Strange Pits of Fashion Have I Known

Strange Pits of Fashion Have I Known

A Poem by Moflo
"

An apology...To all those that got away. (structure is important here)

"
Kaitlin:

We met in college back when
We were both freshmen. I
Never tried to do too much
Beyond comparing notes, but you,
You grew very interested and
You called me every day
While I led you on until
You'd slowly fade away.
So soon you would move on
And get yourself someone else
But this raised no alarm
Inside of my head.

Then he died, her man,
The guy who took that vacant space
I neglected to pursue, the pain
Of loss was written on her face.
While all her friends I'd known
Were writing eulogies,
She refused to change her status
And admit that she was free,
While I tried to accept
That she would never love me now
Her life has changed, well she has
Probably forgotten me anyhow.

Susan:

Last time I saw you was way back
When we used to roam the streets
Drinking in our playful youth;
You would appear with your friends
And you'd seen me around school
So when you said hello you would
Plant a kiss upon my lips,
Nothing serious, just a kiss.
And one night I had went out
My last night in the town
You planted one more kiss
Your last, and then I left.

Soon I went away to school
And began to miss the nights
When just saying hello
Could leave me satisfied.
I know I never told her
How each kiss made me feel
But I can't help but think
That if I had, this may be real;
If she could have been something
More than just a flinch,
A second of euphoria
That faded in a cinch.

Megan:

At first I was surprised at how
You would respond to my pursuit
You were beautiful, and I felt weird
Even being able to be seen
Beside you, even if you got too drunk
And often disappeared, the night
Would always end with you back
Beside me saving the last dance.
Then summer came and we were distant
And my paranoia grew, if the
Last dance wasn't mine, then who
Was glorified with such a gift?
-I might have gotten pretty mad
That night you did not return my call,
I said some hurtful things and now
You want no part of me at all!

Her eyes are piercing
Her hair on fragile shoulders rests,
And just her picture makes me
Feel a strong sense of regret.
I want to ask her how she's been
And see if she's still mad
But I know she won't be coming back
Because I hurt her pretty bad.
And she's miles away from me
That's the way she wants to stay,
But I cannot shake this belief
That she'll return some day.

Lauren:

When I met you, I remember
I didn't quite fall for you, I didn't
Care at that time to really get involved,
But something hit me late that night
That insisted you were worth
The pursuit, so I asked you to come back out
And you declined! But I was persistent
Spouting charming phrases that went
Nowhere you could see them coming true
And soon I got the hint and left,
Left you to find somebody else
And you left too with the same thought in mind.

At night I see her out
And we exchange hellos
But I start to think about
How she feels down below,
Beneath the friendly small talk
In which we must now engage,
If she can still remember
The words I used to say;
In place of "hi, how are you?"
Were gaudy compliments-
'Does she still see me saying them?'
But she probably did forget.

Ashley:

I had thought your friend was joking
When she said that you were free
And looking for a man, so I
Told her I was willing to
Give you a shot, and she
Set us on a date!  But I
Never showed. I was
Busy at home watching the
Yankees game!  So you
Met our other friend from there
And I silently watched as you guys
Grew into a five-year love affair.

I caught up with her briefly
When her birthday rolled around,
Bought a couple drinks and then
We spoke of our old town.
Then she danced away
To be with her man
And I marveled at the years
That passed with slight of hand.
What if I had never stayed
To see the Yankees play;
There will always be a game on
But there's only one Ashley.

Samantha:

We met when I was twenty, you sat
Next to me while I was
Fixing up my education at a
Community College that I dreaded, where
You had come as well to
Fix up what went wrong and you
Had a movement that suggested
If I listened to you speak we may
Establish something meaningful together;
But then you fell astray and stopped attending class,
While I had a one night dream of us
Together in a perfect world.

Her new hair color's blond,
And its grown long and strait,
She's even got a baby now
Shared with her brand new mate.
I can see her hold it close
Exploiting all her charm,
Rocking the child gently
Within her sturdy arms.
I start to see she did not know
The future I wish I had said.
Seems all her subtle movements
Danced only in my head.

Jen:

How we first started talking, I don't
Exactly recall now, I know
We were intoxicated and
Something drew me towards you
And your friends at the bar.
I bought a couple drinks for us
And then we settled down
You said that I was really nice
And then we briefly shared
A kiss which I can still feel,
Then I said goodbye and left
Never to return.

At night I see her waiting
For me to call her back
To tell her how I'm doing,
And make sure she's still intact.
That's if she still remembers
Our one enchanted night,
And when I think about it
I highly doubt she might.
So I stare into the faces
Of others when I'm out,
Hoping she'd recognize me
But if she ever will, I doubt.

© 2011 Moflo


Author's Note

Moflo
Hope this gets everyone into the Valentines Day spirit...Again, its all format at this point, my wording is entirely tentative. Names have been changed to protect the subjects..enjoy! Oh and I know its far from perfect.

One more thing..the title is a play on the title of a William Wordsworth poem, "Strange Fits of Passion Have I known"

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Featured Review

First of all, I love the wordplay of the title! So clever.

I love the idea of this poem.. I can imagine that it probably felt great to get this all out. To write of all these lovers past, and then to publish it. I commend you.

I also really love the form. You give us some background on each girl, and then turn your remaining thoughts into poetry. The fact that your lingering thoughts are poetry is sorts poetic in and of itself.... all you have left of these women is whim.

Obviously, this poem is about your past love life, which... you can't really change right now. However, I would have liked to see it end a little more conclusively. There are sections for each of these girls, and it seems like you still think about each of them. This poem would have come full circle if you hammered out your feelings for the last girl a little more (*assuming* she was all that more important in your life). I feel like if you had written about how you miss her most of all, or instead left the end for someone who you know will always be in your life.. it would have felt more conclusive. Without ending on either extreme, we're sorta left wondering what's up with you now. (Nosy, I know).

Great, great poem... really original in form.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

The tender memories and linger regret are really nicely done here. Sitting and contemplating the past while cautiously considering the future. =)

Posted 13 Years Ago


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great idea..its brave for a man to write about past loves..at least the names are changed..LOL

Posted 13 Years Ago


*ponders* have you ever seen/read "hi fidelity" by nick hornsby/awesome movie starring john cusack? this reminded me of the path the protagonist walked in that.. the sort of revisiting of previous loves.. moving to the one that hurt him the most. this was wincingly honest. i felt compelled to read yet also felt like i was treading upon sacred ground. wonderful.

Posted 13 Years Ago


This is really amazing, I like the play on words.
Very well done!

Posted 13 Years Ago


I truly do love this. It felt as if we got a glimpse into you mind and your heart. The Ashley one really spoke to me... How strange life plays out.. and even more strange how you seemed to run n2 so many opportunities to make things last but something gets in the way.. Even I regret that yankee game, but maybe it will just open the door for some1 better for u.

Posted 13 Years Ago


really really good! i love the personality on this one, it really adds to the loving effect!

Posted 13 Years Ago


that very interesting & personable, intriguing ...love the title, too!

Posted 13 Years Ago


100/100 it really took me into your world from your eyes.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Very clever Mike! Love the structure and thought behind this write. I feel like I just got a peek into your little black book...lol! Love the play on the Wordsworth title, makes me think each mentioned was just that...a trend, a fad of the moment that does have an impact or stamp in ones memory. A memory you question, but can't quite let go. Wonderful write!

Posted 13 Years Ago


Well you have let more than a few get away, but I enjoyed the journey through your little black book, I once fell in love with a girl she was 9 and I was 10, we were the best of friends growing up together, she once even whispered in my ear that she loved me, I was such a smuck, I clammed up, and she walked away, bloody stupid fool me. years later we were still friends, but those moments never came back, I still loved her but never told her, then one day walking through a park with my girl friend arm in arm, there she was sitting on a bench with her guy, she looked at me, It's then that I knew.................

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 10, 2011
Last Updated on February 10, 2011

Author

Moflo
Moflo

NY



About
I am a 26 year old recent college grad trying to establish myself. Recently moved back to NY from Pennsylvania and looking for work. Now working on becoming an English teacher. more..

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