The View from The Window.

The short story, "The View from the Window" cannot be described with words. All I can tell you is that a girl encounters many fascinating things while on her way to town, I hope you enjoy! :)

Janie Marvels and her family of seven lived in a large farmhouse by the lake. The view from Janie’s window was absolutely breathtaking, just to wake up everyday and see that marvellous view from her window reassured Janie that she wasn’t leaving anytime soon. As much as Janie loved the view from her window; she couldn’t help but want something more out of it. Every time Janie looked outside, she saw beautiful things put in one scenery. But none of it, meant much to her. She wished that every-time she would look out the window, she could see her childhood memories right in front of her, the stumbles, the falls, the joys… everything. She wished that every-time she’d look out the window, she could see her future before her eyes. Janie wished that every-time she’d look out of that window, she could see herself walking to town, a place with bright lights and laughter everywhere, so she heard.

The day after her eleventh birthday, her two elder brothers left for college so it was her mother now who’d go to town to fetch the supplies for the family; and quite often her mother would get sick so it would be her father going to town! But there was on one occasion when Janie’s father was out hunting in the marshes and her mother happened to be sick, only then her mother would give her permission to go fetch the supplies from town. Janie knew that it was a long walk from the farmhouse, and with the shoes that she had; it was of no use and she’d get tired soon, but the family couldn’t starve, could they? Janie was more then happy to do the favour, even with the torn and weary shoes that she had, she agreed. 

 As she left the farmhouse with a long list of items that she needed to get from the market and a bottle of water in case she got tired, she took a breath in of the crisp air and grinned widely. Janie had never been this happy, and she was enjoying every moment of it. As she treaded along the path to town, she saw so many things that she never dreamt of seeing before. She saw lots of deer in the fields, she had never seen a deer before, so this was a moment that she would remember forever. Janie wanted to spend more time admiring the plenty deer, but she had to hurry back before it’d get too dark. Janie also got to pass the vast green lake that her father fished in sometimes. It had been two years since she’d seen that lake, and now she finally got to see it again. It looked different, Janie had thought, but without a doubt it was the still the most interesting view she had ever seen. Janie decided to dip her legs in the cold, icy but yet refreshing lake-water for a quick moment or two. As she did so, everything around her felt so different… but oh, so wonderful. It was as if the world had just paused, and this was the only thing that mattered right now. As Janie slowly took a grip on reality, she made a note to never forget this moment, and to cherish it forever. 

Town was not so far, Janie had thought. It was quite a tricky route to follow, but it wasn’t that far. Overall, It took her just about twenty minutes including a quick stop at the lake and a moment or two admiring the deer. She figured that everybody was just simply exaggerating their back pains or foot pains, or it could simply be the fact that they were ageing and Janie was clearly not! As Janie entered town, she was surrounded by restaurants, cafe’s and different forms of entertainment. For Instance, they was a large cinema, Janie knew what it was, and she was ever so eager to see what it looked like on the inside, but she knew she could not. She also passed a group of youngsters playing all sorts of instruments right up on the street outside the market, she stood watching for a while, amazed. She didn’t know what those instruments were called, but one of them looked very familiar, it was a gorgeous golden brown of colour and as the bow graciously glided across the strings, she knew it was more than just a song to her. Her heart filled with emotion as she kept on listening, and now she knew what it was called- a violin. She remembered that her grandfather used to play it to her, he played for Janie every night just as she was to sleep. He would say; ‘When you go to sleep, you’re dreams will be only happy and melodious, and as long as you hear the soft sound of the violin, nothing bad will ever happen to you.’ Janie listened to the violin’s comforting sound; It was heaven, but the only thing was… it was better. It was like she was hearing her grandfathers comforting voice again, she had never felt that feeling in a long time, and now that she was; she couldn’t help but donate a penny or two to those youngsters. She thanked them and left for the market. The market was the most clustered and crowded thing Janie had ever seen, and it was just a late Wednesday evening! If this was so claustrophobic, she daren’t imagine what it would be like on a sunny, Sunday afternoon. As she elbowed her way through the teeming market, she hurriedly grasped hold of all the supplies that she needed making absolutely no eye contact with strangers, just as her mother sternly said not to do. Janie made her way to counter to get billed for her supplies. There was a young girl who was billing Janie, she didn’t look much older than Janie herself. She gave her a grin, even though mother strictly said not to, but what harm could a girl just about her age do? The girl politely grinned back, making no conversation. Janie was handed two plastic bags filled to the brim with all kinds of items that she needed. She then swiftly lead herself out of the market carrying the two bags. 

As Janie left town, she thought of all the amazing experiences she witnessed today. She couldn’t wait to tell everyone what an amazing journey she had. She would detail every single bit of her journey, it could take a while, but she just had to share it. As she treaded back to town, there was a gleam in Janie’s eye. A gleam that suddenly emerged right after her grandfathers death, a gleam that was lost, but suddenly… it was found. The gleam was was found.

After the tiring day that Janie had, she decided to tell everyone about her exciting journey tomorrow. For now, she wanted to simply eat her supper and get to bed. As Janie entered her room, her gaze met with the window by the bed. Janie was hoping that her view from the window had changed. Her heart was beating faster every step she took closer to that simple, pale window which could mean everything to her. She didn’t know what she was expecting, but she was hoping that she would be taken into another world every-time she looked out the view from her window. At first sight; it was nothing… absolutely nothing. Janie squinted and rubbed her eyes a couple of times, but it was of no use. The view from her window didn’t change. As Janie looked at her reflection through her window; she could see something in the distance. A man. He was walking towards the farmhouse, and every step that he took the man looked more and more familiar. Everything around him remained the same, but his warmth and glow made it seem different. Janie could see what he was wearing now, a floppy hat made from straw and blue jeans made from canvas along with classic cowboy boots with a metal spur attached to it. These type of clothes were only worn by Janie’s grandfather, and the next thing he did, was call out to her. It was all a memory; but it was a memory that stayed within little Janie’s soul forever. The view from the window, was better than she had ever expected. 

Author's Note

I hope you enjoyed the story, it took about a week with editing to post it on this site. Even if it wasn't so good, don't hesitate to tell me :) Feedback can be good or bad! Also, feel free to give suggestions on some other short stories I should write...! I love to hear new ideas.
Thanks, Mira.

Reviews

[transentience]

This slice of life was a very uplifting read. I saw lots of metaphors to get out and experience the beauty of life, rather than just observing it. I liked how you made gender roles irrelevant in order for the family to work together and strive. And I loved Janies independence and how she created her own beauty in her journey. This kind of reminded me of "Rappaccini's Daughter" by Nathaniel Hawthorne, but less morbid, haha.

[Mira]

Thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind words on my story. I will return the favor soon :)

Regards,
Mira.

[Krizito]

Ever read a story and when you're done the only words that escapes your mouth is a tiny "wow" ...
For the record, good editing skills.

[Mira]

Thank you so much :) Really made my day x

Mira.

[Nikhil Ranka]

1. Absolutely love the title. I often ask this question to strangers, when I make conversations online: What's it like outside your window?

2. The detailing is magnificent. You speak of her shoes, the water bottle, "she took a breath in of the crisp air and grinned widely." (Which I think you do as well. And then realize it.) Shows that when you write, you are in your character's shoes, you put a part of you into your character. And only those passionate enough can really do it.

3. It's wonderful that you speak of music. The Violin. Perhaps, it's your favorite instrument?

4. As I read this piece, I was in it. I felt like I was a part of it. I could conceive the entire episode transpiring in me head. Simple to read, but sprinkled with hidden messages everywhere. Pure delight to read.

5. And the finale! Wasn't expecting it at all. I swear I had goosebumps when I read it. A beautiful way to end a wonderful adventure.

Thank you very much for this read. Blew my socks away. I don't deserve the squat of limelight that you deserve. Truly. Gifted, observant, emphasizing, starry-eyed, expressive, funnier than hell! You deserve a reward for the joy I've received from this most magnificent Sunday Morning read. Both your stories. Ask me anything. And I shall try my best to make it happen. :)

Take Care.

[Mira]

Wow! This is amazing for you to write all of this. YOU blew MY socks away! Nikhil, you deserve just as much limelight as I do... :)
Yes, I have played the violin for almost three years now...and I can't get enough of it!
Thank you...!
Mira.

[Jacob Clifford]

This is an interesting idea and one that has potential to be very many things.

[Mira]

Thank you Clifford! Comments like yours really inspire me to take up writing professionally. I haven't even reached my teen years yet, (just a couple more months until i'm thirteen) so there's lots of time to think!

[Jacob Clifford]

Oh wow. I started writing when I was twelve too. Good luck to you. You have a fun path ahead.

[Mira]

Thanks :) Looking forward to it!

[Madd-Fictional]

I liked the concept of the story, a shut-in looking at the world from behind the safety of her window, finally being forced to step out of her safety zone and experience the world she daydreams about.

That being said (and I hate to be a downer) the thing that pulled me out of the story were all the grammatical and spelling errors. Here are a few examples from the first few paragraphs alone:

- "every-time" should be written as "every time" without the hyphen
- "But none of it, meant much to her." the comma isn't needed
- The sentence "Janie was more then happy to do the favour," "then" should be "than"
- "Janie wanted to spend more time admiring the plenty deer" did you mean "plentiful deer" as in their number?
- "but she had to hurry back before it’d get too dark." Perhaps, "but she had to hurry back before it got too dark" would be better.

All in all, as I mentioned before, it's a valiant effort and all you need do is to keep a careful eye out for spelling and grammatical errors. I know it's easy to let them slip by when you're concentrating on committing a story to the page, but once the story is done, maybe develop a system of double-checking your work (put it away for a while and read it at a later date, some people read the story aloud to hear the mistakes, others read the writing backwards, or you can have the computer read it for you).

I wish you nothing but the best of luck going forward with this and your future writing.

[Nikhil Ranka]

Mr Madd-Fictional, is why we have editors. And you will most definitely make an excellent editor. While, I do understand your intent for doing this. It's odd that you write so much about the errors and so little about the beauty in the story. Perhaps, the beauty deludes your eyes, since you have conditioned them to be those of a critics' rather than an artists'. In any case, I shall most definitely avail your services some day. Take Care. :)

[Mira]

Thank you so much Madd-Factional, this is really what I was looking for, I knew I had some flaws, and you were honest enough to point them out to me. I'll make sure to proofread my pieces in the future before I publish them!

[Madd-Fictional]

@ Nikhil - the word you were looking for was "elude" as in "fail to be grasped" not "delude" as in "impose a misleading belief upon someone". Everyone reviews in their own way, and it should be noted that the author took no issue with my comments, especially as they were not presented or meant in a mean spirited way.

[anonymousprankt]

Literally the stroy is just one of finest mixture of hopes and dreams of child. The child from whose eyesight the World is quiet a lot different from real that they can even high by seeing just a small simple natural phenomenon; The vision that is even far better than a writer, poet, artist.. Simply beautiful story ma'm. Bonus what i like impressive is the ultimate use of "or" e.g. 'The moment or two', 'a penny or two'....... Salute to YOU ma'm!

[Mira]

Wow, thank you so much! This is great feedback for the future :) I will be posting more short stories and perhaps some poems in the future. Make sure to check them out!
Mira.