Which Microsoft Office Application Are You?

a short story about the world of facebook..narrated in a funny tone..hope u like it.

Which Microsoft Office Application Are You?

She swept the room with a quick glance and saw it was full of people around her age in mid twenties. She sat there silent as the chattering noise filled the space around. Checking them slowly, she saw some sitting in a circle of their own talking and laughing, some others standing close to the door and leaning on the wall anxiously, while few walked back and forth across the room talking to themselves.

Few minutes later, a man in his fifties with a sophisticated look rushed in. He hurried across the room smiling at the crowd and pushing back his glasses. The moment he walked in, the chattering died down and everybody found themselves chairs quickly. The chairs were arranged in a circle so everybody could see the rest of the group.
He sat in the middle of the circle and looked around hastily. "Ok everybody" He said "let's start our meeting". He moved the glasses down his nose a little and looked around checking them.
"Ok...We will start with..mm ..you" he said, looking at her.

She stirred in her chair, and opened her mouth dumfounded. She thought she’d just listen to their own stories, and has not thought of what to share. She looked around shyly and tried to put a smile and said:
"Hi..um..My name is Marwa".
"Hi Marwa" the crowd greeted her back.

"Well..what can I say..It's been 4 days now since I've last checked my facebook account". A loud applause burst from the crowd and the chattering noise rose again. People gasped, turned to each others with unbelieving looks whispering phrases of "she must have no friends", "may be she forgot her password", “you mean someone hit her on the head and so forgot it?” and other phrases of "how did she do that" "I'm telling you..this girl is just so strong"

He moved his hands across the room quieting them down: "Guys..guys..let's not judge before we hear the story first..please.. quiet. Ok Marwa, tell us the story" He pushed back the glasses.

She looked around checking the unbelieving stares and not knowing what to say, managed to continue:
"Well..it all started more than a year ago When somebody sent me an invitation. I thought it was so cool.

I used to spent few minutes there every now and then..until one day I discovered the world underneath. There was so much fun in there and I spent hours and hours checking this world. I joined dozens of groups that I never visited, I solved dozens of quizzes with absurd results, I’ve turned into a vampire, and most excitingly I become a fan of Samira Sa3eed ..

I added an application after the other and a quiz after the other and I gotta tell you I was so excited there is a way I can know and let others know which movie I represent in life. (Her eyes shining with excitement and people agreeing noisily)

And as my life flew by, I started to have my first depressing moments with Facebook. I mean..I was so excited to know which Hollywood Celebrity I can be, but my hopes were shattered when I turned out to be Nicole Kidman (people gasped). I think she's a little bit taller than me, and I always wanted to be Meg Ryan.
My frustration was complete when I finished the "which finding Nemo character are you" and came out to be Crush the turtle, I just know I'm not that dude because I've always loved Dory and thought we are similar.

My depression increased more and more every day. I tried to reduce the doze of the applications, but nothing worked. You see..I had the top friends application..and I found out that I add people as top friends, BUT THEY NEVER ADD ME. Why won't they add me?!! (Sobbing)I've always been a good friend. And even after they've added me..they wouldn't remember to send me a drink once in a while (people shaking their head in compassion). But I must say that few people would send me gifts from time to time, I just wished I had more Chocolate gifts.

And I've always wanted to know what kind of chocolate I am (She narrowed her eyes and everybody nodded understandingly). I was so much depressed to know I'm light chocolate as I've always assumed I'm white chocolate.

I spent a long time checking others' pictures and it was so good until I came across those pictures of somebody's toes. I thought maybe she was kneeling down and it just happened by mere accident, but her next pictures of 3'ata 7ala and next of 3amood noor left no doubt of what people out there are capable of doing while I'm sitting here doing nothing.

I couldn't take it anymore, I realized my life was slipping away and it's now or never. I had to decide fast to save my life. So I decided not to check my profile every few hours anymore. I decided I have a life and I have to live it. And I'm saying to all of you facebookholics, if I did it you CAN DO IT TOO" A loud uproar of applause and whistling came from the crowd. People got inspired all over the place. They looked at her with admiration and assuring smiles while tears were rolling down their cheeks.

She sat back in her chair glad she finished the story when a guy in a uniform came in:

"I have a message for a Marwa Nasser, you mom was trying to call you but your cell is off. She said somebody from the DSL Company called to apologize for the internet cut off for the last four days and said it's up and running now."

Marwa sank in her chair deafened by the silence of the patients.
"Well what can I say. You guys keep trying, I gotta go now; I have a ..personality quiz to solve" She leaped out of her chair and darted to the door.

(I am Word)

Marwa Nasser
 

Reviews

[Marianne]

Marwa ...
I just can't believe what I've read. Girl you are GENIUS. I like the story so much. First of all you did a misleading part in the title, you will make the audience think they are gonna read technical stuff or some jokes but it was all about face book.
You criticized face book in a genius way, you didn't criticized face book users you just criticized the way they use it in a funny and realistic way.
And the end ... Oh God it was hilarious, really hilarious.