Sublime

Cannot help it…my eyes lock on beauty…

That is their design.

With a soul staring acutely

At this movie, tangled up in time.

 

Cannot stop it…this beating of my heart…

That is her design.

With an epee that was never sharp

Yet cut through all that was mine.

 

Cannot change it… the rhythm of my sighs…

That is their design.

Finding breath in the ocean of your eyes

Yet losing it when I see the sign

 

That the time has stopped.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

I'm impressed with your usage of the word epee. If you haven't fenced before I'm even more impressed.

The poem's fine, really well written. The theme is whatever.... kind of bland and sappy but that's just because it's not my taste. I can see fine craftsmanship in the writing though. I like it that very okay.

[Ana B.]

haha, well, thank you for your thoughts Hans :) and no, i have never fenced.

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful and sad flow of words leading to sad ending.
"Finding breath in the ocean of your eyes
Yet losing it when I see the sign
That the time has stopped."
The above lines. Left the reader with something to think about. Thank you Ana for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Ana B.]

Thank you very much dear John.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear Ana.

[hardeep sabharwal]

beautifully written, a profound work to read

[Ana B.]

Thank you :)

[sonnie ibadah]

well penned, enjoyed it ;)

[Ana B.]

Thank you :)

[SleeplessVolcano]

The beautiful flow from verse to verse suddenly halted in the truth of the last line.

Life does that to us, sometimes.

Beautifully written!

[Ana B.]

Thank you very much! :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like the use of sharpness in this...the different ways of acceptance that our heart has been taken by another...if love is strong enough...it does stop time...because love is infinite and eternal...

j.

[Ana B.]

Thank you for stopping by dear Jacob :)

[A hare off]

Stunning and the formatting, rhyme scheme was wonderful. The semi-repititive phrasing made this flow so smoothly. I like what this said. Really good.

[Ana B.]

Thank you very much ! You are very kind :)