picking up shards

 

the waitress at the table next to me drops a stack of plates and it shatters everything 

 

patrons clap and whistle, offer the required jabs as she kneels to the floor and begins to pick up the shards

 

the first quietly falls into her apron—a large piece—we seem to always start with the large pieces, don’t we?—and it makes no sound, not even a whisper as it’s transported from the unforgiving floor to the gentle, sweeping slope of the waitress’s outstretched apron 

 

so quiet

 

watching her, I know the other pieces will not be so quiet when they reach their destination and, of course, I’m right 

 

the scrape and clink and clatter of shards of china falling onto each other in a woman’s apron is a sound we know, even if we can’t place it; it’s the sound of things constantly finishing and continuing on; that scraping is the dog wanting out again; that clinking is ice in a too-quickly-emptied whiskey glass; that clattering is the child in us pleading, constantly pleading

 

but even this noise—this echoing brokenness—is magic. wholeness is reflected in brokenness—if one looks…or listens

 

the wholeness of a thing that, having served its purpose fully, simply lets go, doesn’t wait for you or I to say, “well, that was the last meal for that plate”, it just finishes in its own time, and with the scrape and clink and clatter of a child laughing at the morning sun, leaps onto an unforgiving floor and shatters everything.

 

and, picking up the shards, we touch over and over the memory of wholeness

Reviews

[Blackbirdsong]

True musicians hear music everywhere they go while the rest of us walk along thinking its nothing. The same can be said of artist and poets of course. We experience life on a different level than most. This poem exemplies that in a wonderfully, powerful and stirring way. This event probably happened and I can imagine you sitting there watching this whole scene and this poem was born in that moment.

This stanza just knocked it out of the ballpark for me -

"the scrape and clink and clatter of shards of china falling onto each other in a woman's apron is a sound we know�even if we can't place it�.it's the sound of things constantly finishing and continuing on�.that scraping is the dog wanting out again�.that clinking is ice in a too-quickly-emptied whiskey glass�.that clattering is the child in us pleading�constantly pleading"

And then this -

"but even this noise-this echoing brokenness-is magic�

wholeness is reflected in brokenness-if one looks�or listens
the wholeness of a thing that, having served its purpose fully, simply lets go�doesn't wait for you or I to say, "well, that was the last meal for that plate."�. it just finishes in its own time, and with the scrape and clink and clatter of a child laughing at the morning sun, leaps onto an unforgiving floor and shatters everything
and, picking up the shards, we touch over and over the memory of wholeness"

Okay to sum up this review I just have to say the next time I break something I will think of you and this poem and I will smile at the thought of such beauty coming from something as common as shards of broken
china.

Bravo!

[Mark Pearce]

A philosophic gem.

[Forest Green]

Very nice development of a life-lesson from a very seemingly mundane event. Poetry at work I'd say.


Excellent.

Forest

[Phil Sanders]

Superbly written .. you take us into the poem and live it with you ...

[An Ordinary Woman]

Remarkable writing. just absolutely remarkable, the depth and perception hears is so much more than meets the eye at first read. This is wonderful! The things you added along the way, about the dog wanting out, the child in us pleading is what really did it for me. Amazing!

[Nameless]

that's beautiful. the end "picking up the shards, we touch over and over the memory of wholeness" brings the whole poem into focus, on this infinitesimal incident reflecting so much more. it's like you zoomed in on the waitress picking up shards and found there so much more that would have gone overlooked. and "well, that was the last meal for that plate" is a funny touch, as well as the idea of the plate leaping onto the floor, rather than falling against it. i really like this.

[A.J. Smith]

Beautiful. Your last line is masterful, and you built toward it, through your theme, so wonderfully. What an awesomely imaginative piece you're written.

[Robert Luna]

This was so vivid and alluring. you where able to give a life lesson among your beautiful flowing words. We tend to focus on the large pieces of our problem and just worry about sweeping up the leftover and not really checking to see if we have gotten to them all. I liked this piece and thought you had done a amazing job with the flow and story like quality of it.

Well DOne!!!!!!

[Emily B]

Brilliantly written. The big questions found in the clatter of everyday life. I'm so glad I found my way here.

[Gandré]

This was a smart write, and a true one. you give us eloquently the uncompromising view. I enjoyed very much! can we be friends?

[G.f. Snell Iii]

Hi Christine:
You are a writer of amazing depth. You strive for such universal truths in the smallest of actions. I love the subject matter of this piece and how you use a stack of dishes dropped by a waitress to explore the fragments of life and how people compartmentalize their memories. So you get an A+ for effort.

But there are some writing challenges to explore. Again with the ellipses! They are such an unnecessary form of punctuation (in my opinion they should be used as designed: to signify missing words or phrases or to signify a voice trailing off). The ellipses give the piece a stuttering quality that works against the easy flow of the words (they're like rocks piled up in a stream -- diverting the course of the water).

This piece is so good, but it also suffers from excessive word use. You could easily tighten this up to make it more powerful. The first sentence for example: "the waitress at the table next to me drops a stack of plates and it shatters�everything" With a few edits you can get to: "the waitress at the next table drops a stack of plates -- shattering everything."

I'm certain you can do better. But there is so much to like here. Really good write.