A broken man

He lays in the reins

Amidst this frozen snow…

Liquid  fire in his veins

Yet nothing left to show.

 

Because  a grieving heart is a deaf one

Nothing ever goes through…

Nowhere left to run

Just tumbling around with no clue.

 

He just asked the dust to carry him

When the world goes to sleep

When the lights are getting dim

So no one will see these wounds are deep.

 

She keeps his heart in a flower vase

Loving the beautiful token

So many wished to be in his place

But only one remained to be - the broken

 

Reviews

[ANTO]

Wow, what a terrible picture you paint of this 'broken man' - a shell; afraid of the light, hiding from his shame - just surviving - better off as dust, no wonder he wants dust to carry him, he wants to be dust! The final stanza - the keeper of his being, his erstwhile love who regards him as and 'it'; as a trophy now to be displayed for her satisfaction. This is so gothic. I loved it.
:)

[Ana B.]

Well, this is one i haven't heard before )))))) thank sfo the insight my friend!

[Saddam]

When the lights are getting dim
So no one will see these wounds are deep.

Sad, miserable and scars are there. But literary a beautiful piece is that.

[Ana B.]

Thank you for the sweet review dear :)

[NoelHC]

A sad and meaningful write Ana, I have noticed your poems seem to be getting better and better. Well done.

[Ana B.]

Thank you Noel :) I'm very glad you stopped by....hope to be continuously progressing....

[Mayank]

this is one sad and profound piece, touche!

[Ana B.]

thank you :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the sadness in this is overwhelming, Ana....
jacob

[Ana B.]

yet I'm not so good at displaying happines through my words.....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

me either, Ana...
i think it is a poet's dilemma...we write sad much more easily than we write happy...what do they say? poets thrive on pain? perhaps that is true.

[Ana B.]

i do think its true.....because when one is happy, the last thing he wants to do is write.....

[Kristan A. Mohammed]

This is such a profound piece of work here. I love the essence of sorrow and solitude in this work. I also really like how you ended it by showing that she was the one holding his heart captive and as a trophy in a vase. I'll keep this in my library so that I can always come back and enjoy.

[Ana B.]

Thank you for the sweet words Kristian. Do hope you're not speaking from experience....because we women are strong, but shouldn't break men...

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Heartbreaking little piece.
Had much emotion and soul to it.
Quite deep i must say.
But i really enjoyed it nice rhyming to :)

[Ana B.]

Thank you Cimmy :) I'm very glad you liked it!

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

your welcome :)

[willweb]

This poem was stunning beautiful and a bit sad. Loved the rhyme in this Ana B.

[Ana B.]

Thank you very much for stopping by Will :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A deep and sad story in the poem.
"She keeps his heart in a flower vase
Loving the beautiful token
So many wished to be in his place
But only one remained to be - the broken"
Many places to rest. The broken people need a safe haven too. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Ana B.]

I'm glad you liked it John. Also the broken people....if not entirely broken, become much stronger than others.....

[katja]

"She keeps his heart in a flower vase"
that line is going to resonate in my thoughts for quite some time, such a striking visual edging towards a little macabre
*
the cadence of your words has a lovely lilt, making it so pleasant to read aloud

thank you for sharing your pen
~yekaterina

[Ana B.]

Thank you very much for stopping by Yekaterina :) I'm very pleased you liked it!