I Smiled

A poem i wrote in my dark moments battling with depression. It's about not fitting in.

Once i ws alone

and i didn't have to hear the voices pleading,

i didn't see the bodies hanging from the lampposts

i didn't feel the burning holes their eyes left as they stared at me

all there was, was that overwhelming darkness

after you soul has rotted away

and i smiled

i smiled till my muscles ached and i barely had the strength to keep my eyes open

i smiled as the years passed, with no real hint of time

but then as the rose petals started to wilt,

i opened my eyes,

to find a world i thought i escaped

and as i felt a mask be pushed upon my face

they came rushing forward, the memories i had run from

i was surrounded by figures draped in colours

with masks depicting the emotions they cherished

they whirled a round me

catching me up in their jovial facade

as i struggled to keep the fear out of my eyes

i felt my mask slipping, slipping

and as it fell to the floor, smashing in two

i realized i could never go back

as the two halves of the mask stared up at me

with it's mocking grin

i bought my foot down upon it

shattering into pieces

the demons all stopped to watch me

willing me to smile, to play their game a little longer

but i turned away from these companions of mine

i let my smile follow the trail forged by the mask

as i fell and smashed

it went quiet  for all of a second

before they all turned on me, devouring me,

and i was alone,

so i smiled