Hospice

Morbid much?

The windowless room;
The end is near, we're told.
Days are not days,
And nights are not nights,
And time is not time
For the sun is blind
Beyond the stone walls,
And invisible, therefore
Invisible to me too
Is time! And now
There is no dark,
There is no light,
There is just a candle
Glowing endlessly,
Withholding a snuff
By dancing feverishly
Against a gray backdrop.

Author's Note

Just wrote this, could probably be re-worked.

Reviews

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

your descriptive prowess here through composition is vivid and penetrating~ the word choices strung together in this particular pattern elicit a response on all sensate levels~ where the words create not just visuals but sounds and scents around the aura of the content~

[Vanessa Rico]

Mike this poem hit close to home. My great grandparents raised me, so they were a lot older than most parents obviously. My senior year my great grandfather got sick and had to be admitted to the hospice ward in the hospital. You described the bleak atmosphere that is accompanied with this ward and how most hope is sucked away from you. You brought tears to my eyes.

[Misty Blue Eyes]

very cool poem

[Ruth]

Dark, yes, but true....beautifully mastered love! A graven image, chilling really! xx

[trainwreck]

This was a very strong write, and I think you could make it better. I really, really loved it though.

[Tina Kline]

I think you did a great job on capturing how it must feel, when you know you are there just to die. The dark, probably lonely feeling where time doesn't really matter anymore and there is nothing now to hope for.

[Clarisse Nanoit]

This is kinda dark, but I LOVE the tone and your word choice. The last three lines are a deal sealer, for me. =) Very cool poem.
KH

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

A depiction of nothingness. Nothing to look forward to but the end. Well penned

[JelliFyshKissUs]

Ugh... I truly hate anything associated with death... especially Hospice, for all the reasons you stated. But my mind kept drifting to life in general when reading this. Like a deathbed where people scream at you that the end is near and days are not days and nights are not nights, and time is not time... where there is just a candle withholding a snuff... loved that part. You remind us of the eventuality that awaits.

[Kenneth The Poet]

Reads like the last scene of a book where you don't intend to write a sequel.

I like those kinds of endings.

Great job!

[Crowley]

Good description...dark as it should be...you forgot the part about how people talk to you like you are a three year old or like you are a retard....I hate when people do that. Great job.