Matchless

Your tears are not salty enough…

They don’t touch me anyhow

Your dreams are too rough

Destroying the sense I found just about now.

Your love is the same…

Pure, sweet, but I’m not the receiver.

In this savage, mindless game

All the stakes are on the faith believer.

Your hope’s not good enough

Not for me.

My mind is corrupt

And will always be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Michael G. Smith]

You've captured the Ying and Yang of love perfectly.

[Ana B.]

Thank you Michael :)

[Carrie.]

It goes well until about the 4th line. The first two are ridiculously fantastic.

To me, "just about now" is wordy. Nearly would fit nicely and add alliteration to the piece.
I understand your point of view, with the rest of the poem--how it strives for simplicity and frankness--but I can see this undertow of anger that just needs a bit of cleaning up. You have a powerful voice, let that shine through.

All in all, I think it's a great start.

[Ana B.]

Thank you Carrie :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"Your tears are not salty enough…
They don’t touch me anyhow"

This is a superb write! Somewhat of a letdown for the person who'd hear this being said lol but I liked the straightforward tone in this. Lovely flow too!

Nicely penned 😊👍

[Ana B.]

Thank you YummaKay :-)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Umm it's yumna but you're welcome 😊

[Ana B.]

oh i'm sorry! :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

It's okay 😉😛

[aLittlePain]

Your words are often Matchless Ana! Your lines just fuse and flow into the next. Lovely quality to your work. R

[Ana B.]

Thank you very much Ray :)

[Abilash Uttama]

Nice idea, rhyme and flow is superb, liked it very much:)

[Ana B.]

Thank you very much!

[Lyndy]

This is a well written poem! I enjoyed it very much! :D

[Ana B.]

Thank you Lyndy!

[Chris]

Child-to-parent
man-to-woman-to-man
tween-to-the-world
world-to-everyone

We ARE invulnerable - til we aren't. Ever notice how a person's faith doesn't make them right - it's just how their minds ALWAYS think they are?

[Nene]

wow... What a coincidence to come across it now... You really gave words to my feelings.... I loved this poem... A very meaningfull work.. I understood the message by reading the first two lines.... They are my favourite.
'your tears are not salty enough'
'They don't touch me anyhow'

[Ana B.]

Thank you very much. You're very sweet!

[Prashant Rajput]

a MATCHLESS work..!!!!!!! my friend,what a superb writing...I was fully 'absorbed' in it from begining to the end.

[Ana B.]

Thank you for the lovely review :)

[Saddam]

Your love is the same…
Pure, sweet, but I’m not the receiver.

Beautiful write dear....
Sweet, and sour too....

[Ana B.]

Thank you for the sweet words dear :)

[Saddam]

Welcome dear.... It comes from your write.