White

Ode to Writer's Block

Somewhere out my window
Distant mountains symbolize
A feeling that I wish I had
Because contention with my life,
As odd as this may sound,
Only seems to come out white.

I'm not fishing for lonesomeness
As all of my intentions swarm
A manifest of perfection
Breaking from the social norm
I'm accustomed to with pen in hand
But since you're back, I've lost my form!

I guess I find it hard to understand
How I could make such a living out of
Feeling depressed, destroyed, deranged, deprived,
Searching for this long lost love,
When happiness seems to quench the fire,
A feeling that puts me above.

And so my body stares with threat
At a blank computer page,
Waiting for words to leave my head,
Waiting for players on the stage
To comply a show with words,
That I've strategically arranged.

But real life comes like sharpened swords,
Pouring to my blanking sight!
The laptop closes, days are longer
But inspiration fails to write,
And I can't seem to apprehend
The words that gather in my mind.

So because of you I can't amend
The words to thank you for the days
That we spent together as
They only seem to write cliches!
I'm not saying I'm not happy,
I just can't find the words to say.

-I'm saying that your presence is a joy
An inspiration to my life.
You fill my head with beautiful words
That form immaculate structures, pictures,
But when the words travel to my fingertips,
They seem to come out invisible.

Author's Note

Really its the last paragraph I'm not certain is necessary.

Reviews

[Aimee Mahathy]

I love this! "So because of you I can't amend
The words to thank you for the days
That we spent together as
They only seem to write cliches!"
That was perhaps the best, I think! I think a last stanza is needed as the one before it seems to end on a cliffhanger. It doesn't, technically, but I got the feeling that it did. Perhaps mess around with it a bit to figure out a better way to put it? However! The last two lines of the final stanza are perfect! Don't change those!

[Markymark]

I have seen more people find inspiration in non-inspiration this past month than I have in years. Must be the snow! I love the six lined stanza, and the short syllable count. It has an easy meter, timing the read just write. And BTW, I know the feeling. The block is removed sometimes with really good classical music, even if you hate classical music. Sounds dumb, but I swear it works sometimes.

Great writing friend--

Mark

[Narnie]

Ahh but joy in love becomes a joy to write. The wonderful inspiration when you find your muse a place in your poems is the most magical place. I think it could be honed - maybe try to be brutal and cut it down to one stanza with just the absolute necessary before looking to expand it again... afterall, the point is you can't write, eh? I'm enjoying browsing your work. It has a fresh voice. You have talent.

[MiidniightSoul]

I really liked the last stanza most, it's very deep and lovely. The poem is very beautifully written. Emotional and creative. Wonderful, keep it up.

[Jazmine T]

you capture those feelings perfectly..how many times inspiration spirals around my mind but refuses to connect with my arm!

[GreenSkeleton16]

i think i read this be4. is this on booksie?
it sounds very familiar :) i like it

i like the last stanzA.

[D S Rollins]

Maybe put the last stanza somewhere in the middle, it does add to the idea of writers block. But oh yeah, having writers block is not cool, and I love how you immaculately describe the frustration of it!

I think the last part explains a lot, actually.
it's frustrating when you have so much to express, and it's all in your head and you're about ready to burst from the emotion of it-
but when it all comes down to it, you just can't explain it or get it out onto paper.
How you feel, everything.

I'm drinking coconut macaroon coffee loaded with cream and sugar- don't mind me. :)

[hiempsal]

Hey, I really like this. It's really honest. And yet kind of ironic since lack of inspiration is your inspiration...
I agree with other people, I think the last stanza fits well with what you were trying to say, but I like the one before it better as an ending. Maybe you could play around with the order or something?
Either way, great piece that I know I can relate to... :)

[Cherrie Palmer]

The shy and allusive tale seen in his natural habitat but seldom captured
loved it