Playing Commander Keen

Commander Keen was a computer game I had when I was a kid.

Based on a dream I had the night of November 6, 2009

I find myself in your bedroom,
Someplace I haven't been since June.
Our bed is cut in half now with
A red curtain separating
Me and you, but I'm not alone,
My friend is with me, he is drunk
And he is stumbling around
The curtain like a rapid dog.

He trips! He falls into the curtain,
And he rips it down, exposing
You and your new friend in bed
But there is no alarm, just stares,
And for a second you're enthralled
That we could share this bed again.

Then, suddenly, I find I have
Returned to a different time:
A game I played once as a kid
Where all the road ahead of me
Was endless platforms rising high
Into what seemed like endless skies,
And every single platform was
Christened with tiny treasures:
Candy-bars and lollipops,
Ice-cream cones and Gobstoppers.
And here I jumped into the sky,
Rising with each platform's step.

Then the platforms ended and
I approached a distant staircase,
Just to find that you were back
In my arms, to join my climb.
We softly hit each wooden stair,
Climbing with your hand in mine.

And as we approached the top
I froze, to a sudden alarm.
I see a man atop the stairs
Asleep in his chair, even though
He holds a video camera
Filming those who climb the steps,
And beside him, a monitor
A television screen showing
Our climb into the sky
For all the onlookers to see.

I stop to wake the poor man up,
To say he is asleep at work;
But the onlookers disagree,
Say I should let the poor man sleep.
And when I turned to finish my
Climb, I found you'd disappeared.

So I jumped and jumped just looking
For where you might have gone or
Something that would serve as a clue
To what you might be doing now,
And after every empty platform,
The candy-bars and lollipops,
The ice-cream cones and Gobstoppers,
Which no longer exist because
I have already been here, I
Realize you're a pointless cause.

So solemnly I do return
To our bedroom all alone.
There is no curtain anymore
And I am sliding furniture
Around so I can re-create
What once separated our bed.

In the haste I find a picture
Tacked onto your wall of you
And me, when I was younger,
A past you never saw, although
There you stood beside me, repulsed
At what you were, what I once was.

-There's a photograph in my room too
Of all my friends from youth posing
With their wives and girlfriends now
In a beige kitchen.  And there I was
Off to the side, still by myself
Standing by an open window,
And covering the window,
A red curtain.

Author's Note

This poem is very personal to me, mostly because I feel my writing it predicted something that happened to me a year later. I still feel as though its not perfect though so please tell me what you think.

Reviews

[OT]

very powerful descriptions and content, you took us on a bit of a trip!! it reminded me of a cross between playing mario and watching a tortured love story haha - climbing the platforms to ascend to the higher levels - but falling back down to the bedroom which you now occupy alone!! It reads a little prose like (not sure if intentional) but I like that! I think rhymes would have made it contrived! nice!!

[Tina Kline]

I like it. Dreams can be very powerful when we remember them upon waking. They seem odd often but I'm thinking they do have some sort of meaning. Yours here is very fascinating. I think you did a great job writing this down.

[Saraplenty]

This left me with a haunting, longing, aching feeling. Overall it reminded me of something a professor of mine said, "You can never relive a moment twice." This feeling of returning, but unable to return to how it once was. I'm probably off, but that's the beauty of perception. I like this... a lot.

[Ravyne Hawke]

What a wonderful trip! Your cleverly crafted descriptions made me feel like one of those onlookers. I think it is perfect just the way it is. Dream poems are always, well.. a bit dreamy and you captured that perfectly.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

What an intriquinging dream - it is so interesting how a youthful passion for someone can be turned into a game in a sense and back again...and then one wonders was it a game to begin with and then reality? I wonder if you mean to use the word 'rabid' dog in the beginning rather than 'rapid'? Still an intense and telling tale of youths love, loss and renewal somehow! Well done...
Light,
Siddartha

[Ruth]

Amazing work love, almost free form, I think it holds great pace that makes the reader need more even!
So many things within this work....you have printed experience and personal blueprints in it........love......I am actually speechless! lol
AWESOME! xx

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

I find this very interesting Dream interpretations fascinate me and I found myself thinking very deeply as I read this, wondering what it meant. I have crazy dreams like this too. You are a brave soul to post yours...........wonderful

[cfix]

Very interesting write here. I enjoyed this.

[trainwreck]

Its really good. I enjoyed reading it, and it is certainly very interesting. Keep writing stuff like this. I enjoyed it loads.

[Clarisse Nanoit]

wow. gorgeous poem. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS! Dreams are something I find very important, whether they predict the future or simply provide more insight to one's own thoughts or feelings. I like the way you tied it together with the red curtain thing. Great way to end it. You have skills.
KH

[AlisshalovesBrandon]

wow this is a very good poem. i love it....