Sketch of Othello

Meeting another challenge from Doug! :)

You’re here on vacation again
And you say you’ll take him back with you
A thousand miles away.

I’m not his real mother, after all.

And there he is, half asleep
Against the cool of the wall,
His midsection flopping sideways to the floor
Like a baby Buddha
Shedding his fur like lotus petals
Unaware of what we say.

And there you are, sitting stiff,
Knowing you’ll never really take him
Because you can’t stand to feed him
Or hold him at night against your chest
While his soft purring lulls you to sleep.

I’m glad you left us alone.

Reviews

[Legion]

Children and pets always seem to get caught in the middle. Glad you got the cat.

[S. L. Ganier]

From my perspective, I'd say that poem's quite personal. I could be wrong. I enjoyed reading it, and I'm glad you wrote it.

[Poeticpiers]

intruiging story. set my mind flying of at tangents.

[Doug]

The picture for this poem is funny. Othello is all up in your grill. :) The poem is good. You definitely have that quirky style that works well. Now, I'm going to preface this by saying that it's definitely only my opinion and there are a million people that would disagree. One thing I'd recommend would be to cut down the word usage. If you take a look at the poem line by line, you'll see that some words aren't needed to get your message across. I went for a year or two with this idea in mind, trying to see how short I could make poems and still get the message across. I have the feeling you'd find with this poem you could cut out a quarter of the words or more and it'd still say the same things. Again, this is totally my opinion. I know that. But if I'm going to review something it'll be of my opinion. The poem is good though.