In the Distant Memory Lies

A Story by Missy Moooooo

In the distant memory lies; Isabella White, down on her knees. Though she was about to burst into tears, she remembers their love together. She remembers the years the love of her life was there. But now he’s gone, there is no way that she can stand in front of the crowd and explain her love for him. Why hadn’t he asked if his wife that he left her for, to talk? Why had he left her? On her knees Isabella cries out “Why!? Why couldn’t you just have left me alone? What did you choose me to be your first wife for anyway?”

Isabella had been married to Richard for five years, to Isabella it was the absolute best five years ever, they had children, and even then they were still madly in love. Things never showed time for fights, they were so busy. He never left for work without a kiss, many times she’d make him late for work. What happened? The love was purest to Isabella. Things just changed, he moved on had a few more children and left you all by yourself. Isabella thought to herself.

It was hard to see the looks on their faces when she told them that their worthless father that they once had loved died. No one told Isabella how he died, no one told Isabella there was a chance that he loved her too.

“Momma?” Her oldest daughter tapped her on her leg, she was seven years old, and innocence was surrounding her like a sweet essence of a fragrance. It broke her heart to have to tell her three children that their father was never ever going to be coming back around, but Isabella had to. She knew that they were over the fact that he was never there, but he was still their father. Even if he gave up on their marriage, he gave her these three innocent beautiful children. All girls, ages seven, six and two.

“Charlotte, go get Missy and I will get Elise. I need to talk to you girls.” She kissed her daughter on the forehead. Isabella was a mother who worked and still took care of her babies, whom were her world. Isabella owned a successful bakery, which she had closed early for the day. Charlotte ran off to get her little sister, as Isabella sat there pondering her life and the love she had with Richard. “Why did you have to go and leave me? Why?” She let a tear fall and her heart continued to break, she knew this was the start of all of the pain and hardships forming again. She headed inside and decided it was best to grab a box of tissues. If anyone of the daughters do not remember who Richard was, her heart will break even more. She made sure to remind them that they were going to the funeral tomorrow. She grabbed her daughter Elise out of the play area, Elise was one of the most silent four year old's ever known. Isabella just laid there remembering her father- Ryan White- give her away to Richard. He trusted Richard, how could he not? He was a very trustful man. Remembering how he made her feel made her break even more in the inside. Two years ago…two years ago he and I had our names written on a cloud. I loved him, I still do. Forever and ever I will. Isabella thought. I loved him.

“Momma I got Missy.” Little Charlotte smiled up at her mother without a care in the world that her mommy had tears rolling down her eyes. Charlotte hadn’t even known what ‘death’ meant. Soon, she will understand that death means you’ll never see them again. The truth is that she will never see her daddy anymore. After a little bit of self calming down, Isabella decided to tell her children what happened, that their father is dead. Little Charlotte cried and ran to her room. She hadn’t ever thought about Charlotte's life without her daddy. From birth till now, she was daddy’s little girl.

Sometimes Isabella thinks that the split was harder on Charlotte then it was on Isabella. But only Isabella knew that this was not true, that she had been depressed. That it was not healthy. Isabella had to further explain to Missy and Elise that it meant that she’d never see Richard ever again. Missy began to ask questions about who this guy named ‘daddy’ was. This broke Isabella's heart, but she constantly reminded herself that it was not she who gave up on the marriage, but he did.

Regardless of who gave up on who, Isabella hoped they knew about their father and was as broken as Charlotte and herself were. “You girls need to go to the funeral, he was your father.” She reminded them, trying to talk herself into talking in front of everyone. Richard knew a lot of people, so therefore it was difficult to explain who was going to be there and who was not. She knew that his new wife and his children would be there too. To Isabella it was too much to handle, and she could not deal with it.

When the next morning came she reminded herself that she could say “no.” But she out of everyone else knew that this was a lie. That she had to be there because she was married to him, because she loved him. And she still loves him to this day. How could she get up there in front of his new family and explain how he made her feel? “The hell with it, I will tell the entire congregation the truth. What I’m feeling inside currently and the crap he put me through the past two years.” She said to herself, but not wanting to admit the truth to anyone.

“I met Richard in my sophomore year of High School, he was the best guy ever. He made me fall in love with him right away. “A gentleman” I remember my dad calling him. I told my dad that I would drop everything to be with him. I remember the sounds of his angry voice yelling at me. Richard was that dependable guy, the one everyone counted on. From the start we were inseparable, he was the love of my life. I married him right out of high school, pregnant with my beautiful Charlotte, he went on to College. I followed him and made dreams come true along the way, he taught me things about myself that I never knew. After a while, I realized I had three kids and an amazing husband. He thought otherwise, and left me and had made me feel so alone. I am so lost without him, since I was a sophomore in High School I always had him to turn to. I never felt that anything was wrong, and I never will understand. I...I have no idea why I am still up here, we were separating. The divorce was to be finalized next week, I gave him 9 years of my life and of my love all he gives me is the chance to talk about him at his funeral. But the thing is, at funerals we're not supposed to hate; we're supposed to talk about the pure happiness we had with him. But the question is, was the happiness I felt with him the same feelings for him? I was the happiest with him, I would always smile and care about my life. Without him, the only thing that's keeping me going is my girls. The same girls that he gave me and that look a hundred percent like him. Looking into their eyes reminds me of how he would stare at me in complete happiness, and love. Those love filled eyes. Richard, what happened?" Isabella cried and walked back to her seat next to her girls. Richards mom was next to Missy crying.

"I have no idea why he left you Isa." she looked at Isabella in complete sorrow "We told him each day until he left us that he was wrong. And it was unfair."

"He never told me why." She looked down at her feet.

"He did not want the girls to see the Cancer waste him away." Sharey stared directly into Isabellas eyes and instantly Isabella cried. For two years he had Cancer and left me, made me think he had another girl and a child on the way. But he was looking out for the girls. This broke Isabellas heart and she ran out of the funeral home. Discussed that he never told her that he had Cancer and was dying. Isabella would have cared for him, she would have waited on him hand and foot. She cannot believe he'd just leave her living a complete lie.