A Doe, A Deer, A Female And Her Twins!

If you like adventure or nature you should read this.

We stopped for a quick rest on the way but she was so anxious she didn't want to eat anything. I told her she needed the energy but she still didn't care. When she saw that I was serious and that I was pulling out my sandwich, she decided to eat a granola bar and we both started eating an apple on the way up. Her eyes started to light up as we could both start to hear the water falling and crashing on the rocks. She climbed faster and faster and when she saw I was falling behind she ran down and started pulling my arms up and just about yanked them off! Finally we reached the top of the rocks and could look down onto everything. We sat behind a thin yet tall bush and sure enough we saw a doe and her twin babies. Every spot on their backs were identical. She very quietly took out some corn from our bag and lifted it up to one of the twins. The doe and the other twin saw it, then they sniffed it, then they ate it. When they left we got up and began our walk down the mountain.

Reviews

[Amelia Mae M.]

Thanks for the advice but as a reminder, I am still a new-comer.

[Bakari Bruce]

Okay i'm assuming this happened in real life? I'm not sure but i think my advice would work for you still.
BE DESCRIPTIVE. Say what thoughts you were thinking. Readers will get bored if they just follow a timeline. Don't forget to add sights, smells, emotions. All of this are important in bringing you reader into your special moment.