To New York

Dedicated to the city I was born in, and why I left it.

I'm sorry but I could never love you now
After I have seen your true colors and
Your wrath which others mark up as your glory;
They spew that they are stronger, able to
Take the scrutiny you expose upon
Your residents, like some disastrous plague,
But it is no real pleasure to survive
The disease if you're still subject to the symptoms,
And this is why I have moved away.

I walk amidst the streets of Manhattan
Past a quarry of ducks you call your own,
Business men, ducks in suits, quacking away
With profanity and judgment of their
Peers; they sure are superior, they think.
And in a dive on 53rd Street, I
Vanish into insignificance as one
Duck flies in for his feeding, alcohol
In a "dress shirt" by Ed Hardy and shoes
By Louis Vitton, a walking rap song!
To me, he is comical in his skin.

But now that I am gone, I see you
In the faces of the others out here,
They long to be amongst the ducks
Soaring through what they consider endless skies,
And I don't have the courage to say its
All a lie! For your ducks cannot fly high,
They don't wish to; they live beside a lake
That's more plentiful than anywhere else,
But they only assume this because they
Have never really left! But I have now,
And your ignorance, to me, is comical.

Author's Note

Definitely not a finished product but I just wanted to get this one up. PS, if you have never been to New York, A New York accent has been compared to a duck's quack...hope that helps the imagery. Let me know what you think.

Reviews

[Clarisse Nanoit]

I love this also! You are very talented. Your metaphor here is quite interesting, and it works well. Maybe all they really want to be is geese, but deep down they know they are inadequate. This reminds me of a theme of Catcher In The Rye--if you've never read it you should--where Holden Caulfield asks random people throughout the book where the ducks from the pond in Central Park go when the pond is frozen. Interesting, if not intentional, parallel. Great piece!
KH

[Stacey]

A very insightful write Mike! Your Authors Note aided my visual of what you've described in verse. I have been to this city and stuck out like a sore thumb, but it was very amusing. I tried living on the West Coast and that didn't work for me either. These are my southern girl, fish out of water stories and I wouldn't trade the experiences. Yet as you've described...I feel the same about my southern home to which I will never return. I look back to her and remember, see all the reasons I left. So I will continue clicking my heels until I land in a place that feels like home. I really enjoyed this write and read...very thought provoking to anyone of thier own situation. Wonderful!

[Cynthia]

well, I ahve never gone to New York >< But you help me imagine it in my head, I guess I get the thing, the expressing of this poem is really great! I love how you compare things, especially to a duck's quak. Its sort of a personal experience revealing to me, lol.
Nice Job!

[Linear]

Well Mike, i really dont know what to say, you express well your feelings as the ducks go quacking by, it's no mystery they cant fly, for there all being stuffed and made ready for the ......... now where was i? great work as usual, and something all New Yorkers will think on i'm sure

[Stef Outsiders]

ive never been to new york but i kinder imagine what it is like... you give a good insight... ive only ever seen it on tv lol

[Narnie]

I've always wanted to go to New York :)
This is a brilliant comparison and I know you're going to take it places.
A few years back, a poet said to me 'I have a problems with 'and' in poetry' and everyone around the table shouted him down but the thought stuck with me. I check each poem to make sure every 'and' can be justified, whether it could be subsitituted or just allow the line break to take the breath. Many would dismiss that, I'm sure, but it made a big difference to me and how I work so I thought I would pass it onto you.
Keep on this poem - it's worth it. :)

[Dilan Gray]

I like this. I'm not sure I have ever read a poem based on a city, so it's a cool new change. I really like the images.

[Cocoacandy]

i like how you compared them to ducks... and yes, having never been to New York, that does help lol... well written, i like it... keep up the good work...
*cocoabean*

[Brianna Brie]

Wow...I love the metaphor and how you worked it. This is a great piece. I am a country girl myself. Have been to the big apple enough times, and often thought I would perish amongst its harshness. This poem has the potential to offend many people, but one can't really refute a personal experience now can they. The second verse is my favorite.

[OT]

haha the new york accent like the duck quacks - well written! I like the differing viewpoints almost as it progresses, I like the cadence, it is very Catcher in the Rye-ish I thought - where you borrowed from maybe? the ducks in the park - nice poem!

[Princess3Morag]

Aww, I love it! :D The duck imagery is nice and the last stanza really sums it up nice and clearly :)