Doors

I find myself walking down an endless hallway. This hallway doesn’t have many doors, just a few, but when they come it’s usually in pairs. Every time I pick a door I’m in a new hallway, each time it looks different but really its just the same. The hallway seems nice but the doors, they are horrifying and terrible. With each new door looms the shadow of a door long gone. Sometimes it’s the shadow of one or two old doors and sometimes it’s the shadow of every door from my past. Its these doors that I dread because I cannot pass these doors up as I do others. I must walk through and be reminded of the darkness of these doors, their unforgiveness. I am forced to remember that I can never go back through a door, I must embrace it. Oh how I hate them, I loathe them. All the regret and sorrow from my past follows me behind every twisted door knob. Then there are the doors that are left wide open, when I peer into these doors there is a warm fire burning in a fireplace and It is so inviting, but I know these aren’t for me, they are so inviting though, I hate them too. It would be so easy to just walk right in and enjoy the warmth from the fire, but I know these doors aren’t for me to pass through, they are left open for someone else; perhaps they are meant to distract me. Sometimes its all I can do to not give in. When I see them coming I try to shut my eyes and keep walking but the cracking fire draws my attention, the smell of the fire fills my nose, these doors are not for me, they aren’t for me. Instead I am fated to these ill mannered doors that mock my very existence. Every ungreased hinge laughs in my face as I open the door; but I always will, open them that is. Because it’s who I am, just as hatred and malice  seem to be engraved into every grain of these doors, so is perseverance is engrained  into my fiber, my core, my heart. I will…