The Devil Inside

Psychological/mythological type thriller thing

 

The dream came from nothing, when l was young and reckless. I wanted the world, and l wanted it now - no waiting, no hesitating. I’d had enough of that from my family, so when l met the devil & felt the desire…I went for it. Stupid mistake, l know, but it was just a dream, and for once l wanted to have the things l’d always craved. They were like a compulsion, something l couldn’t get out of my blood, and l was the worst kind of extremist.

We stood in a field of golden flowers, surrounded by fashion models and rich men with sport scars l couldn’t even imagine owning on my current salary. The diamonds glittered in the sunlight, and they were absolutely everywhere - all the people around me were wearing truly amazing pieces, and somehow, so was l. After hearing the tinkle of champagne crystal, l looked at the man beside me, and told him what l wanted. Somehow, l knew he could get it for me, and l didn’t care how. And when he offered me the chance if l just did him one tiny favor, my response was instantaneous. I said yes.

The morning after, l didn’t really remember the dream, but it’s always been like that, so when there was this vague feeling nagging at the back of my mind, l didn’t really question it. Just figured it was something off my list of things to do that I’d missed, yet again. Wouldn’t really have surprised, or bothered, me, either. Two days passed, and the nagging feeling persisted, getting stronger every time l saw someone l considered to be successful - if they had a nice car or beautiful clothes, there was this fire of jealousy, burning in my gut, and l couldn’t rid myself of it. By the end of the second day, l was muttering frantically, seeing visions of myself with all these wonderful possessions, and I’ll be honest with you. By this point l almost didn’t care where the means for them came from. When the idea to do it occurred to me, l resisted at first, just a bit, thinking that it wasn’t right and there had to be a better way to do it - l could get a second job. But then…

But then l thought, when will l have time to enjoy these wonderful things? And l didn’t want to wait…so when l a buddy of mine came to me with a proposition, saying he had something he thought would change our worlds, l went for it. I didn’t care, and I’d lost what little reason I’d had in the last few days to begin with.

 The next day l woke up early, revved to go and anxious about my part in the job - l knew we had to do this right, or I’d be enjoying the fruits of my labor behind bars. And that was not the way l wanted to do this. So when my partner told me l had to wear gloves, and have an alibi set up for the entire day, l went above and beyond the call of duty. I spent the entire day making sure people saw me around town drinking, knowing that my reputation as a somewhat heavy party-goer would make people assume l was drunk that night - in reality l didn’t drink anything at all, not even for courage. I stopped in at several of my favorite haunts, stinking of whisky and staggering all over the place, and hit on the girls (and some guys, truth be told), being sure to slur my words more than once, and even got one girl to go home with me for a bit of a quickie.

Before too long though, the time was up and l was getting ready. My gloves were pulled on carefully, fingerprints avoided with the use of saran wrap that l later burned, and instead of taking my own car, l hired a taxi, getting picked up at a corner nearly eight blocks from where l lived. Believe me; l went to some pretty extreme lengths to do this. I wanted the money, and l wanted it bad. There was soo much l was going to buy with it, and everyone was going to be so jealous of me, it was incredible.

I met my buddy at an old warehouse a couple blocks from the museum, and even then l could feel it calling to me. The artifact was in my blood, begging me to set it free, and l was going to keep my word. I remembered the dream now. We went around to the back entrance, quickly finding the window the security guard had conveniently left open, and climbed in. Careful to leave no trace of ourselves behind, we made our way to the middle of the huge museum, picking our way through display after display, and never once stopped to look, even though any one of them would have netted us an incredibly huge profit. For some reason l never stopped to consider the dangers of going after this specific artifact in favor of picking something else. Although the other items were incredibly valuable, the item we were after was worth an amount we couldn’t even imagine.

“Come on, let’s go.” We could see a faint glow coming from the room just off the one we’d just entered, at the far end of the hall, and quiet sounds seemed to be echoing off the stone walls. We were close. Slowly we moved down the hall, almost gliding on rubber-soled feet, barely even making a shadow on the walls. Our breath was shallow and silent, and when we got to the door and peaked in, we knew were there. There, in the center of the room, a large glass case was surrounded by a satin fence, and sitting on a midnight silk cushion was the artifact. I could see it as clear as anything I’d ever seen before, despite the lack of light in the room, and l could feel it calling to me.

Seducing me. Untold power - who wouldn’t want it? With every step that drew us near, my fascination grew until by the time l was standing in front of it, my hands were shaking, and l couldn’t resist the urge to reach out and hold it in my hands. When l touched the softly glowing jewel in the center, l felt a voice reaching out to my mind, pulling me in - my vision clouded over, and l began to lose feeling in my hands and feet.

“Shane, don’t!” My buddy’s voice barely registered in my mind as the compulsion to feel this power hit my mind. With a strength I’d never imagined possible, something slammed into me, pulling at the deepest level of my soul in it’s search for answers, and at the same time, my mind began to spin. I could see myself with all the things I’d seen in my dreams, a million more diamonds than l’d ever thought, and all l had to do was obey.

I couldn’t resist, so when l felt the final ties between my consciousness and my body sever, l didn’t even flinch. I was going to have success, on my own terms.

 Do as l say, and you’ll have your deepest desires.

Yes, master.

Turn towards Shane. You know what you must do; none can ever know you were here.

Of course, master.

 Obediently I turned towards Shane, feeling slightly numb as l did so, and words came out of my mouth without thought.

“Let’s go, Shane. We have to get out of here.” I nodded towards the doorway we’d came in through, and pushed him out into the larger room. My stomach was turning over, and l felt faintly dizzy, but l knew what had to be done, and l wasn’t going to hesitate. Too much rested on doing this right.

I sold my soul to the devil, and didn’t even remember doing it. Despite his protests, l led the way through the building and towards the park where we’d agreed to meet up, fingering the blade of the knife I’d brought with me just in case.

At the very back of the park, l turned to him under the cover of a heavy tree canopy. “We have to talk, Shane. I can’t let you tell anyone about this night.” My voice was calm and quiet, barely rising above a whisper, and l still had that slightly dizzy, numb feeling. Really didn’t mind it, either, to be perfectly honest. So when he just looked at me with this blank stare on his face, l shrugged, taking that final step on the soft, wet grass with a careful grace, and said “Forgive me, please?”, and slowly it dawned on him.

“Whoa, what’re you doin, man? Thought we were buddies.” He held his hands up defensively and backed up, shaking his head warily. “Relax, man. Aint no way I’m gonna tell anyone about this, l swear.” His voice was shaking now; fear finally registering in his mind, and l knew l had to act soon. The knife came into view almost without me being aware of it, and l watched the fear turn to terror in his eyes as his skin paled several shades.

“I can’t take the chance, Shane. There’s too much at stake here to be careless right now,” l said quietly, smiling mercilessly. The voice was a silent hum in the back of my mind, reminding me of what needed to be done, and for some reason, l was starting to look forward to this. The image of having his blood on my hands, of taking his life like that…it was strangely compelling, almost erotic. And somehow, l didn’t find that disturbing in the least - l was already that far gone, you see.

The knife came up in a swift arc above my head, and as he turned to run, l reached out with the other hand, grabbing onto his jacket effortlessly. Pulling him back against me, l whispered something in his ear, making him an offer he couldn’t refuse.

“You’re going to die either way, Shane. You know that. Would you rather have it end in pleasure, or pain?” He could feel me against his back, and a whimper escaped his throat unwillingly, but l could feel the change that was beginning to come over him already. Something was changing him, just like it’d changed me. Perhaps he wouldn’t need to die after all?

l never expected this… is he susceptible to my powers as well?? Take him back to your place, slave. I wish to see if he submits. If he does not, kill him; l do not care how.

 I could feel him trembling as l held the knife to his throat, but his skin was warm, and l knew he was on the verge of giving in to me.

What wonderful fun we could have…

I was not thinking clearly, as you can see, and when the voice told me to take him home, l complied most willingly, seducing his thoughts with my newfound strength and words, and pulled him into the house. The door almost locked itself behind me, and soon l was exploring something that could have been wonderful, if l could remember half of it clearly.

Author's Note

I've lost the second half to this, so it's currently unfinished, but let me know what you think. Another old piece, from... '06, l think.

Reviews

[Kasey Klein]

Hi Misa.

"What I think" is basically you have the good bones for a story, but it needs some work. I didn't do a complete copy-edit, but did notice:

& felt the desire -- 'and' is spelled out.
sport scars -- sport cars
when l a buddy of mine came -- misplaced word
There was soo much -- "so"
rubber-soled feet -- shoes, not feet.
got to the door and peaked in, we knew were there. -- "peeked in" "we knew WE were there
by a satin fence -- satin rope?
my soul in it's search for answers "its" not it's
perfectly honest -- watch your clich�s, you have a few.

Instead of saying: "it was strangely compelling, almost erotic" -- almost erotic, I'd like to see a image painted instead --"I imaged the blade entering the unwilling flesh, unwilling at first, then, more thrust..." You get the idea.

It seems, when our protagonist is reaching out for the artifact, our protagonist's 'buddy' yells out:

"Shane, don't!" My buddy's voice barely registered in my mind as the compulsion to feel this power hit my mind.

Then, our protagonist says a bit later:

"I can't take the chance, Shane. There's too much at stake here to be careless right now," l said quietly, smiling mercilessly.

I thought at first there was an error, but now I think there's only one person.

I like the story -- I think you should work on it.

[Thanh]

would love to read the complete version. great story.

[Damien Dsoul]

This story is thoroughly engaging. It's got an almost sensous feeling, more like something out of a dream, even though it really isn't. The ending was very grabbing.