Chapter 14 [ANA POV]

I scream.

         “Kris!” I yell, opening my eyes, sobbing. I’m not in my bed; I don’t know whose bed it is. I don’t know why I’m here. Then Celia runs into the room, looking concerned. I keep yelling Kris’s name and sobbing. She comes and sits in a chair next to me. First, just looking at me, then placing a gentle hand upon the small of my back.

         “Calm down, Anna.” She tells me, making me feel like a little kid. And I start to calm down. I stop screaming Kris, and my cries are less intense.

         “I’m sorry, I had a bad dream.” I tell her, sniffling. I bury my face in her pillows. Well, I’m assuming they’re hers, that this is her room. She keeps her hand on my back. It feels weird.

         “No, I understand. I’ve had a few of those.” She says in a soft tone. “You’re okay. And do you remember how you got here?”

         “No idea.” I tell her, turning myself to look at her. She chuckles.

         “You got really drunk last night. It was my fault. I’m really sorry. You passed out, so I took you back to my apartment.” She tells me. It’s surprisingly very clean, and organized. The walls are painted white. It’s plain.

         “S**t. Did I do anything I’m going to regret?” I sniff.

         “You… might have…”

         “Oh no, what did I do?”

         “Flashed the bar, did some strip teases, no biggie.” 

         “The bar?”

         “Yeah, The entire bar.”

         “F**k my life.” I say, and lower my head back against the pillow. I start to cry again.

         “Aw, Anna. It’s not that bad. No one will remember.”

         “I hope not!” I cry. Celia looks at me with sympathy. I hug her.

         “I know what you’re going through, it’s tough, isn’t it? The dream, Kris was in it, right? It’s normal. It will probably happen again. And Anna,” She says, breaks the hug, and lifts my chin. “You’ll get through it. I’m always here.”

         “We don’t even like each other.” I say. I don’t know why I feel so close to her. I suppose we both lost someone we loved. Or, love. And she probably feels guilty for breaking us up so many times. I would. I couldn’t live with myself if I was her. Maybe that’s why she’s trying to make a connection with me?

         “I know. But we should, right? We could do a lot of good for each other. We need each other.”

         “I don’t need you.”

         “Really, sweetie? So if I wasn’t here, what would you be doing right now?”

         “…”

         “Hm?” She asks again.

         “…Laying on the ground in fetal position!” I start sobbing again. She pulls me back into the hug, rubbing my hair and back.

         “It’s alright Anna!” She tells me. I pull away.

         “It’s Ana.”

         “What?”

         “My name is Ana! I don’t get why you call me Anna. Ah-nuh. Get it?”

         “I’m sorry, Ana.” She tells me. I start crying more and hug her.

         “It was horrible, the dream! At first Kris was there, and he was being sweet, but then he rose and turned into a devil looking thing. He told me he was in Hell. Do you really think he is Celia?” I say into her neck, still sobbing.

         “Why would he be? Ana…” She hesitates. “…You’re… You’re just torturing yourself.” I guess I am. I guess all of this is normal. It’s just the normal mourning process. And the thing is, I think I’ll be able to get over Kris. That gives me comfort, but I also feel guilt.

         “Maybe. Do you think about him a lot?” I ask

         “Every second of every day.” She responds, directly after I ask her. Almost robotic. Celia has to be right. We look at each other awkwardly for a couple of minutes.

         “Well I should get going then.” I say, and start to get up. But right as I do, my head turns into like, an a billion pound weight. I feel nauseous, and I fall back into the bed.

         “F**k me.” I say.

         “Yeah, you aren’t going anywhere. You have a major hangover.” Celia chuckles. “Get back into bed, I’ll make you some tea and toast.” She helps me into the bed, and tucks me in.

         “I’m sorry, Celia.”

         “You apologize too much, Anna. Woops, I mean Ana.”

         “I’m being a burden.”

         “I have nothing better to do! It’s no burden, I promise, okay?”

         “I feel bad!”

         “Please don’t, Ana.”

         “Can I like, buy you something, or… something?”

         “No. End of discussion!”

         I sit up in protest. But something comes over me, and I start gagging. Celia grabs a bucket that was already set up on the ground. She holds my hair back as everything I’ve eaten in the past few days escapes my body. My throat burns. When I’m done Celia takes the bucket and leaves the room. She’s gone for what feels like a couple of seconds. When she returns, she has tea and toast. She puts a warm, wet cloth on my forehead.

         “You never could drink.” She mutters, but not in an irritated way.

         “I’m really-”

         “Save it.”

         She undresses me and puts me big soft pajamas. I feel disgusting. It’s like we switched places. I took care of her… What happened? Kris died, that’s what happened. I should let people take care of me. I get into bed again, after she dresses me.

         “I’ve never seen someone with this bad of a hangover. You know what? I think you have alcohol poisoning. I’m going to call my doctor and see what he thinks.”

         “Thanks Celia.”         I tell, attempting to smile at her. She puts in season 4 of Scrubs. My favorite show. I watch. She comes back in about 15 minutes, and takes my temperature.

         “101.8. Yeah, you probably have alcohol poisoning. My doctor said if it gets super bad to go to the emergency room, but for now, just rest. And don’t try to protest, you’re staying here.” She tells me. I groan.

         “Fine, but I owe you.”

         “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. Watch Scrubs, and call me in if you need anything, k?”

         “Well what are you going to do?”

         “Study.”

         “You go to school?”

         “I’ve been fixing myself up, Ana. I go to therapy, and I’m clean. I’ve also been attending college classes, getting a degree in English. I want to be a teacher.”

         “Wow. I’m proud of you, you cleaned up fast.”

         “Ha-ha, I had some motivation.”

         “What?”

         “Hard to explain.” She says, and winks.

         “I think I’m going to puke again…” I say. I suddenly feel super nauseous. Celia ushers me into the bathroom. I throw up more. I didn’t think I had anything more to throw up! In between each time I vomit, I manage to ask her “So have you been seeing someone.”

         “Yeah actually, but it’s nothing TOO serious.” She says, holding back my hair. I keep throwing up for about 5 more minutes. After I’m too tired to get up, I just kind of lay over the toilet. I feel super dizzy.

         “Does he have a name?”

         “His name’s Steven. I met him in my English class.”

         “How old is he?” I ask. Celia guides me back into her bedroom.

         “18.”

         “Wow! You cougar! How old are you now?”

         “I’m 27, don’t remind me! But yeah, you’d like him.” She helps me into her bed and puts the covers on over me. Someone rings her doorbell.

         “Actually, that might be him,” She says. “Stay here.”

         “It’s not like I was going to get up.” I say. She rolls her eyes and laughs.

         “Be right back then!” She walks out of the room. I can hear her walk across the floor, and open a door. Voices are muffled but I faintly hear a deep voice. After a while Celia walks in with a man. Actually, more like a boy. He’s very young looking, but very cute. He’s tall; about 6 feet, and he’s stocky. He has sandy brown hair, that’s kind of a mess, but it’s cute. He wears huge glasses around his crystal blue eyes. And he’s wearing a big, soft blue sweater with skinny jeans.

         “Hello, Ana is it?”

         “It is…” I say, coughing.

         “Ana, this is Steven.” Celia says, and he waves.

         “The famous Steven!” I say. He chuckles a little.

         “Yes. And you’re quite famous yourself, Ana. Wait, it’s Ana or Anna?”

         “Ana.” Celia and I say at the same time.

         “So, do you still want to go to the movie, Ceelie? Or do you want me to go?” He asks her. Ceelie. That’s kind of a cute nickname! I notice he has a rose in his hand, is it for her?

         “Ana? Do you need me to stay here with you?”

         “No, please go, I’ll be fine.”

         “Okay, but call me if you need anything. I’ll go put this in some water, be right back. Keep her company for a second.” She says, kisses Steven on the cheek, and grabs the rose out of his hand.

         “So does she like, wear the pants in the relationship?”

         “Oh, um, well… Yes.” He says, and chuckles a bit.

         “She’s bossy, huh? I actually hate her, you know.”

         “Yeah, so she’s said. And with good reason I hear. She told me she’s trying to make up for all the fucked up things she’s done to you.”

         “Yeah… So you go to college?”

         “I do, I’m majoring in Psychology.” He says. I majored in psychology! Celia, or should I say, “Ceelie” Is lucky as hell.

         “That’s great! I did too.” I say.

         “Oh really?” He says, and then Celia comes back, and hooks her arm around his.

         “Okay, remember, call me if you need anything!” She says.

         “Nice to meet you Steven.”

         “Nice to meet you too, Ana!” He says as they walk away.

         “Bye!” I yell and hear them shut the door.