The Last Place We Were

Across the street near the convenience store 

where we first noticed the peculiar man smiling 

with coffee-stained dentures 

who always buys his newspapers 

from Ron's brother down at the 7-11 

on Bonita Street where last summer 

one car flipped over the other; 

God let the drunk man live 

and took the scholar instead 

and we both agreed it made more sense 

'cause only the good make it to Heaven 

while the rest stay down here 

with you and me in Woodrow Park 

where one time you left the car running 

and made love to me 

in the back seat of your '89 Le Manz      

until the officer shone her flashlight through 

onto our hot faces, 

so we drove elsewhere 

to the neighborhood where we first met 

and you were still sober 

until the summer of '07

when your car flipped over the other 

and God let you live.

Reviews

[Phunkadelique]

"...and we both agreed it made more sense
'cause only the good make it to Heaven
while the rest stay down here
with you and me"

"...your car flipped over the other
and God let you live."

those lines are dope!! (not to say the rest weren't, but..yeah you know what i mean) Perhaps not what you were trying to convey..but the personal meaning i got out of it was a Hell on Earth type thing; in questioning why certain things happen the way they do, it seems you find your answer. I can dig it!

[Bare trees]

The longest sentence I've ever read. LOL Interesting though. Why is it the drunks always live and the good guys always die huh? Good poem, It makes you wonder what happened to Mrs. Nole's daughter. I hope she didn't die in the back of an 89 le manz. Ha

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

Oh .... I love it :) ... beautiful written , a fresh style , like a flashback of memories , simple , but so beautiful , Yossi

[Ramiz Ilham Khan]

Its really like a couple of photographs with captions. Life is ..

[Luxovious Sloane]

it kept me going and going and reading and reading, and I liked the concept. it was an interesting read.

[KL]

I LOVED this. It says so much about life in such a short stanza, and the stream of consciousness-esque writing makes the next line just as much a mystery, so when you actually do read something dark (albeit real) you can't help but realize how powerful it is.

You successfully mixed up the black and white of our existence: death, love, and everything in between. I'm fav-fav-fav-favouriting this.

[alan khan]

i really like how it just kept going, kept me reading, and made me actually not like the shortness. great job. i liked this.