Chapter Two: Jessica LeeA Chapter by Friend of a FriendChapter Two: Jessica Lee Kelly wasn’t like her other friends. Jessica didn’t know why, it wasn’t something you could exactly put your finger on. It was like trying to remember a dream. You would be standing there, your fingers poised, ready to recount what you know was the most fantastical tale and then it would slip away, like her special shell down the drain, the day she had tried to wash it. There was just something else there in Kelly, or maybe something that was missing. Someone pokes Jessica in the back, hard. She looks up from the picture she was colouring. Kyla, the most popular girl in all of Miss. Kennedy’s morning kindergarten class is standing behind her, her hands on her hips “Kyla?” “I thought you promised you were going to sit beside me at colouring time today, Jessica. I thought you were my friend.” Jessica looks guiltily over her shoulder to Kelly sitting beside her, colouring a picture of a kitten in a cloud of purple and orange streaks. Kelly’s mouth moves, opening and closing like she is eating. It looks awfully weird. Another poke in the back.“She’s a freak, look how ugly that kitten is! If you’d rather sit by her than me then you’ll never be my friend again.” Jessica glances again at Kelly. The night before, when the her family had gone over to the Grey’s house to celebrate Wallace’s birthday, she had spent hours with Kelly in Kelly’s room drawing whole series of pictures together, Kelly had said that she couldn’t what to get back to it the next day at colouring time. Jessica looks back at Kyla. On her feet are the shoes Jessica had begged Mommy to buy her but Mommy had said no, they were too expensive. Another look at Kelly; her mouth is still dancing, it’s like an excited puppy, it won’t stop moving. With the biggest sigh that a five year old child can possibly make, Jessica gets up, gathers her crayons and paper and walks over to Kyla’s table. Kyla giggles and shows her the new scented pens Kyla’s Daddy bought her. That night at dinner Jessica asks “Mommy, what’s wrong with Kelly?”Her mother quickly puts down the salad tongs. “Absolutely nothing, what makes you say that, dear?” “Kyla says she’s a freak.” “I’m going to call Kyla’s mom and have a good talk with her.” “Also, Kelly moves her mouth all the time. It looks like she’s eating, but she’s not.” Diane Lee looks in her daughter’s eyes. She is so young. Why does she even know what ‘freak’ means? She looks so worried. What does she have to worry about? Did I ever worry when I was that age? Diane tries to remember. I don’t remember worrying, but I don’t remember not worrying either. “Jessica, Kelly is perfectly normal. Valerie of all people would know if there was something wrong.” Eight years later Jessica will remember that day, that scene at colouring time, as a sick emblem of Kelly and Jessica’s friendship. Jessica will be lying on her bed and gazing at a massive version of Clay Karr’s rugged chin, on the poster taped to her ceiling. Clay Karr will be the latest movie star. He will be the most popular, the most cool and the most hot. Every girl in Jessica’s class will be in love with Clay Karr. They will all watch his movies and wear all his fashions and each and every one of them will have this same poster in their room. Jessica will also be in love with Clay. She will have pictures of him taped up in her locker. She will write about him in her diary. She will have dreams of marrying him and of kissing his heavenly lips. Jessica will not know why. She will not particularly like his movies, although she will watch them over and over, and she will not find him particularly attractive, even though hours of her life will be devoted to that perfect dimple. Everyone who is anyone will love Clay, and Jessica wants to be someone so she will love him too. It will be that as she is contemplating that sculpted jaw line that Jessica will remember that day in kindergarten. Here is what she will think: Nothing has changed. Kelly’s still as weird today as she was that day we were five. I know for a fact Kelly doesn’t love Clay Karr. She hasn’t even watched all his movies. She’s the only person I know who is like that. It’s probably because of her so-called ‘fifth sense’. I was right, she is a freak. She must be a freak, because she sure as hell isn’t normal. Jessica will also remember the day Kelly first started making up that stuff about a “fifth sense.” At that point, Jessica had still been close to her and had pretended to believe it. Or maybe she actually believed it and now pretends not to believe it. With something so absolutely bizarre and unverifiable, it’s hard to separate truth from lie. Jessica herself isn’t entirely sure. But she does remember the day she first was confronted with it. It was before the day at kindergarten. They were only four years old, still too young for school but eagerly waiting for it and their families were at the lake together. It was warm out but not hot and Jessica guesses that it was probably springtime, around April, because she distinctly remembers collecting all different sorts of flower petals for a fairy house she and Kelly were making together. The two of them were sitting at the base of the tree they had chosen (an arbutus, because that, of course, is the tree fairies like best) and they were collecting moss for the fairy’s bed. Far away, down by the shore, Jessica could see her older sisters, Leslie and Stephanie with Catrina sprawled on the picnic blanket reading Dear Canada books. Kelly’s older brother, Jeremy, was practicing his skateboarding in the parking lot. The parents were chatting and eating crackers with Gorgonzola cheese and olive tapenade. Jessica, crouching on the ground, could smell the fresh damp dirt. It was a perfect spring day. Jessica loved spring, it meant her birthday was coming up. Suddenly there was a gentle tapping on her shoulder. She looked up and saw Kelly’s big eyes, dark and serious. “I have a secret.” “What is it?” “Promise you won’t tell?” “Promise.” “I can feel stuff other people can’t feel.” “What stuff?” “Stuff birds and other animals can do that humans can’t.” “Liar.” “It’s true.” “Prove it.” Kelly went back to her moss collecting. Later they talked about it more and Kelly said it happened when things move and hit other things or when birds open their beaks. But Jessica won’t remember the rest of the conversations. She will just remember the smell of spring and the peace at the lake and that little brat ruining it with her lies. Or maybe Jessica had believed her and they hadn’t been lies and the day hadn’t been ruined. But that’s the problem with things like memories. You save them for a long time and if, during that time, someone spills coffee on them, it’s hard to know what they looked like before the incident. Jessica will feel feet in the hallway and then her door will open. She will look up. It will be her mother, who will be wearing an ugly purple shirt with flowers on it. Is it actually ugly? Jessica will remember loving it and begging her mother to borrow it for school one day. She had finally gotten to wear it to school but as soon as Kyla saw it she said “Is it Halloween? Are you dressed up as my grandmother’s upholstery?” And so Jessica covered it up with her Aero Postale hoodie for the rest of the day. It was June and Jessica felt like she was being smothered by an electric blanket, it was so hot, but she never even let the zipper down an inch. When she got home she took her hoodie off and show it to her poster of Clay Karr. She knew he wouldn’t like it either. Jessica will look back at her mom. Definitely ugly. “Are you busy honey?” Her mother will ask “I need someone to set the table.” “Oh I’m not doing anything important. I’ll be right down.” Jessica will stop remembering. © 2011 Friend of a FriendAuthor's Note
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Added on March 19, 2011 Last Updated on March 20, 2011 Tags: Jessica Lee, Memories, Remembering, childhood, regret, peer pressure Previous Versions AuthorFriend of a FriendCanadaAboutI love to write and a couple years ago a friend of mine who has his own little publishing company helped me publish a little collection of modern faerie tales I had written. After that I kind of took .. more..Writing
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