Best Ride Here

Best Ride Here

A Story by Mokey
"

Another 55-word story!

"

"Step inside, Mac.  Best ride here."
 
John looked at the attraction and snorted.
 
"Don't know what you're missin'.  Scared?"
 
"No."
 
"Give it a try, Mac.  Step inside."
 
"Waste of time," John grumbled as he sat.  After a minute, he opened the door. "When's it start?"
 
A man with a spear lunged, and John slammed the door.
 
When he opened it again, the attendant winked.  "Don't worry about time, Mac."

© 2008 Mokey


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Reviews

I found it rather amusing.

Posted 16 Years Ago


You definitely have a skill for grabbing the reader in a few short sentences. Honestly if you made a few stories out of any of the ones I've read so far, based off of what I have seen I probably wouldn't put it down until I reached the end.

Posted 16 Years Ago


I was just perusing your writings and quite frankly, I am impressed at how you provoke so much thought from the reader in so few words. I wouldn't swear to it, but you may be a great writer. This one was funny but the one about cleaning your room was the best.

Posted 16 Years Ago


lol, that was random, you conveyed an entire action scene in a few sentences what would have taken most a full page. Kudos!

Posted 16 Years Ago


Intriguing. I'm seeing the ride looking like the car from Back To the Future.

Can't help wanting a little more at the end...but since the 55-word limit is deliberate, you've done a good job of creating a story here.

Thanks for posting it.

Posted 16 Years Ago


This was thought provoking in a sense. I liked it.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I have never heard of a 55 word story it must be very difficult to convey a thought with so lille words. I like the humor in your style it is suprising when it springs out just like the guy with a spear. Nice work

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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257 Views
7 Reviews
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Added on April 4, 2008

Author

Mokey
Mokey

FL



About
Hi. :) I think I'll just come here to share random poetry. Normally I don't write poetry, but I would like to practice that a bit more so I can improve. more..

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