Helping People

The little things that matter.

It's strange to help people. I'm used to ignoring them, or worse.
Let's not get into worse.
Today I'm helping this old lady find her cat. This b***h is annoying, always talking about stuff I don't need to know. I know old people get like this, but I'd rather she just die now.
But whatever. I'm getting paid for it, so it'll be worth it in the end.
I can see it now. Booze, ladies, orgies, and men getting mad at my f*****g skills.
All lust energy is good energy, especially the kind with wrath inside it. It makes my murder ability rise with passion and pleasure.

"There she is!" The old lady screams.

Ugh. I hate high pitched noises. I look at the old lady, and see her pointing at a white cat across the street, chilling on top of a garbage can.
Easy enough. I use my magic to form a portal under it, and form the other portal above the old lady's arms.
The cat squeals in shock, then stops abruptly when she lands in the lady's arms.

"Have a nice day!" I say.

Then I walk away as quickly as-

"Lucius!" Someone I know very well yells angrily.

Nope. I start running.

"I'm not doing anything else!" I yell.

I won't help her anymore. Never!
Ack! What's happening?! Pain, being restrained, make it stop.
Footsteps around me, then a brown hand lifts my head up.
A sexy woman with dark chocolate skin and long flowing, blonde hair is looking at me with disdain clear on her face.

"What's up sunshine?" I ask, failing to keep the pain out my voice.
It comes out a little hoarse.

"Why are you running away from your duty?" She asks.

"I shouldn't have to deal with dumb s**t like this girl. I mean come onnnn. I take on Gods, this is so below me."

"You have to help the streets too Lucius. Nobody's too big to pick up trash."

"You say that now, but if I remember right, there actually was a certain giant who tried to, and he accidentally picked up the city block with it."

"Um excuse me!" She snaps. "For your information, he still managed to throw it away."

"Whatever. Can you stop this now, please?" I beg.

"Since you said please."

She pulls out a small remote and presses a button on it, and the pain stops.
I stand up and smile.

"Got any decent work for me?" I ask.

"The soup kitchen two blocks east needs help heating the soup up, their ovens broke."

"Oh come on!" I yell. "That's bullshit work! Give me a challenge, for God's sake!"

"B***h move!" She yells back.

She shoves me back a step and pulls out a sawed off shotgun.

"Play games today Jacob! I mean Lucius-F**K YOU, GET TO WORK!" She screams hysterically.

I hold my hands up and begin walking to the soup kitchen. She doesn't stop pointing her gun at me till I'm out of sight. I assume anyway.
Such bullshit. Why do I roll with such a b***h? Her a*s is great and those tits my god!
But for real though. Why do I do this?
I smile as I remember why.
August is my friend, and so is Jacob. She might be a b***h, but it's only cause money's involved-
Wait. Why is there money involved at a soup kitchen? And an old lady's cat-
Actually nah, August would definitely charge an old lady for that and for me to help warm some soup up.
I arrived at the kitchen.
Huz f*****g zah.
I walk through the s****y door and enter the pitiful place. Homeless people waiting patiently for their food, some even eating it cold. How disgusting. I hate weak humans.

"Thank God you're here!" Someone shouts.

I turn towards the voice, and see a beautiful red head with skin the color of snow speckled with cute brown dots and a body that puts the bust into busty.

"How can I help sunshine?" I ask, smiling.

"Warm up the soup, these poor souls need it." She replies.

"Got it."

I walk past her, sidestepping a stain on the ground that's green.
Ew.
I look at the giant pot of soup. These things always seemed more like barrels to me than cookware. Why do they need something so big to cook liquid? Liquid food is the worst.
I snap my fingers, and make my signature evil flames, which are a delightful neon green with black edges, form under the pot.

"Thank you so much!" She gushes.

"Oh, it's no problem, I assure you." I lie, spectacularly.

"Will you help me?" Trash asks.

"Ummmm-"

Wait! If I help him, it would guarantee a seduction here.

"It depends, I'm not a God." I answer.

"I have cancer and-"

"Nope. Cancer has been the devil of the unimensions for centuries, no one can help you but doctors." I answer quickly.

There goes my seduction bonus.

"Awww, Wilbur, I'm sorry. I really wish someone could help you."

I teleport home cause f**k this s**t.
There's a package on my bed.
I walk over to it and inspect it, and find a note from August.

'A thank you for your work today, however insignificant it was. With love, August.'

Love, ha! What does she know? A sociopath doesn't know what it is.
I open it up and find disap-
Oh my god. It's a empty box. That f*****g b***h.

Author's Note

Criticism is welcome.