If This Is The End of The World

A letter I wrote on December 20, 2012.

If this is the end of the world I have many regrets. My biggest is not getting to see those of you who I care for so much, those of you who meant so much to me when I was a child. Time and distance has separated us and the thought that we had time only blinded us. If this is the end, I am telling you that I love you, forever.

If This is the end of the world, I'm leaving it lonely. Time, it's all my heart had on it's side. If that isn't true than I am doomed for sure. So relationships I threw away because I wanted to focus on my future, instead I could die in peace, with joy, and with my soul-mate. It would have been a blessing to hear another person heartbeat as mine slowly faded, to hold hands til they grew cold and blue or burned together in the fire as it falls from the sky. Now death says it can't be and I will forever be lonely and denied of ever feeling true love.

If this is the end of the world then I have left it broke. The end will ease the pain of failure if that was my fortune but if it wasn't I would be missing out on everything I deserve, for I have never had anything. My dreams all coming true wasn't a dream at all but a leap and soon enough I would make that jump. The feeling of success must feel so good, but if this is the end of the world, I will never know.

If this is the end of the world, I am leaving happy. Nothing ever mattered more than my friends and my family, You guys were always there. If this is the end, at least we know we spent priceless moments together and now all of that seems so valuable and not a second was wasted, not even on the arguments, we found a way to jump through the burning loops of life. We lived together and we will die just the same. Hand in hand, heart to heart, we shall rise to a better place and look down as our world heals itself and promises a tomorrow somehow, for someone.

WITH LOVE
Brian Anderson