Still About Her

On the ride home today I realize that every thought that I hear.

Every ounce of fear that I have.

From every single name I hear of the opposite sex that is not mine.

As I rush to get a grip on my heart, and the last of this life with the sanity I have.

I notice that I can not live without a sign of her.

Hearing her name.......

Thinking of her voice....

Wondering what my future would be like if I was to have her.

I know what it would be if it was up to me, and yes I think of her often.

Though no matter what happens in the end it is still her choice.

Sometimes I wonder if it is a dream. After all her eyes sometime I can't see.

Other times she feels next to me like she is near and here. After she is an image.

The only time I see her in my brain as it looks into my hearts mirror.

Maybe I am hopeless....

Maybe I am insane....

Maybe I pray to much for a fantasy, or I don't pray enough, or maybe I refuse to do it because all of this I wish for maybe is a lie that just causes me constant pain.

Maybe I just hurt to much cause I am sick of the word try.

Hear I am staring at the phone.... I go to pick it up I hear rings, and no one picks up.

As I hear her words on the voicemail.

“Hey it is me there is something I have to say....”

“Please don't ask why”

“These feelings know that I can't deny.”

“I think that you are beautiful”

“I hope I can see you, and meet you in reality for awhile, and we can get pass a hi.

“You are my image. I love you bye”

No longer can I listen to the song known as sad.

If I do I find myself getting mad.

Not because I hate it, but I feel that if things don't go my way.

I would ask myself what is it that I am doing wrong?

Why do I feel so sad?

What is it that I could have done more?

What is it that I did not do enough to say that she is something that I should have had.

Lucky is not your name for me.

Your first and last name just won't cut it anymore.

I see you when I see others cause you are always in my head.

A thought of happiness that would make me smile. Make anyone smile as you can be the last thought that someone thinks of during this life, and the first thing they think of when they are dead.

As I go to put this pen away I hear something.......

Is this my phone ringing.

“Hello”

“Hey”

“Did you get my message how are you do...

“What did you say I can not hear; not to cut you off, but that is the true.

“I love you”

If I was not afraid I would say all of this so fast, but in her heart I don't know my place in it.

I am not sure if I am first, or if I am dead last.

The way I am feeling...

The way I feel I thank my past.

Though this life is fast.

It is still about her as she takes me higher.

I don't know if I have it good in her heart, but in my life she is top priority along with my needs.

She is my angel.

Who will remain in first class.

“One day I hope that you see that this is me. That I can't say what I feel all the time. This is why I write”

~ModestWords~

Author's Note

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