The Ups and Downs of being a Superhero.

This short story is a comedic and sarcastic piece, I wrote it a few months ago and would recommend everyone over the age of eleven to read it. Thank you and enjoy x

Being a superhero has it’s ups and downs, you’d think there’d be no ‘downs’ but believe me when i say there is. Last week I got a phone call from this lady shrieking and screaming, she didn’t say much before the phone cut. I traced her address and when I made my heroic entrance, the spider was already killed. I mean, come on! These humans depend on me for the littlest of things. Killing a spider? Fixing the Wifi? Changing dirty diapers!? Do I look like I’m some sort of nanny? I can carry seven thousand and one cars at the same time, my speed is as fast as the fastest man alive, except a hundred million times faster, and yet the world depends on me for… THIS! 

You’ll also be quite surprised by an event that took place just yesterday, after a quite disappointing lunch at a fast food joint, I was casually roaming the streets for some cheering up from my fans! I’m always in the mood to sign autographs, take selfies and give my truly amazing fans a hug, (maybe a kiss too, if it’s a lady over eighteen.) So, anyways, these girly teenagers came up to me with their baby pink coloured camera, as usual, I was posing for a picture when one of them came up to me and said they wanted me to take a picture of them. You heard me, THEY wanted ME to take a picture of THEM. It’s like they didn’t even recognise me! Excuse me ladies, but I probably saved your life back in the day; but I guess all you care about now is that dumb kid Justin Bieber (who sounds so ladylike, by the way.) Is that the new style now? guys who haven’t even hit puberty yet?! This is probably more confusing than a modern day maths equation… I just can’t seem to figure it out. 

Enough of the ‘downs’ for now though, let’s think of how I can rewind incidents, forward my life if i’m too bored, or just pause because I want to capture the moment forever. I’m basically like a time machine, but more advanced, more handsome… and i can pick up the ladies too… :) can an ordinary time machine do that? The answer is no, in case you were wondering. Now, without any further ado, let me tell you of the time I paused time… it was the best time ever! First of all, you need to know that I have enemy’s too. My mortal enemy is the guy who makes all those action figures, he deliberately made me look like a ballerina, wearing a tutu and in some girly twinkle shoes. And the worst part is, if you press my stomach, this cheesy barbie girl song plays. When the figure came out, I was absolutely raging! I was furious and I was this close to killing the guy, but a better idea got to me first. I crept up on his calendar and I realised he had a date on Saturday, I take it he was mooning over the lady because when I broke into his house, his room was filled with pictures of her… one word; C.R.E.E.P. As i watched him get ready for his date, he tried possibly all of his fine suits, brushed his teeth about five times and re-combed his hair over and over, he wanted everything to be perfect. Let me just say that it didn’t go as expected. And let me also just say that a certain ‘someone’ had posted that video on youtube and it got over one million hits in the first ten minutes of it posted. He took her out to an Italian restaurant, (finest of them all) and when it was time for their romantic kiss, I slyly pressed the ‘pause’ button on life and basically pulled his pants down, (only to find cheesy spongebob boxers) and stuck his finger in  his nose, I got my camera out and pressed ‘play’ on life again; oh, it was the most hysterical time ever! Not for him, but for me. The lady he was mooning over smacked him hard on the face and the guy got kicked out of the restaurant pant-less (the lady took his pants) and a certain “someone” caught the whole thing on youtube! And by certain “someone”, I mean me. That’s what you get for messing with a superhero who can do… ANYTHING! 

 

Author's Note

Don't hesitate to give me feedback, good or bad...i'm willing to listen and to improve my weak points. I hope this little piece is a delicious thrill to read.
Age limit: over the age of eleven/twelve should be fine.

Reviews

[Nikhil Ranka]

Holy freaking cow. Hahahaha! I did not stop laughing through the entire piece. Hahahaha! Oh, Mira... Mira! Mira! Mira! I just can't stop laughing. I have tears in my eyes. S**t you not. Funniest piece I've read in my life. Absolutely in love with your sense of humor.

You miss are a delightful read. I bow down to you. Funny. Funny. Funny. Made my day.

I give this ∞/100

[Mira]

Thank you so much Nikhil! I really didn't think I was going to get so many positive reviews on my stories. I love any feedback, and this really made my day!

[Dave]

What an enjoyable read! It's funny how we fans of superheroes seem to forget that they, like us, have certain mundane things they must do. Eating for example. Depositing our body waste, having to shower or bathe - perhaps falling in love.
Nice work here.

[richieb]

Mira, a very entertaining piece. Just the right touch of sarcasm and self-deprecating humor. Nice work. Richie B.

[B. Boileau]

What a great imagination! I never gave a thought to a super hero being called for everyday minor tasks. I also loved the touch of sarcasm.
bill

[Mira]

Thanks Bill for your super kind words! Much appreciated :)
Also, happy new years!!
read moreThanks Bill for your super kind words! Much appreciated :)
Also, happy new years!!


Regards, Mira.

[Bear]

Critique: (but believe me when i say there is) when I
(So, anyways, these girly teenagers came up to me) So anyway,
(forward my life if i’m too bored) if I'm
(more handsome… and i can pick up) and I
(As i watched him get ready for his date) As I
(only to find cheesy spongebob boxers) Spongebob

Review: First, seeing you are from India I assume English is not your native language if this is the case I want to compliment you both for your courage and your grasp of the language. I found your story humorous and entertaining, it was a pleasure to read. Now I would like to offer you a link to the Grammarly app, it will help you with editing your work https://app.grammarly.com/

[Mira]

Please do not think that writing English in India is a big deal. It isn't, everyone does it! Just saying...

Thanks, I'll be sure to use the app on my editing.

[Laura Almeida]

AAHA I think this was very funny. I had to stop sometimes because I was laughing so much.
At the same time as any super hero he is nothing without a Villain, poor guy ahahahah

NArrative was very nice,
Great sense of humour!

Regars, Laura

[Mira]

Oh wow, thanks!
Your feedback is appreciated :)

Mira.

[Gorgon]

This piece was hilariously good! :) You can probably make it like a series. "A Page in Superheroes Dairy" or something like that. Really innovative and funny..

[Krizito]

You know the one thing you never get of???(when you don't consider lifetime shopping on an unlimited credit an option..) Reading a good story, and man you're coated with lots of em.
Hope you never get greedy and stop to share.

[Bharath Mutyala]

First of all believe me when I say this you've a great sense of humor.God knows I could never pull off a female POV let alone a superhero but you rocked the macho superhero perspective.All the smileys , quotes , pauses, filler brackets (yeah...that's what I call them :P ) and capital letters were positioned and used perfectly.I can feel your hate for Bieber seeping through the superhero .I am tempted to ask though , do you know anything about One-punch man 'cause he is exactly the kind of superhero you tried to portray over here. Humor is definitely one of your strong suits. Hope you write more pieces like this.
Cheers :)

Bharath

[Yehshaihah]

hahahaa this is fantastic its almost as though it pokes fun at the things we believe are life threatening like spiders! its a brilliant read and the tone of voice from the narrator is perfect you nailed it! and the sarcastic end sentences are brilliant its almost as if the superhero is stooping to the level of the rest of us.
A brilliant story!

[Mira]

Thank you :) You have not only the talent of writing but giving people excellent feedback.

Mira.