Love is Here to Stay

A little short story I had to write down while on a road trip

The lake was so calm and peaceful. No wind rippled this water, which seemed untouched by the gust that blew every now and again. A perfect mirror, looking almost solid as if I could walk on it and see everything reflected in it and all I would have to do is look down. Absorbed in the trance of the lake, I reach out to touch the surface, to see if it was solid. My fingers brush the surface sending shivers through the water, the illusion of a mirror disappearing. I watch as the ripples fade sinking back into that complete stillness.
“Casey?” I turn around to see you standing nearby in your complete perfection.

“Something so perfect can’t be real,” I think, “maybe he’s not really there.” You reach your hand out to help me up and for the briefest of seconds I hesitate, for fear if I touch you you would vanish. Then my hand slides into yours and it felt warm and so very real. My smile is wide as you pull me up.

“Why are you smilin’ so big for?”
“You didn’t disappear,” your brow wrinkles in confusion.
“Of course not..? Why on Earth would you think that?”
I laughed, “Because I have a wild imagination and because you’re so perfect you’re unreal.”
You blush at the compliment and open your mouth as if to say something else, but just let it go. I smile wider and squeeze your hand, happy you wouldn’t ever disappear.

Author's Note

Enjoy

Reviews

[WriterMe]

This was really good. Oh how I wish it were longer. The descriptions were so breathtaking. Excellent work.

[Kat]

That was really good. I enjoyed the imagery.

However, there's a few small nitpicks I have:

Absorbed in the trance of the lake

There should be a comma after Lake. It's the intro to the sentence so that's why it needs a comma.

My smile is wide as I stand.

This seems to come out of nowhere a little. Just pointing that out.

"Of course not..?

This looks kind of weird to me. I'd suggest staking out the dots and question mark and just having a period.

Another thing that bothered me was the tenses. You used mainly presently but you switched to past a few times, like in the third to last sentence and last sentence. Watch for that. :)

Happy writing. :)

-Kat