Chapter 2

Chapter 2

            I woke up with tear stains sticky on my face. Part of me hoped that the previous day was just a bad dream. That is what it seemed like to me. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed like a nightmare. If it was real, how did I get to my apartment from the hospital? I thought that I had fallen asleep there. While thinking about the hospital, I realized I was late.

“Oh crap!”

            I rushed to get ready. When I was grabbing my phone to call the hospital, I noticed a voicemail message from earlier that morning. It was from one of the other nurses, Jess.

“Good morning, Kristen. I hope you got some decent sleep. You had fallen asleep here last night. Another nurse and I drove you back to your apartment. You seemed pretty upset yesterday. I can imagine why. Just so you know, no one is expecting you to come to work today. Don’t worry about it. Take the day off to recover, okay. I’ll drop by after my shift to check on you. Bye.”

            My heart sank in my chest. That message proves that it wasn’t a dream. Mckenzie really was dead. No. Why? Why couldn’t it have been a dream.

            Not knowing how else to deal with it, I curled back up on my bed and fell back asleep.

            Later that day, I woke up to the sound of my door opening and closing. I guessed that it was probably Jess.

“Kristen? Are you awake?”

“Yeah, come in, make yourself at home. I’ll be there in a sec.”

I got up and put on a sweater. My face in the mirror wasn’t a very good picture. You could see the dry tear stains along with dark circles under my eyes. My blonde hair was an absolute mess. It would take a rake to brush through that. So, I pulled it up in a messy bun and washed my face to at least look somewhat like I hadn’t been sleeping for the whole day.

            I walked over to join Jess on the couch. She must have come straight from the hospital because she was still in her scrubs. I sit down and hug my knees so I’m curled up like a ball.

“Oh my, you look terrible,” Jess said.

“Thanks.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. Sorry. How are you doing?”

“I feel miserable.”

“I understand. I remember what it felt like the first time I couldn’t save one of my patients. You seemed really close to your patient, too.”

I was starting to get mad. I didn’t like that she was just calling Mckenzie a patient. She was more than a patient, she was a person.

“Her name was Mckenzie.”

“Come again?”

“She wasn’t just my patient, I felt like she was my daughter. Her name was Mckenzie.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. You seemed really close to Mckenzie. It’s terrible that she died like that, so young.”

Tears started to run down my face again. I still couldn’t accept that she was dead. Jess gave me a sympathetic look.

“You must be starving. How bout I order us some Chinese food and we can talk some more while we’re eating.”

She got up and took out her phone. After she mentioned it, I realized that I was really hungry. It had been an entire day since I ate anything.

            About half-an-hour later, our food arrived. It felt good to eat something warm with steam rising from the box. I wish eating it would warm up my soul a little. Make me less sad. Maybe my fortune will be something nice. An amazing experience is in your future. Be prepared for it. Your lucky number is 42. Great. How can anything amazing be in my future? I hate fortune cookies, they never make sense.

            After we were done eating, Jess cleaned up the table and washed some dishes for me. It was sweet of her but she probably just feels sorry for me. Why wouldn’t she, I’m a mess. When she comes back over she has a grim look on her face.

“So, here’s what I came over here to talk to you about. The hospital has decided to pay for a funeral for Mckenzie. If possible, they want to have it this weekend. I know it is only a couple of days away, but, they want you to find a pastor to speak at the funeral. They know that she talked to you the most. They also want to know more about her. Do you know anything more? They don’t even have her last name to put on a tombstone.”

“I don’t think she has a last name. She doesn’t remember her family. Do you think you could do me a favor? Could you ask them to put my last name as her last name on the tombstone? I wanted to adopt her if she recovered, but, I never got the chance.”

“Mckenzie Keller. It has a nice sound to it. I’ll ask for them to do that.”

“Thank you so much, Jess. And don’t worry, I’ll find a pastor. I know of one that Mckenzie really looked up to.”

“That’s great. I’ll let the hospital know that you’re on the job. I guess I should get going now. Do you need anything else before I go?”

“Yeah, do you know when they’re expecting me back at work?”

“Oh yeah, about that, they want you to wait until the funeral is over and then see if you are up to it or not.”

“Okay, I understand. Thanks for stopping by.”

“No problem, I’ll see you later. Bye.”

            Then I was all alone in my apartment again. It was nice having someone over so I didn’t feel so overwhelmingly sad. Now that I’m alone, it feels so much more hopeless. Since it was getting late, I went back to curling up in bed and cried myself to sleep once again. I’ll worry about finding Pastor Shepherd tomorrow morning.