I will go on.

A brief motivational poem for me and anyone else going through a lot of pain.

I will be strong.

I will go on.

Even on my worst days,

When I think it'd be better just to die,

I will remember all the people who love me,

And the tears they'd shed if I left.

So I will pick myself up,

And even when I feel as if I have no emotion,

I will go through the motions.

And when I go to sleep,

Hoping I never wake up,

I remember all the people who have fought for me,

And all the heavy hearts I'd shatter with my death.

And when I look in the mirror,

Hating everything I see,

I imagine a world where I left,

And see that it wouldn't solve anything.

So I tell myself I am strong,

I tell myself I will go on.

I will go on.

I will do it for my mother,

Who couldn't take it if I didn't.

I will do it for my father,

Who'd hate to see my life become shorter than his.

I will do it for my brothers,

Who'd never stop feeling my absence.

I will do it for my friends,

Who'd only blame themselves.

I will do it for me,

Who'd be just another flash of wasted potential.

Author's Note

Sorry for such a sad poem, I'd love to say this is one of the one's that aren't about my personal emotions, but sadly I cannot. It's just a rough emotional draft, so I apologize for it not being my best work. My depression has just been so bad lately, and this kind of describes one of the things I do when I'm contemplating suicide. When I feel ending my life, I actually play out a sequence of events in my head about if I did, and let me tell you, if you do it realistically like I do, it's not pretty. Just thinking about what my mother, whose already suffering from severe depression as well, would do if I died... It gives me shivers. And my little brother whose turning eight in a week, I don't even want to imagine what it'd do to him. And those are just two of the many people who love me. So yeah, for me it helps to remember that if I am but a pebble dropped into the pond of misery, there will no doubt be ripples, ripples that disturb the water much more and much longer than the actual splash.

Also I am getting help, in fact I am going to see my counselor today, so there's no need to urge me to speak up about it.