I Creep

An argument occurs and people get hurt.

My head is splitting,

From these inconsistencies

In your heart-felt words of pain,

And temporal frequencies

 

I’ve made mistakes, and there is no doubt,

Incredible ways I find; I creep

Along the balconies of hysteria,

Into minds I’ve slowly seeped

 

For water around a tower of fear,

In past days of old and beyond

There rests a moat of guilt and shameful,

Crocs- guised and multiplied by all wrongs

 

Yet, there still lies this ancient love,

From spirit found within our beasts

Animalistic tunes of chaos and order,

Drums and gongs in constant beats

 

The dream will come as time in the moon,

And wolves howl every night until the dawn

But when the sun rises and opens these flowers,

A new beginning creates our truest spawn

Author's Note

Reviews

[Michelle Coleman]

Todd (am I right to guess that is your name? 😜), I enjoy your writing. And I love this poem.

"My head is splitting, from these inconsistencies in your heart-felt words of pain.." Inconsistencies being the word that stands out the most. I imagine this is how some people just feel when listening to someone in a world of pain that is so complex and topsy-turvy. It can be a lot to take in and process for the the witness or the listener. Can you imagine what it is like for the recipient?

"I've made mistakes, and there is no doubt, incredible ways I find; I creep along the balconies of hysteria into minds I've slowly seeped." Wow. First of all, "I creep along the balconies of hysteria" is, well, perfectly creepy and predatorial. That is an excellent line. This whole section, I love.

"For water around a tower of fear, in past days of old and beyond, there rests a moat of guilt and shameful, crocs-guised and multiplied by wrongs." Seriously. The picture you are forming in my head is incredible. Your choice of words and imagery are impeccable.

The rest of your poem transitions so beautifully into a place a little less dark. Real, for certain. Animalistic tunes of chaos and order, drums and gongs in constant beat.."

This is one of my favorite poems that I have come across. Awesome job.

[modtoddinc]

Thank you Michelle, I am flattered. This write was from a raw place, and pretty cerebral, its actually not one of my personal favorites, but that doesn't matter, because its most likely because I lived through the feelings and emotions of actual experience and then tried to write... at any rate I am very grateful for you taking the time to read and react by commenting in depth on my artistic expression.

~peace, Todd

[Michelle Coleman]

Well, we write best what we know. You are welcome.

[Workvio]

The imagery you present to mind is fantastic ... This piece shouts the pain of both parties within an argument, and that quiet afterward when both are numb for while before the hurt of wrong words said sinks in ... Well done ...

[RiverRei]

I liked the theme and feel of this until the last stanza. I didn't feel how the it fit in with the rest of the love-love/creep feel of the rest of the piece. I love the song and it fits well with this, just didn't get how the moon and wolves tied into first few stanzas. The first line threw me off right away... "The dream will come as time in the moon,"...that made no sense to me. I can tell it's an image you're trying to convey I just couldn't see it.

Overall, I loved the piece. I was really into it and sucked into the story and emotion within the poem, and then BAM the last stanza came and it was ruined for me lol. Great piece, just maybe need to re-work the last stanza. Just one girl's opinion though, you don't have to listen lol. :) Thank you very much for sharing this with me!!!

[Maumil Mehraj]

It's true that sometimes people get into arguments and their relationship becomes'inconsistent'
"Yet, there still lies this ancient love," this line literally stunned me, it was so beautiful and subtle.
what i loved most about this poem is the imagery, may i know ask how you think of it? jokes apart, you managed to make the reader connect with your work!
beautiful write
Maumil

[sereenaoutloud]

You can really feel this, your words literally make me feel the argument... that tug of war! Feels very raw!!
Love the song choice too! :)

[Brittany Zedalis]

I have my volume off right now, but as I was reading this, I was hoping to scroll down and see the very video you did indeed choose to attach, haha. And now that song is stuck in my head.

I love how personal this poem feels. The reader gets a real insight into the emotions. I very much enjoyed the last stanza. :)

[modtoddinc]

I appreciate that you were able to connect the music to the poem... Most often I write first and then think of something in a song to express my writing... its interesting to me. I have termed it Music Mythology. Thank you for sharing and reading.

~Peace, Todd

[Brittany Zedalis]

Music Mythology....that's a nice one. Haha.

[modtoddinc]

here's an idea... (I have done this numerous times with many different individuals) Pick your five favorite songs... read the lyrics... your mythology is exposed... it is you.

[modtoddinc]

through the music and the poetry of the lyrics we discover ourselves...

[dan]

Todd, This is a very cerebral write, an introspective look inside the protagonist's soul in an effort to take inventory of his fears, guilt, love and pain...and praying for the day when all is brightened and a new beginning takes shape and adjustments can be made in the basic order of all of these sentiments and attributes. A very well thought out piece, and very well versed. (Great accompanying music also!) take care...dan

[modtoddinc]

right on my friend, you read it as I wrote it... were you looking over my shoulder? :)

~peace, Todd

[dan]

No peeking, it looked to me as if I could have written something very similar. Except not nearly as good as yours. 8^) take care...dan

[wordman]

well todd it seems you poured out your heart in this write my friend

[modtoddinc]

a raw and intense write indeed, Thank you for reviewing.

~peace, Todd

[AaronFreitas]

Nice write Todd! This write is filled with good flow and rhythm... enjoyed it all the way through :)

[modtoddinc]

Gracious Amigo,

~peace, Todd