Chapter 20 [Ana]

“What’s wrong?” I ask Celia, already knowing the answer.
“When are you getting rid of Celia so we can f**k?” Celia says.
“What?”
“That’s what this text says. What the f**k…”
“Can I see?” I ask. She hands me the phone, and I can feel her hands shaking.
The text says “wen r u gtting red of Celia so we cn fuk.” God this person has bad spelling. 
“Oh Celia…” I say.
“I can’t believe him! Who the f**k does he think he is?” She yells.
“Maybe someone’s messing with him. Maybe Ashley is a dude making fun of him or something.” I reassure her.
“Are you stupid?” She snaps back. “Why would someone do that?” I don’t know what to say. But she’s getting a taste of her own medicine, really. Even though Kris never actually cheated on me. We’re both quiet. Then she opens her mouth to speak, but instead she starts to cry. I look at her sympathetically. 
“Aw Celia, I’m sure it’s nothing.”
“No, I knew it was too perfect.” She says, adjusting herself to sit next to me on the bed. “He’s so sweet and amazing. I knew there had to be something wrong with him.”
“Yeah.” I say, not knowing how to comfort her. I rub her arm. 
“This is karma. I caused so much trouble for you and Kris. I deserve this.” She tells me. At the sound of Kris’s name my eyes well up with tears, but I blink them away. 
“No you don’t!” I tell her, unconvincingly. I look into her tear filled, sea blue eyes. 
“Look, nobody deserves to get cheated on. Maybe you should call him. He might have an explanation.” I say.
She looks at me like I’m retarded. “Ana, his cell phone is at my house.”
“Then… Lets go to his house or something. We can yell at him together.” I say, smiling at her. She looks at me, sadly. 
“Okay…” She says. “Like now?” 
“Well if you want to.”
“Ana… Can I ask you a favor?”
“Depends…”
“Can… Can you just go?”
She wants me to leave her house? I look at her confused.
“No, Hun, I mean can you go alone to Steven’s house. I don’t think I can do it.” She asks, fresh tears stream down her face. 
“Oh! Sure I can!” I say suddenly. She thanks me, and we hug. My shoulder soaked, under her salty tears.
“Thank you so much Anna- I mean, Ana.” She says, calming herself down. “I don’t get it. I almost ruined yours and Kris’s relationship, Endangered your life, and you’re still so nice to me. I mean, if I were you, I would hate me.”
I smile, and say, “Well hey, forgive and forget, right?” And she nods and smiles back. But I don’t mean it. I do like Celia; she’s been great to me the past few days; but I will never forgive her, much less forget about everything that has happened between us. Yet, I’m strangely drawn to her. And I’m definitely grateful for her taking care of me. So I can’t say no to her. I get up from the huge, soft bed, and slowly put my feet down on the hard wood floor.
“Let me just clean myself up.” I tell her. She says okay. So I walk into her clean bathroom, closing the door behind me, and look at myself in the mirror. Dark circles run around my brown eyes. They look like they’re bulging out of my head. My hair is dirty and tangled and sticks straight out from my head. My lips are cracked. In short- I look disgusting. Wow, I just love being sick. It’s almost embarrassing that Celia saw me like this. The only person besides her that’s seen me like this is Kris. I was never comfortable with anyone seeing me without make up on besides him. Because he said I was always beautiful, with or without it. I can see my mother now. “Oh… Ana hunnie, you aren’t wearing make up. You look… different.” She would say, trying to hide her disapproval of my look, and my life in general. I splash cold water on my half Columbian face. I grab Celia’s red makeup bag, looking for some mascara and eyeliner. The first things I notice are about 10 condoms. I sort of giggle to myself, until I see the next thing. A bag full of some sort of white powder. S**t. I’m not sure what I should do with it. But, I thought she was clean. She looks like she is! I’m sure she doesn’t need this. I grab the zip lock bag, unzip it, and pour it into the toilet. Then I flush it down. I hope I don’t regret that later. She doesn’t need that. I try not to think about it. Quickly, I put on some eyeliner and mascara, and brush my dirty hair. Even brushed, it still looks gross. I need to take a shower. And I probably stink, too. I hadn’t noticed it before, but I’m still wearing my tight black dress. I yell out the door that I would have to take a shower. Celia responds with telling me she’ll lay out some clothes outside of the shower. I hope her things will fit me. We’d be almost the same size, about a size 3, except for her b***s are so much bigger. She’s lucky that way. I squeeze out of the dress, and look at myself on a different, full sized mirror attached to the bathroom door. I almost like my body. Though not as big as Celia’s, my b***s aren’t small, and I have a small stomach. The one thing that I just really hate is my scar. A big, straight line, right across my stomach. Every time I see this scar, a burning hatred inside me, forms for Celia. Because this scar is all her fault. I think of myself and what I just said. “Well hey, forgive and forget, right?” So Ana, just forgive her and forget anything ever happened, okay?