Unclean

A Poem by Misfits Girl

But there she stayed,
Clinging on to the only thing she felt she could still believe in,
That tiny glimmer of hope,
That narrow edge.

It felt like they had been watching her there for hours,
The wind whipping her clothes and pale skin,
Her hair being swept like the tides
Her body looking more fragile as the time slowly passed.

Her reasons were still unclear,
As she stood there,
With every single star shining down on her,
With every part of her creeping away like her tears.

She did it before they could stop her,
She left them all standing there that day,
When she felt her final free breath catch in her throat,
As it stuck beside the bruises.

She was right to think that them understanding was impossible,
How could they see as she,

How could they feel how she did,
How could she even say the words.

It didn’t take so long for it to happen,
The slow motion function of the accident didn’t seam to work,
And so she fell,
And within the second it was over, she was over.

She had told them,
She had cracked and confessed it,
Spoken of how she was tainted,

Covered in the stains of him.

She spoke and spoke till the memories engulfed her,
She was done for that night,
But as she loaded her self into bed,
She knew it was far from over.

There was still so much she needed to say,
So much she needed to vent,
But she couldn’t bring herself to let them hear the words,
So she hid.

Hid from herself, from the world,
From what she felt inside,
And from all the memories that flashed when she closed her eyes,
But especially she hid her past.

And so she was brought back to that edge,
That sliver of what she could still believe in,
Her silver lining,
That one she loved.

Her heart and soul was poured into it all,
And soon the past appeared to be less to her,
That was what she let them see,
But inside, she was still being eaten away.

She was still the girl she was before,
Still with the same tainted heart,
But now she gave it to another,
Brushing at the stains with her pale hands.

One day she’ll feel clean,
One days you’ll understand,
One day might never come,
She doesn’t hold her breath.