Insomnia

I know the world will never be the same,

Conversations in my head;

Hours entice me then desert me.

Time for bed, mommy said

I just can’t look my problem in the eye,

I just can’t let myself say goodbye.

Just one more hour,

Just two,

Just three then four.

Life starts to blur,

A mess of books and computer screens,

Late night conversations with understanding friends.

Childhood will never be the same,

Not the two-shoes I was before,

No there’s something more to that.

Does everything happen for a reason?

I am beginning to think not.

I lose control,

Lose my soul,

Never to be the same again.