Ack...Untitled

Based on the accompanying picture, not sure if it's finished.. l'd like to put it to a medieval theme if l can, with the word choisage.

 

She stared with unseeing eyes

Skeletal fingers, not bloody or broken,

But bare of all life clenching at her sides, 

as ahead she strode,

Marching onward

To an uthought destination.

Her skin wasn't stripped from her bones

While still she breathed,

And she wasn't strangled in her sleep.

A black sky loomed over

Head

Warning of things to come,

Clouds descending

Heavy with the stink of rain

Lightning shocking it's way

From cloud to cloud.

Skinless toes scraped against dry rocks

On the edge of the world

A cliff

A precipice

Her fear beyond all thoughts.

It wasn't a passing of horror,

She wasn't raped and murdered,

Stranded on this land for unfinished vengeance,

She hovered,  pensively

Comprehending the wordless definition

Of eternity,

Pondering the possibility

That perhaps it was her turn

To seek out the truth.

She could see

Barely

A scraggly weed struggling

Valiantly

Against a barren howling wind;

Stronger then herself,

But dying in the end all the same.

She didn't seek immortality,

Nor did she drink poison

In the nightly wine, or

swallow death angels

With nary a thought.

 

She didn't remember.

 

 

Author's Note

Be critical, if you please.

Reviews

[Wolfwind Words]

Line 6 "uthought" ??? whats that?
I'm not sure if it was where you chose to break the lines up, but it didn't quite have a smooth flow to it.
I found that it brought me into a story, that didn't seem to end. I kept hearing about what had not happened to the character, but we never find out or a get a hint as to what did happen to here, to bring her to this point in her journey.
The images are vivid and good though, and i think this has alot of potential!
Keep it up.

[THERISA]

As Aaron mentions, in his review, "uthought"??? If you meant, "unthought", it doesn't fit the flow of the lines around it. Better to use, "unknown". Misa, this poem needs some serious editing, to keep it flowing to the reader. Case in point:

"Her skin wasn't stripped from her bones
While still she breathed,"

Feeling forced, like you didn't know how you wanted to word these lines. It has the potential, to be a very dark and gothic poem. Thank you for sharing this, with us.