanks! I think I will try that with the format. It was actually a little different when I wrote it, but when I published it here it moved things. The shoreline effect was intentional though so I'm glad that was clear. I think I might actually add a line or two about Autumn in there if you don't mind.

[eversosweetly]

Oh! I like what you are saying here. I think I agree. The ocean makes us feel alive--that's why we like it. But the underlying reason is because somewhere deep down.. the horizon, the push and the pull, the hollow shells washed up on the shore... it reminds us of time and eternity.

Autumn is the same. I feel most alive in autumn, because the withering trees, the migrating animals, the change in the sunlight...Autumn, like the ocean, has a melancholy beauty...and it reminds me to Live while I am still here.

I like what you are doing with the format, it's shaped like the water along the shoreline, which adds to the imagery. Perhaps you could tweak the format just a little by making the shocking lines stand out a little bit more, like you did with this line: "...When its former owner is already dead". That sunk in with me even more because it broke format in both thought and actual placement. Your first unexpected line, "inhale the fragrance of decay," might be placed in a similar way to have a more powerful effect on the reader. =D