Dear World

Dear World....

Know that I heard the rumor that you were suppose to be ending tomorrow. Although there have been countless times where we have heard that before, and nothing happen. Now don't get me wrong I am willing and able to respect the fact that anything can happen. Which leads me to what I have to say here and now. There is a few things I want to confess and get off my chest. This may be the last thing that I write for a while as it relates to posting that is. I am getting burnt out a lot more now. I also realize that I am thankful for music as well as writing today. Due to the fact that if it did not exist I would not exist. Though I want to apologize to you world. The reason is because if you were to fall on your ends tomorrow or anytime know that I am sorry to see that you are not what I thought you were. I heard the stories on how you should be..... What you could be..... Whet you were..... Never what you are..... Now don't get it twisted I am not speaking on the creator, but I am speaking on the people that have been created there is a huge difference. Which brings me to another thing; lets face it I knew that for twenty years of my life there has something that has been sitting inside me all along, but I was to scared to tap into it. That is a darkness... It is funny I have been told that before. The only thing is this darkness I thought I can control, but with each day that you get weaker this darkness grows stronger. It has me to the point where those that hurt me, or want to hurt me. I want to hurt them...... Those that want to kill me, inflict harm to my family. I know that it is wrong, but I would want to kill them as well. Know that you owe me nothing world. You never did,.. As for a spouse someone to share with it's funny how I get a taste of it, and it slips away. It makes me feel that it is just that a fantasy something that will never happen. I can see what I desire... I can love what I want to love, but that does not mean that it loves me does it? That does not mean that it desires me does it? I have been my own hero in this life of mine for so long. Though what happens if that hero needs a hero? I have been fighting so much as I know many of us have, but let's face another fact I discovered that there are good people that exist, but have I really had that true friend to go to? No they are all out of reach... In a entirely different place, and I never got it.. On the other hand if you end again today or tomorrow, or two months from now know that there is one thing that I can truly thank you for. That is writing..... I just hope that there is writing in the life that is after this one. I hope that the creator of you has countless notebooks for us as writers to write in when that time comes rather it is later or sooner. Not to mention that it seems that death has tried to get me three times now in my car. Here is one thing I can say.. If death wants me dead. If someone wants me dead that bad. You as death or an individual are going to have to try a whole hell of a lot harder to get me. In conclusion know that if you end you don't owe me nothing cause I had a decent life. Having motivation in the weirdest places was one of the very few things to keep me going. This is not a suicide letter, this is not a rant, this is not a monologue. Honest I have no title to fully describe this. I guess for those that know me will know what this is if they manage to be able to read in between my writing......

Sincerely

Josh

“ My strength was always my dreams, but my weakness was always seeing those dreams in front me knowing that they were not true”

ModestWords 

Author's Note

...