Live Beautiful and Die Ugly

This is a monolouge I wrote for an audition. Narrated from the perspective of an uneasy spirit.

I was pretty once. Beautiful...
I was courted by many, desired and loved by suitors from all over. Rich and old, young and ambitious, deceptive and sleezy, all alike, all wanting something; there was always something in it for them some gain they sought but nothing for me.
Daddy said it was the way things were, momma said mind my manners and be a lady. Do as the men said and follow what society had set. Who believed in love anyway.

Well I did, what young girl doesn't. And I found it. In the form of a young man by the name of Adam. A young stable hand no less. However, you see a high class lady does not seek the affections of a lowly servant. But my heart didnt care for social classes, and his didnt discriminate; he returned said affections and i dreamed of running away, right into his open arms.

How could I be so naive, to believe that it could ever be anything more than stolen glances and ill advised visits to the barn in the dead of night. But I was barely out of my childhood, and still stuck on those childish fantasies that became the death of me.

Yes, the very death of me.

I'd made the trek to the stable many a night, I knew it by heart and never imagined I'd need to be cautious. Who would hurt the daughter of Lord Darcy, the young and innocent Prudence Darcy.

Many people I suppose, and my ignorance was exposed that night. I never made it to the barn, never got that far. My lover must've waited up for hours, into the dawn. He must've thought I'd forgotten him, but I didn't forget. I never forgot.

How could he know his mistress was laying cold and lifeless mere feet from his very door? Her night gown torn and tattered, covered in dust and dew as the sun rose, revealing her forsaken form for all the world to see. Her once lively eyes dull and lifeless, sitting staring in a face that once shone so bright, a shell of what had lived hours ago.

He was a jealous suitor, come to plea for my hand in marriage, only to find me stealing away into the arms of another. In his mind he owned me, I was potential property and his to give and take. So he took. All of me and left me broken to slowly slip into a world unknown, watch my life fade away feet from my secret lover.

So now here I am, stuck in this world between, forced to watch my family, my friends, my love, grow old and live and die.

Watch my love find a new love in the arms of another and dismiss my memory, casting me into misery. How could I ever forgive? Ever forget? How can I let anyone be happy, life the life I was robbed of. You see, love is a delusion and easily destroyed. So that's what I do, I destroy. Ravage and steal because the luxury of love is not something spoiled heathens deserve. What makes them better than me?

Meddle here, tear there, unravel threads lovers have sown and stand back and watch their hearts fall apart, too damaged for the affections of another naive soul. Alone, aware of the cruelty of this life.

How else am I to find pleasure in this god forsaken place?
What do they have that I don't?!
I was beautiful once! Precious and proper, the perfect lady every man wanted to marry! But look at me now, ugly and stripped of the luxuries i once knew... And such is the course of life; unkind, unfair, unjust. It's a lesson everyone must learn sometime, and it's a lesson I quite like to teach.