Music From Another Room

I wrote this piece about a year and a half ago, and I keep finding myself revisiting it.

When I was young I never knew
The kind of s**t you get put through
Just to make yourself a well-liked man:

The places you don't care to list,
The people that you come to miss,
The boundaries that you'll never cross again.

When something comes across the floor
Inviting you to offer more;
Its love again, she's digging in your fate-

Knowing that your time is soon,
When music from another room
Comes playing through the radiator grate.

Author's Note

The picture is a drawing I found in my old notebook I used for class. Yes, I am an awful artist, but if its not clear, its a stick figure man on a sailboat with a girl who has a pile of books beside her. The man is looking back at a nearby Island where another girl looks back at him.

If the picture isn't coming up here is a link to it:

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/385790_809528466665_36410729_37804614_875085698_n.jpg

Reviews

[Nobody.]

what an interesting little rhyme. Somewhere between Shel Silverstein and John Donne, you've found a hybrid moment to convey; and man does it tear at the substance of the soul.

Like running fingers over old scars,
and remembering why you never want that to happen again,
and then a beautiful distraction
wafts into the room,
and everything goes back into the box.

Great stuff dude.

Cheers!

[Coffee Vampier]

"When I was young I never knew
The kind of s**t you get put through"

Honestly i think this was a perfect way to start your poem becasue EVERYONE can relate. Right off the bat I thought of things that i never knew could happen to people when i was young... i wish someone would have warned me then again i am happy for those times

[Linear]

Is the grass really so green on the other side?
and the music drifts and lingers enticing, exciting, pulsating pulling you in........what to choose, or whom..........the picture fits well with the poem i think :O)

[LinBin]

Another great poem from a great writer, I loved the flow of this piece and the message x

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I love this!! Such a sweet and romantic piece. The rhythmic flow carries throughout the poem, which makes it pleasant to read... I can read this over and over again... and have! lol! Well done!

[Ruth]

I think this is unique and well written :) Sometimes a shorter piece can offer so much and this allows the reader to imagine intensely :) xoxo

[Daytonight]

Great rhyme and flow! Well done. Keep on penning.

[Kenneth The Poet]

Nice pile of rhyme. Very clear and concise, Mike.

You write really well.

[Me]

Nice piece

[Kristin Brecoe]

there is nothing awful about quality stick figure drawings. =P

as for the piece...the rhyme was well done, and the message was wonderful. =]
its detailed but open enough for personal interpretations and reflections.

[Adora.xo]

This definately held me in and kept me there. I have an active imagination and the gritty theme in your chosen diction enhanced that. I love that every line sounds like an un-edited thought. I don't particularly know where to begin with what I liked, and what I loved about this. I have to say the last stanza though definately hit home and brought a sense of reality to it when the reader hears the music playing through the radiator grate. I had to read it twice because after that I got a better image in my head, and much better sense of the emotion or though process behind this. I loved it! [I hate being redundant but I did]
Great job!

~Adora