Untitled For Now (Excerpt)

This is the opening to a new novel I'm working on.

This wasn't how she had planned to spend Christmas break, but there was nothing she could do about it now.  Looking up at a ceiling that wasn't part of her dorm or her mother’s home became her every day; the constant fight for survival was something she never dreamt would happen to her.  Kandence woke from another restless night of sleep to the sounds of dogs howling in the distance.  Sitting up, she looked around. She must have fallen asleep in someone else’s apartment again; the walls were bare with only faint outlines of were family pictures must have hung before this whole mess started and they tried to leave Houston.  She stretched slightly before undoing her emerald head scarf to run her fingers through her short ebony curly hair, cursing under her breath feeling a knot in it.  “D****t,” she said, getting out of bed and walking over to her off-white duffle bag with a bedazzled ‘Kandi’ on the side in red rhinestones. Unzipping it, she sifted through it for her comb and mirror. She paused for a moment, hearing what sounded like a low shuffling sound outside the room.  Moving her hand out of the bag, she slowly picked up her aluminum softball bat and stood up. The shuffling moved closer as she walked to the door. Tossing her bat to her left hand, holding it above her head, she grabbed the doorknob and flung it open, ready to swing. 

The creature that greeted her jumped and stumbled back, tripping over its own two feet. It looked like a man, mid-30s, but his skin was a sickly shade of grey and his eyes were dull, lacking life. She sighed, lowering the bat. “Geez. You must have lived here, right?” she asked as he nodded. “You still have some memories of your former life. That means this was your apartment.” The man stood, grunting a bit. Kandi eyed him carefully. “Sounds like you don’t much time left. Mind if I took care of you before you decide I look like a piece of meat to you?” He started to reach for her, groaning but not speaking. She took a step back, readying her bat, “Back off.” Within a second of him taking a running start towards her, Kandi swung her bat at his jaw.  The man fell to the ground as she ran back into the room, locking the door behind her. Diving for her bag, she shifted the items around before giving up, zipping it up and slinging it over her shoulder. The man began scratching at the door, trying to get in. Kandi muttered under her breath, holding her bat in a death grip before moving to the door, standing behind it. The man stumbled forward. “9. 10. I’ll survive again.” Without thinking, she brought the bat down on the top of his skull. The sickening sound of metal on bone and the bone shattering made her stomach turn, but seeing the man go down for the last time made the feeling go away. Kandi sighed, gathering the rest of her stuff before stopping at the man’s body. He could have been someone’s dad or husband. “Oh well,” she whispered to herself, leaving the apartment and looking around the hallway. 

Author's Note

I just want to know if you read this opening in a book, would you continue reading it?

Reviews

[deadpoetdoctor]

I'm confused, so maybe? I think the first sentence needs to be changed because it says Looking up at a ceiling and then the next sentence is Kandence woke from another restless night of sleep which I'm not sure if she was awake or not. Interesting start though.

[K. Toliver]

Thank you. I'll be sure to rearrange that.