the Abence of Power

feeling - thought- word... action is up to you.

You know...

Who you are,

I cant tell you.

interpretation comes with maturity

adolescence is our only absurdity

When called upon

one must respond

but what is your dead?

shitfaced to the world,

convoluted and swirled?

Or,

a movie going, rockstar whirl, the

abused daddy syndrome girl...

I AM your world, the

free and devastating burl

Who will destroy

all your absolute furrows,

because as has been before:

Come as you are, as you were, as I want you to be*
as my own known, worst enemy

sworn to be mine and mine alone,

You will all

ways be welcome here,

I hold no grudge,

Love is my call

the only judge.

 

Reviews

[dan]

Many examples of unique word play in this piece; my favorite? Splitting the word always into all ways, very clever and completely altering the meaning of the line of verse. The versatile use of varied rhyme scheme keeps this piece usefully unbalanced and lends it sharp cadence and powerful drive. Whenever I see one of your pieces in my RR queue I always review yours first Todd. Always a pleasure. take care...dan

[modtoddinc]

Thanks Dan. {How you been?} You and I seem to think alike. I always find your reviews in line with my own thoughts for the most part and your kindness allows me to see some of my strengths. Take care.

[dan]

How have I been? Just living the dream...hope all is well in your world, Todd. take care...dan

[Coyote Poetry]

Strong thoughts and honest opinions in the poetry.
"You will all
ways be welcome here,
I hold no grudge,
Love is my call
the only judge."
The above lines. They were solid and worthwhile. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Outdated Account]

In my opinion, it's fairly cliche. Anyone who could write in proper English could have written this, and I wouldn't put it past any number of high school sophomores. Poems like these are a dime a dozen, I've written tons of them myself. They're surface layer, go deeper. I wish everyone on this site would write deeper.

[modtoddinc]

Once again I couldn't agree more with your review, and find your thoughts to be consistently on the positive, critical side of my offerings... this is MUCH appreciated in that I hold similar opinions of what I post on this site as well... it's surface level stuff to be chewed and reviewed, hacked and sliced, regurgitated and perhaps become a small part of something bigger, that does not get posted. I use this forum to practice and share thoughts and ideas through writing; often times spontaneously, so I don't forget the moment of the idea. Please don't get me wrong: I believe in going deeper and sharing good writing. I am critical to a fault of myself and keeping things surface level is somewhat of a safety zone, and that's the honest truth.

[wordman]

sounds like a profound message to your love,
she is gone,but you forgive her and invite her back home
where she belongs,telling her you are her refuge,and no one else !!

[modtoddinc]

Thank you wordman.