Promises

nothing much

Promises, Promises

So easily do they fall from lips.

I haven't the strength

for this promise to slip.

So, I pray you did not lie

when you said forever.

Because I can't survive

if we aren't together.

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Sad when I wrote this. I hope you enjoy.

Reviews

[Freedom]

This is a wonderful little poem. So short, but so packed with significance.

Promises Promises

--I think you should have a comma after the first one.

So easily do they fall from lips

I haven't the strength

for this promise to slip

---You have no idea how much I love this line.

So, I pray you do not

go back on what you said

---For the sake of flow, perhaps instead of 'go back on' you should say, 'take back.'

for otherwise my hope for true love

---and for the same reason, perhaps you should stay simple and just say 'or' instead of 'for otherwise.'

will finally be dead

---I don't know how attached you are to this closing line, but I don't feel that it does the poem justice. I think it could be revised somehow..perhaps, 'will find itself dead,' or something of that nature. Originality in the last line will truly bring the poem together.

Great writing, really. I love how much it means with so few words. Oh, and you should have a period at the end.

[Tate Morgan]

This is sweet and I think we all wish the other were as kind as our poets hearts are.

[Coyote Poetry]

The flow of your words and the poem is perfect. A excellent poem. We have only our word. If we can't be trusted. Few people will desire our company.
Coyote

[qaralynn]

love it..great work

[Manie]

This really is a short poem that speaks so many words. So much we can learn from this. First of all, promises are easy to make, but not always easy to keep. It's just words coming from another's lips and now we have to trust those words. I guess the POWER of a promise depends the NATURE of the person who spoke it. So, yes, you describe this beautifully in your second line - "So easily do they fall from lips".

Then you reveal a part of yourself and open up your heart in lines 3, 4, 7 and 8. First of all you reveal that you are fragile and vulnerable when it comes to another keeping his promises to you. But, in this, you also reveal that you take promises seriously. To you, it is not a small matter. That is why it will hurt so much if the promise is broken.

This was very well written and so much said in such few lines. I loved it!

Well done!