Chapter One

Chapter One of the book. I know its short, I'm sorry. Next chapters are longer, promise! :)

Chapter One: Past and Present.

What do you think of when you think “demons”?  Vampires? Werewolves? Faeries?

Well, demons come in all shapes and sizes in my world, and we Demon Hunters have to go after them, to kill them before they kill us or the other humans on this world.  The Demons thrived on killing us, drinking our blood or using our bodies for rituals and other stuff.  Some Demon’s thrived on changed us into their kind, like vampires and werewolves.  Some Demon’s lead a quiet life, not causing any trouble, just wanting to blend into the human world.

But they’re rare, and I only know four Demon’s like that.  The rest just want to kill, kill, kill!

When I was five, my parents sat me down and explained what I was and what they were.  They told me the stories of Demon Hunters and I listened.  I always wondered why dad came home late, and why sometimes he’d have cuts and bruises.  Mum was a little quicker than dad, and hardly ever got hurt.  They told me that at the start of the Dawn on Time, Demon’s climbed out of the earth, intent on destroying everything in its path.  At first, they were slow and didn’t get very far, but their pace picked up a little when humans evolved, mostly because they changed the humans into their kind. 

When God saw what was happening on his Earth, he created the first Demon Hunter by bringing a human from earth and training him.  God gave the Demon Hunter a few extra things and sent them back down to earth to fight off the Demon’s.  The First Demon Hunter did their job well and had offspring with a normal human, causing more Demon Hunters. They carried on after the First Demon Hunter died.  Throughout the years, many families have Demon Hunter blood in them, and some don’t even realise they’re Demon Hunter’s.  They’re Lost Demon Hunters, and some of them never realise what they are or what their ancestors were. 

Most Demon Hunters were born into a whole family of Demon Hunters, like myself.  They grew up, training, going to normal school, listening to the tails of old Demon Hunters, learning about certain weapons and such forth.  At the age of fifteen, Children Demon Hunters are put into heavy training that fitted around their school time.  We learned how to use Demon Hunter Weapons and learned to fight.  We learnt about all the Demon’s out there, starting out at remembering basic facts like their names and how to identify them, right up to what poisons killed them and what they looked like inside their bodies. 

Some Demon’s even fall in love with humans, and do everything they can to stay together.  But every so often a Demon and a Demon Hunter fall in love, which is against everything that makes a Demon Hunter a Demon Hunter.  If a Demon Hunter fell in love with a Demon, they were cast out of the Demon Hunters, banished to the human world, not allowed to contact anyone they knew as a Demon Hunter.  They left their families behind and their friends.  But that hardly ever happened, because Demon Hunters never allowed themselves to get attached to Demons, even being friends with one of them can cause you to lose your title as a Demon Hunter, but you can still contact your family if you were only friends with them.  I wasn’t friends with any Demon Hunters; I hated them, more than some Demon Hunters.

The reason why is because at the age of ten, three days before my eleventh birthday, my parents were killed by Demons that had hunted them down, wanting revenge for killing their friends a few days before.  My mum rushed into my room, holding my baby brother in her arms.  She told me to take him and get out, and just keep running.  As I heard dad shouting down stairs and crashes as the Demon’s threw him about, I nodded.  Mum had yanked open my window and told me to climb onto the old oak tree outside it and get down.  She said go straight to the training centre and tell the people there that he was back.

When I was ten, I didn’t realise how bad he was, and I just nodded and climbed out the window, heading for the ground with my baby brother.  I was halfway across the back garden when I heard her scream.  I turned back stupidly and looked up at my window.  Someone was watching me!  It was dark and I couldn’t see their face very well.  But I could see their blood red eyes watching me, studying me.  I ran before anyone could come after me, even though I was in training, I wouldn’t have been able to do much damage and probably would have got myself killed.

It was only a few hours later when two Demon Hunters came back to the training centre and said that my parents were dead did it really set in.  I cried.  I cried a lot the few days after their death.  People tried to comfort me but I couldn’t speak to them.  I blamed myself, saying that I could have helped.  From a young age I was able to see the future, but I wasn’t in control.  But sometimes I’d have visions.  I said that if I’d tried harder at trying to control my visions, then I would have gotten control and I could have seen the attack before it happened.  People told me that wasn’t the case and that it wasn’t my fault, but I ignored them.  I refused to come out of my room on my birthday and cried all day.  We were going to have a party, but because my parents were dead, it was cancelled.  People tried to get me to come out the room and once I heard my baby brother screaming.  He could only just talk then, but he knew how to say my name and screamed it. 

One week after my parents death, they explained who he was too me.  I’ll never forget that day.  They sat me down with a mug of hot chocolate and a chocolate chip and explained it all to me.

He was Damian Slith, right hand man of Satan, they called him.  He was a vampire, and as old as time itself.  He was one of the first vampires ever made, and he thrived on killing people, he wanted to get rid of all Demon Hunters.  He held a grudge against my parents because they had killed his mate a few years before I was born.   I started to panic when they said that, I asked if he would come after me and my brother because he killed our parents, but they told me that he wouldn’t come after me because he didn’t have a grudge against me, only against my parents.

I grew up quickly, training even harder to get to the level I wanted, the highest.  People told me to stop, but I didn’t.  Birthday’s and Christmas’ flew by; my baby brother grew up right in front of my eyes.  He trained hard like me, we only had each other left, and I valued him to keep me sane.  When I was fifteen, I saw something I didn’t want to see.  My brother, dead on the floor, covered in his own blood.  I was out running at the time and ran home.   When I got there he was on the floor, covered in his own blood, but there was someone standing over him, drinking his blood.  I yelled out for help as we didn’t live alone and charged at the person drinking his blood.  They threw me back as if I was only feather light and then disappeared out the window at a blinding speed.  

I cried again, I’d lost my parents and now my little brother.  I locked myself in my room after refusing to let go of his body for hours.  I didn’t come out for three days, continually crying all the time.  I didn’t eat for days and even tried to take my own life by cutting my wrists.  Someone found me and rushed me to hospital before I could die.  When I got out I vowed to find the vampire that had killed my brother, and find Damian, the killer of my parents.  I devoted my life to tracking them down, but at the time I was only fifteen, and thought it was easy enough to find them.  But it turned out harder than I expected. 

Now, at the age of eighteen, I’m still looking for them, and have yet to find them.  I look everyday whilst I do my other Demon Hunter duties and my training.  I’m still trying to be the best, and I’m nearly there.  I’m good, and I can use all Demon Hunter Weapons.  People are still telling me to stop, to chill out, to be a normal teenager, but I can’t.  Not ‘til the people who killed my parents are dead.  I won’t ever stop until they’re dead.

And that is a promise.

Author's Note

Please don't shoot me down for how crappy this is!

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

It is not crappy at all. You set-up the story up with great skill. I like the description of demons and the training of demons killers. I like the main character. You gave him reason and purpose. I enjoyed this chapter. I will read on. A outstanding beginning to this story.
Coyote

[VincentRayne]

Good chapter. I don't think that this is short at all. I liked how this first chapter introduced us to the main character and his reasoning and motives.

[alan peter kelly]

i found this first chapter entertaining...i understand that your age makes you somewhat self conscious...however in this case there is no need...you write clearly...your grammar and spelling are exceptional...you are obviously dedicated and talented...you show great promise and i shall come back and read a chapter at a time when my schedule allows...im glad i stopped by to see a new talent on the horizon...

[Cherrie]

great set-up and hook for a story

[Jason Galliger]

It's not bad, but like any story it could always use some polishing. A few little errors I saw: "Some Demon’s thrived on changed us into their kind" should be changed to "some demon's thrived on changing us into their kind"; second when you write "banished to the human world" you don't mention that they were ever anywhere else than the human world based on what you wrote previously (with the exception of the first demon hunter). Another small issue I have is that you use Demon so universally to describe all sorts of supernatural creatures like vampires and werewolves. I have a specific vision of what a demon is so when you throw vampires in the "demon" category it causes me to have to scratch my head a bit and go back and see if i missed something. But other than that its a very good start and an intriguing story line. Hope my feedback helps.

[Political Punk ~~ CBD]

Not bad at all, it gives plenty of "wiggle room" for the reader in my opinion. Meaning I can look and read, and give a few little ideas on where the story might go. My only suggestion would be adding a few little words here and there.

Example:

"drinking our blood or using our bodies for rituals and other stuff"

I think it would make it seem a little more solid if you did this

"Drinking our blood or using our bodies for rituals and other things of the sort"

but this is just an opinion, to his their own when it comes to things like this