Misunderstanding.

      Ramona was sweating profusely in the scorching heat of the sun.She was standing in the parking lot of the university.She called her fiance,Effron telling him about his favourite chocolate brownie that she had just bought him and was waiting for him in the parking lot.Effron said,''Sorry Ramona,I'm in my French class, can't miss it.You enjoy! Bye.''

      Some of the girls of university were jealoused of Ramona's relation with Effron.While Ramona was looking sadly at her mobile screen one of the girls said,''Ahh..well.there are lots of pretty girls in the university,why would Effron look at the ugly ones? Haha'',she said casting Ramona an evil eye.They laughed enjoying Ramona's expressions.Ramona left immediately.
      Days passed,and Ramona felt Effron was really changing.Everytime she tried going close to him,he made some excuse and told her he was busy.This made Ramona really tensed.One day Effron even insulted her in the class only when she had asked him for some of his time.''Is Effron really changing or is it me,the one who's over-reacting?'' Ramona thought.
      Then one afternoon in the university,Effron came to Ramona,held her hands and said looking in the eye,''Ramona,it's been long since i last gave you a surprise.So..come to my home this evening.I have a surprise for you'',he smiled.Ramona wanted to jump and scream and laugh! That made her really happy.''Sure'',she replied smiling.They held eachother's gaze for a couple of minutes,then left.
      Ramona was getting ready.She wore black eye-shadow and a beautiful red lipstick.And her diamond necklace that suited her alot.She kept on smiling all the time.Ramona was now ready.She sat in the car and the engine roared to life!
      She pressed the bell button.And somebody acquired on the intercom,''who is it?'' ''It's me,Ramona'',she said.The door opened and a maid servant appeared.''Madam,Mr.Effron isn't home'',she told Ramona.''What! He isn't home?!'',Ramona said in disappointment.While she was just turning back,she caught a glimpse of Effron watching T.V.Saying nothing,Ramona left in a fit of rage.
      Once she reached home,she went running to her mother's room.She took off her beautiful engagement ring and threw it away.It fell down with a thud on the wooden floor where it lay silently.Ramona cried and told her mother that she broke off with Effron.Her mother was very disturbed to see Ramona in such a condition.Ramona told her mom everything and asked her not to see Effron at all or not to listen to him even if he calls or comes here himself! She then rushed upstairs to her room.
      Ramona had never felt so much pain in her entire life.She was heart-broken.She felt absolutely awful.As if a storm had come and it took away everything from her..She was torn into pieces..But soon she started going out.And changed her university.She started hanging out with her new friends.And life became quite normal for her..
Nine months passed.
      Ramona's mother was getting ready for a marriage one day and asked Ramona to accompany her.Ramona agreed.
      In the glittery environment of the marriage,Ramona was amazed to see ''Two Effrons'' instead of one.Only a discerning eye could tell that the other was slightly taller than Effron.The other one started walking towards Ramona and she soon had butterflies in the stomach.
      ''Hi Ramona'',he said.''Hi'',she tried to smile.''I am Jack.Jack Smith,Effron's brother.Ramona,i'm sorry you might not even want to listen to me right now but it's important because my brother is very important to me.. after that day when you came to our house,my brother stayed very upset,everytime he tried to talk,neither you nor your mother replied but once she only told us that you saw Effron in home that day.His life really turned bad.But all I want to say is that day when you came,it was me whom you saw.Effron was out,preparing for your surprise,he got a little late.I'm sorry Ramona we never had a chance to meet as I was in England for my studies'',he said. Ramona did know Effron had a brother but never knew he is a "twin brother." Ramona slumped into the sofa,sobbing.

Reviews

[Border]

Dear Mirab.
Salutations from an Indian, on the excellent short story that has been penned with sensitivity and not a single line appears artificial.
You have a great talent that is waiting to be brought on the world stage.
I can foresee that you will indeed write a breezy novel, that would sell at Airports, for passengers to read on a 3 hour flight. You have an easy way of writing, and mind you, it is very difficult to write with ease, that is an effortless read.
Keep it up.
You will become one of the leading Pakistani writers in the times to come.

[Syed Zeeshan Haider]

Its an excellent short story no doubt. A nice start and a nice ending and quite different and unique too. A little bit more detail about the scenario of situation would make it look more orignal. Btw i Really like the name Effron.

[Mirab Irfan]

Zeeshan,thankyou very much.I will surely work on that area in the next story.Haha.And Effron is my favourite.Thankyou.

[Border]

Dear Mirab.
Salutations from an Indian, on the excellent short story that has been penned with sensitivity and not a single line appears artificial.
You have a great talent that is waiting to be brought on the world stage.
I can foresee that you will indeed write a breezy novel, that would sell at Airports, for passengers to read on a 3 hour flight. You have an easy way of writing, and mind you, it is very difficult to write with ease, that is an effortless read.
Keep it up.
You will become one of the leading Pakistani writers in the times to come.

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Yes, a big misunderstanding. Good story. :) Rudi

[sinNsincerity]

Wow, nice ending. I feel so bad for Romana...

[Tom McRoberts]

A few grammar issues which I'm sure you'll edit out in future revisions. A well written piece, Mirab. You might want to consider mediating your descriptions a bit so they're less clinical and more involving. For instance, don't say Ramona is sweating, instead describe the sweat running down her face/instead of just saying she's wearing eye shadow describe the effect that has--the reader will be able to understand your intention and also get a more concrete image of the scene.

[Bushra Naqshbandi]

Nicely written, Mirab. The story was intriguing and especially the part where she saw his brother and thought it was him. I got so confused and interested. :) The ending was also great. A great write! Keep up the good work. :)

[Mirab Irfan]

Thankyou so much Bushra.Glad that you liked it :)

[R Smith]

poor Ramona, that was some surprise i guess, you wrote this very well, will make a good chapter if you plan to make a book, excellent :)

[Mirab Irfan]

Richard,thankyou so much.Means alot :)

[Willard Wells]

Well I really like this work A chapter or standing alone it delivers a complete story and suspense at the end. Thank you for sharing your work.

[Mirab Irfan]

Thankyou so much Willard! :)

[wordman]

this is a great chapter,and covered the fact of mean people

[Mirab Irfan]

Thankyou so much :)