Stones

Being gay can make you feel alone and forgotten, worthless. But just remember there is nothing wrong with you or your orientation and you are not alone.. I wish someone would have told me that.

"You just haven't found the one yet",
That's what they said.
Everyone had a theory
To add to the voices in my head.

The words echoed on and on,
"This isn't you, it's just a phase!"
They claimed to be helping but it isn't help
When you push, ridicule, and haze.

I tried to be "normal"
And fit into their perfect little box,
Fight these feelings they called "wrong"
Because i couldn't face their throwing rocks.

Everyday I was stoned,
Pelted with hatred and hazing;
Torn down and ripped apart
By the pain i couldn't keep facing.

Daddy said "I didn't raise a f*g"
Mommy asked "Why are you doing this to me?"
Society claimed "You're just confused"
My heart screamed "Listen to me"

My father screamed and threw threats.
My mother cried and demanded why.
My church told me to repent.
My life was everyone's, but mine.

Christians pushed and shoved;
Force feeding religion, speech after speech,
Telling me I'm an abomination,
Rejecting the very love of which they preach.

Church camps and conventions,
No friends, freedom, or phone.
They claimed to want to help, but
They pushed me away until i was alone.

So i learned to act,
Didn't let anyone see the real me.
Ariell, the perfect little christian girl
Everyone expected me to be.

No one saw through the facade;
Bible studies, prayer circles, and a lovely boyfriend.
I was the daughter I was supposed to be,
But I'd never be happy playing pretend.

As it turns out, hiding hurt more
Than the stones that they threw.
Two years later and it's time to be me;
After all, I let you be you.

This is my business and none of yours.
If men don't do it for me
Then so be it; who are you
To tell me which way to lean?

Now I let my true colors shine,
Saving the acting for the stage.
Because at some point,
You have to learn to turn the page.

Go ahead, throw your bigotry and ignorance,
I can take it, let those stones fly
But I don't owe you anything.
I don't have to tell you why.

Author's Note

If you don't agree or are going to insult me or my sexual preferences, then don't read it. I don't have time for ignorant self-involved people when it comes to this anymore.

Reviews

[Anonymous -]

I dont like saying this , but its the only way to word it. I mean this metaphorically though, only god can judge us. Wow , thats weird for me to say, just with my own beliefs and all and knowing where that came from . At the end of the day we got to be who we are not who they want us to be, and I'm happy you realized that it was time to embrace the true and real you instead of the image you were portraying. I can relate to that , well not exactly but my own parallels of what you were talking about.

I liked your writing !