Je te veux

A Poem by Ana B.

Breathing in your smell

Into my hungry lungs…

Making me melt

As we slow dance…

In the silence that surrounds us

Haunted by secret wishes…

Eyes that vividly discuss

Serving delicious kisses…

I don’t understand this language

Yet I know how to speak it…

Temptation savage

Enjoying a piece of resistance…

When fire with fire is playing

Who will get burn?

Flickers conveying

A point with no return…

© 2015 Ana B.

My Review

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Reviews

So sensual

are you the perfection of the romance :)

Posted 9 Years Ago

9 Years Ago

:) sweet!

Richard Guimond

Te quiero ! Je te veux! I want you ! Latins say; not love but lust, carnal desire, sheer possessinon of flesh and soul

Posted 9 Years Ago

9 Years Ago

i think love and lust should always go in pair.. thanks Richard.

9 Years Ago

I agree 100%

R Smith

nice work Ana, a steamy love story, you understand that language very well i think, playing the game and lighting the fire :)

Posted 9 Years Ago

9 Years Ago

as any woman should i think....thank you for the insight Richard :)

Coyote Poetry

A very nice read. I like the flow of thoughts and the fire create. Thank you Ana for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 9 Years Ago

9 Years Ago

Thank you for checking it out my friend :)

9 Years Ago

You are welcome dear Ana.

AaronFreitas

Another very enjoyable read Ana :) Beautiful flow to this poem... awesome work thanks for sharing :)

Posted 9 Years Ago

9 Years Ago

:D thank for reading Aaron.

Terrence Chang

Sens fantastique. Je adore sens tu. Pardon me for I am not soo good with French. But I wanted to try since I learnt some in my early days. All I wanted to say is that you are a great writer and and keep it up

Posted 9 Years Ago

9 Years Ago

lol, Merci beaucoup mon ami ! :)

9 Years Ago

vous êtes le bienvenu

Jamestown

I agree with James, lol:) everything he said I was going to say.
As always love the word choice and fluent rhythm, this format
was really creative as well, great job, thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

Posted 9 Years Ago

9 Years Ago

lol :) Thank you very much James :D

9 Years Ago

UR welcome:)

James Hanna-Magill

Dear Ana B.

I was directed to read you by another who need remain nameless, given their view of your merit.

With poetry I often use a fixed pattern of analysis followed by an emotional response.

I often review longer than most, but it is my way as it is theirs.

Let's deal with technique first:

1) Form: Four sets of quatrains. Steady shape.

2) Rhyme: You do follow one. but you vary it from quatrain to quatrain. First verse: No rhyme. Second verse: abab. Third verse: abcb. Four verse: abab like the second. There is much to be said for rhyme. It is often nice in my view to see a repeating pattern. But you use rhyme to your advantage in your own way.

3) Rhythm: There is no constant. But beats to the bar average about 7 from 4 to 9.

4) Shape on the page: What I do like here is the way in which you indent each verse to the right of the preceding verse. It's a version of what might be called 'concrete poetry' that is where the placing of the words on the page reflect the emotional content. There is a notion of slow dance here. The consistent movement of the verses on the page reflects that dance.

5) Metaphor, use of English, the five senses: I often cover these in reviews but normally of longer pieces. All I will say here is metaphor here is used effectively, English not complex and of the five senses you do all but taste as most of always forget: Sight - 'Eyes that vividly discuss'. 'Sound - 'In the silence that surrounds us. Smell - 'Breathing in your smell'. Touch - 'Serving delicious kisses' and as ever with most of us, no sense of 'taste'.

6) Meaning: I often like to understand the writer as well as the piece of writing as they are one. But here you have no profile and no comment on this piece. The only pointer is the title 'Je te veux' 'I want you.' As I am bilingual in French and English, that is why I chose this poem to review. It has a personal attraction for me in the title.

Writers write. Readers read. The poet may mean one thing but has no choice but to leave the reader to interpret in their own way, even if it has nothing to do with the writer's intention.

The meaning I extract from this, whether you intend it or not? The waltz of love. The slow beginning. The sensations as you know you are being dragged into a sensual relationship. Concern that it may lead to pain. Not having done this before. Instinctively we all know the language be it of sex or sentiment, whether we have done it or not before. And in the end there is a point you will walk away or walk straight into it and let go.

7) Favourite lines:

'Haunted by secret wishes…
Eyes that vividly discus
Serving delicious kisses… [metaphor]

'When fire with fire is playing
Who will get burn?
Flickers conveying
A point with no return…' [ impressive ending. Please note there is a 't' is missing from the end of 'burn']

8) Emotional impact: There is significant impact here for us all. Most will understand and feel I think like I do. If I give you my emotional reaction, I think it is described under 'meaning'

This has a flavour to me of one of the verses of Leonard Cohen's song 'Take this Waltz' and if you don't mind I will repeat the words here:

'Take this waltz, take this waltz
Take this waltz with the clamp on its jaws
I want you, I want you, I want you
On a chair with a dead magazine
In the cave at the tip of the lilly,
In some hallway where love's never been
On a bed where the moon has been sweating,
In a cry filled with footsteps and sand,

Underlying it are your two topics - dance and 'I want you' though his conclusions may be different.

9) Final words: An intriguing piece of verse which may have applied or may apply to all of our lives.

Well written.

James

Posted 9 Years Ago

Dear Ana B.

I was directed to read you by another who need remain nameless, given their view of your merit.

With poetry I often use a fixed pattern of analysis followed by an emotional response.

I often review longer than most, but it is my way as it is theirs.

Let's deal with technique first:

1) Form: Four sets of quatrains. Steady shape.

2) Rhyme: You do follow one. but you vary it from quatrain to quatrain. First verse: No rhyme. Second verse: abab. Third verse: abcb. Four verse: abab like the second. There is much to be said for rhyme. It is often nice in my view to see a repeating pattern. But you use rhyme to your advantage in your own way.

3) Rhythm: There is no constant. But beats to the bar average about 7 from 4 to 9.

4) Shape on the page: What I do like here is the way in which you indent each verse to the right of the preceding verse. It's a version of what might be called 'concrete poetry' that is where the placing of the words on the page reflect the emotional content. There is a notion of slow dance here. The consistent movement of the verses on the page reflects that dance.

5) Metaphor, use of English, the five senses: I often cover these in reviews but normally of longer pieces. All I will say here is metaphor here is used effectively, English not complex and of the five senses you do all but taste as most of always forget: Sight - 'Eyes that vividly discuss'. 'Sound - 'In the silence that surrounds us. Smell - 'Breathing in your smell'. Touch - 'Serving delicious kisses' and as ever with most of us, no sense of 'taste'.

6) Meaning: I often like to understand the writer as well as the piece of writing as they are one. But here you have no profile and no comment on this piece. The only pointer is the title 'Je te veux' 'I want you.' As I am bilingual in French and English, that is why I chose this poem to review. It has a personal attraction for me in the title.

Writers write. Readers read. The poet may mean one thing but has no choice but to leave the reader to interpret in their own way, even if it has nothing to do with the writer's intention.

The meaning I extract from this, whether you intend it or not? The waltz of love. The slow beginning. The sensations as you know you are being dragged into a sensual relationship. Concern that it may lead to pain. Not having done this before. Instinctively we all know the language be it of sex or sentiment, whether we have done it or not before. And in the end there is a point you will walk away or walk straight into it and let go.

7) Favourite lines:

'Haunted by secret wishes…
 Eyes that vividly discus
 Serving delicious kisses… [metaphor]

'When fire with fire is playing
Who will get burn?
Flickers conveying
A point with no return…' [ impressive ending. Please note there is a 't' is missing from the end of 'burn']

8) Emotional impact: There is significant impact here for us all. Most will understand and feel I think like I do. If I give you my emotional reaction, I think it is described under 'meaning'

This has a flavour to me of one of the verses of Leonard Cohen's song 'Take this Waltz' and if you don't mind I will repeat the words here:

'Take this waltz, take this waltz
Take this waltz with the clamp on its jaws
I want you, I want you, I want you
On a chair with a dead magazine
In the cave at the tip of the lilly,
In some hallway where love's never been
On a bed where the moon has been sweating,
In a cry filled with footsteps and sand,

Underlying it are your two topics - dance and 'I want you' though his conclusions may be different.

9) Final words: An intriguing piece of verse which may have applied or may apply to all of our lives.

Well written.

James

Rating /100