Help Me Understand

Always seeking answers

Maybe I am missing something. I was never really that good at hide and seek, but I was good at finding out the truth. Not to mention if it was things that could really harm and hurt me. I always asked what is it that you don't like? What is it that you clarify as fake? I just want to be sure that these are the same things that you told me about in the beginning just to compare it to now, but don't buffer on communication, and be sure to put the phone down when you talk to me because I like my exchange of words to be face to face.

No need to be loud you can clearly see that we are both grown. Me confiding in you was the only place that I can call my feelings and words when I couldn't talk to anyone else home. Till the word count went down by a few;  aggravation level completely skyrocketed like someone's rent would do. How is it that you can feel alone, yet be right in the same room with the person that claim that they would always be there while having your back for what it is that you go through.

Often times I would take the attitude of wait and see. Asking myself after you storm off what is it that is really going on here. What are we really? Are we an item? Are we just two individuals that are good by appearance while the remaining pieces belong inside of a metal asylum. I could never tell my psychologist yes or no only maybe. 
However this was the perfect explanation on how you drive me crazy. 

Is that good or bad?
Is that by love?
If you knew what you now would you put the same time, energy, and effort in.
What about that time when you had that broken hand did you mention that?
Even the time when you cut yourself accidentally and lost all of that blood?

Help me understand what it Is that you are looking to gain?
I feel like mental and spiritual anguish from those who say they care are the worse type of pain. 
Then the judgments followed by your actions of deciding to swing and punch me in the face, but got mad that one time when I grabbed you by your arms and face to sit you down, telling you to calm down was not because I was trying to out power you, but because I am trying to keep us in our place. 

Nothing feels the same.
Its like we want to heal but we stay opening scars.
I remember we use to sit down and wish upon the stars, talk about the things we wanted including the fancy cars.
While all of us including our friends at the time would hang out at bars.
How that one time we both had to make sure we were from the same planet because the way we treated one another was out of this world.

I think we narrowed it down to Mars.
Help me understand.
I just want to understand
How is it that something that's a match made in heaven turns out in turn to be hell between woman and man.
Now I pray that one day that we will no longer be this way.

I may be talking in riddle.
You may think this is just a way that I play.
The more difficult things get without a solution.
A will of wanting to change makes it harder for me to want to stay.