The Cloud Goddess

Another look into the short life of the Cloud Goddess.

The Cloud Goddess 

By John K. Brierley 

It all began with smoke. We didn’t question their need to be warm. We admired their ability to do so much with fire. But their progress was too slow. They always wanted more. We didn’t mind. We understood their need for progress. But they went too far. It continued with coal. They progressed, and we suffered. They produced these black clouds. They cried out in pain, and poisoned us. 

My brothers and sisters began to cough. And hack. And puke. Which hurt the humans, but not enough to stop them. 

Then they found oil. That cursed fluid made from dead creatures. They should’ve known it was cursed. Those damn, angry creatures. They struck out at everything. The Earth, the humans, us, everything. The humans called it pollution, and ignored it. 

They learned caution when they dropped the bombs. Everyone died. The humans learned, and in all that time, only one mistake was made. We forgave them for it.  

We were close to a decision. Act, or be surpassed. 

We were passed so quickly, it was ludicrous. And now we were dying so fast. 

I cried for a long time. I caused floods. My brothers and sisters were angry, and they tried to destroy the humans. But there was too many. And we couldn’t reach them. We tried so hard. 

And failed. 

In human years, it was the 2500s when it came to me. A large rain drop, slowly glowing a blue light. 

“I am vengeance.” Was all it said. 

I didn’t have physical form until the moment I heard that word. 

Vengence. 

I reached out my hand, and grabbed it. 

I exploded in blue light, and when I glowed, I made my form complete. 

In human measurements, I was 10 feet tall. I gave myself large breasts, a shapely bottom, and long, slender legs. I made my skin pale, my lips blue, my eyes white, and my hair a long black, down to my hips. 

I made myself a goddess to mankind. 

And then it whispered to me my name, and my title. And never spoke again. 

“Your name is Sarah, and you are The Cloud Goddess.” 

I held my hand to the sun, and as I changed my fingernails to black, I formed another ocean above me within seconds. 

And then I drowned the humans. I destroyed their cities, I reveled in their screams, I loved to choke them with their own blood. 

Then everything changed. 

I rested for a fortnight in a great lake. And when I awoke, a young man with beautiful green eyes and a black arm stood before me. 

Day 1 

After the emergency services rescued this doomed planet, I was called in. I’ve been asked to keep a journal for some f*****g reason. I have to write out everything that happens with The Cloud Goddess.  

She’s gorgeous for sure. Even if she looks like a Barbie doll.  

Could be her anger at humanity drove her to appear to them like God, and smite them. 

Well, in this case, drown. 

She’s strong, but you when you call in the ultimate badass, strong doesn’t mean sit. 

She’s not one for conversation. I hope I don’t have to kill her. 

“Hey, I’m Jacob Deareix. I come from another dimension to calm you down.” He said, smiling. 

He was so handsome, even then, though all my hatred just made me think ‘If he wasn’t a human, he would’ve been handsome.’ 

His hair is so black, and stark against his face. His skin wasn’t tan, but it wasn’t pale either. 

“Die human!” I screamed. 

I commanded the blood in his veins to boil, and burn through him.  

And it did…nothing. He just flashed a toothy grin, and continued talking. 

“Listen bud, humans fucked you over, I understand, but mindless slaughter is only right against evil armies.” 

He laughed, and put his hands in his pockets. 

He wears all black, and a ridiculous trenchcoat with some weird ornamental L shaped things on his shoulders. 

“Shut up. Die.” I growled. 

I stood up, and towered over him. 

“Wow, you’re tall as hell.” He exclaimed. 

I closed my eyes in annoyance, and threw my hand behind me, and willed a wave to form behind me. 

“Your control over water is impressive. Can you please relax, and talk to me?” He asked. 

His voice had a pleading tone to it. 

I hated it. 

I threw the wave at him. He sighed, and mumbled something as a dome of ice formed around him. I tried to manipulate the ice, but nothing happened. 

“Interesting.” He said. “You can’t control H20 molecules born from magic.” 

I roared in hatred, and increased the pressure of the water, and focused it all on him. 

He disappeared in a red haze. 

I realized at that moment, Jacob was no ordinary human. 

“Quezacotyl!” He yelled. 

I looked up, and he was above me, lightning was falling down towards me. I jumped into the air, barely dodging the lightning bolt. Jacob was falling towards me, rapidly flipping in the air. 

“Fool!” I yelled. 

I made water in my hands, and turned it into a geyser, shooting boiling water up at Jacob. He flipped forward extremely fast, becoming a blur as he drove his heels through the geyser, sending droplets of water all around. I willed the drops into bullets, and formed a sphere of droplets around him. 

Unfortunately, it was a bit late for that, because by the time they were halfway into a sphere, his heels were smashing me in the back of the head, and sent me flying into the ground. 

It hurt, but I was more amazed by his sheer power. With his power, he made a mile wide crater with my body as the meteor. 

But the humans couldn’t destroy me with nuclear bombs, how could that stop me? 

Then I noticed the lake’s water was in the air, and falling down towards me at the speed of rain. 

I held my hand up, and stopped it. 

Jacob landed beside me, and smiled. 

“As Ocelot says, you’re pretty good. I’ll try again tomorrow.” 

He vanished in a red haze, and I laid on the ground. I was scared. And excited. 

Day 2 

Today I fought the Goddess again. It’s obvious we’re testing each other’s abilities. We’re both impressed with the other.  

We talked a bit before we fought. 

“What’s your name?” He asked me. 

“Sarah. My title is the Cloud Goddess.” I replied. 

I hadn’t moved from the crater since the day before. I didn’t want to. 

He stared at me for a few seconds before talking again. 

“You’re naked.” He finally said. 

“You’re a child, aren’t you?” I complained. 

“Nope, a teenager.” He corrected. 

I moaned my disapproval to him being a hormonal human. My knowledge of humans told me this teenager only wanted to stick his manhood in me. 

How wrong I was. 

“Why do you stay naked? If you take human form, you must feel the cold.” He asked. 

I stared at him, and saw the concern on his face. 

“Cold is for weaklings.” I stated. 

I stood up at last, and willed a huge ball of water to form behind me. 

“Looks about the size of a spirit bomb.” Jacob remarked. 

“IFRIT ULTIMAGUS!” He yelled. 

He threw a hand up, and a ball of flame formed in his hand, the same size as mine. His face turned into grimace as he made it grow to the same size as mine. He jumped slightly, and flipped forward, kicking the fireball at me.  

I couldn’t help but grin back as I made my ball of water collide with his ball of fire, and create a storm of steam. 

I flew away in the steam. 

That day, was the first time I took the lead. 

Day 3 

Nothing interesting. Sarah and I are just talking. 

“Why do we fight?” Jacob asked. 

“Because humanity is evil.” I explained. 

He sighed, and pulled out a cigarette. He formed a fire in his hand, and put the cigarette in his mouth. He lit the cigarette, and blew out a small cloud of smoke. 

The cloud laughed maniacally as it disappeared, whispering insanity and death. 

“Well, I don’t like fighting you.” 

“Well, I like trying to kill you.” 

Even then, I agreed. 

Jacob was just so lovable. Even as I tried to crush him, I knew I didn’t like the fight either. 

Day 4 

Today the scientists complained about my lack of details. I asked for a raise. They refused. I refused to give large amounts of details. Sarah and I talked today. 

We sat down in the lake, amidst the water lilies, and discussed my situation that day. 

“Either I get you to surrender, and you get locked away for a century or stay here, locking this dimension away, or you die.” 

“Those are my options?” 

“There’s too much going on for it to change. I’m sorry Sarah. But in this life of ours, there’s always someone stronger.” 

His cigarette hung loosely from his lip. Burning away slowly. 

“These things are inevitable. There’s too much that is just as powerful as you, or stronger.” Jacob said. 

He looked down at the ground. That inevitability affected everyone, even him. But he still fights. 

Even today.  

We sat in silence for the rest of that day. We were too depressed to fight. 

Day 5 

I broke the General’s nose today. 

He’s gonna try to get me arrested, but jokes on him. My contract lets me do anything to any employers or their employees when they threaten me. 

The Goddess laughed when I told her about it. I think, at this point, I won’t have to kill her. 

“You want to hear a story?” Jacob asked. 

“Sure.” I replied. 

“So awhile back, I was walking down the street, just doing my own thing, when a thought hit me. And sent me into the deepest introspection I’ve ever been in.” 

Jacob sighed, and took a hit of his cigarette. 

“The question was ‘If the unimensions is infinite, does that mean there is always an infinite number of evil?’ I spent a whole day on that street, questioning my life.” 

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked. 

We were laying side by side on a beach that day. I think a seagull flew over us. 

“I make hard decisions all the time. I decided that I’ll be an anonymous number, fighting an infinite supply.” 

His eyes were beautiful that day. 

“Jacob. What is the unimensions?” 

“It’s short for universe of dimensions.” 

“Hey Jacob?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Knock knock.” 

“Whose there?” 

“Your mom.” 

“Oh s**t! Gotta hide the weed!” 

Jacob laughed for a moment but then stopped when he noticed I wasn’t laughing. 

“You don’t know what weed is?” He asked. 

“No. Not at all. What is it?” 

He looked away from me and coughed. 

“Don’t worry about it. It’s something for people that need more to life than the normal sense of it.” 

We sat in silence for a moment before my thoughts couldn’t leave me alone. 

“Am I evil?” I finally asked. 

“No.” 

He said it so quickly, so certainly, it made me feel better about myself. Just enough to make me smile. 

He smiled back. 

We jumped away at the same time, and rushed in at each other in the next second. He tried to punch me. I tried to stab him with an ice pick. He caught my ice pick. I froze his other hand in place. 

These fights of ours were becoming routine, always ending in draws. 

This was my life. I was happy…I think. 

Day 6 

They want me to bring along one of their boys. I want a raise. They said no. I told the General to eat a f*****g dick. Threats were exchanged, and delivered on. I destroyed their robot with no problems. The Goddess said she saw all this through a bit of water she left on me. 

I’d complain but…I don’t mind. 

“Why do you wear the same outfit every day, Jacob?” I asked. 

That day we sat together on a cliff, overlooking a ocean. The clouds covered up the sky, giving a gray tone to the day, but it was still a nice sight. 

“Protocol. Heroes that get paid are required to wear the same general outfit so we can be easily recognized. It’s kinda annoying.” 

“Humans are weird.” 

“Superheroes are weird. Regardless of race or species, we’re all obsessed with being recognized. For our strengths, and never our weaknesses.” 

He smiled when he said this.  

I knew right then, Jacob was proud of being a anonymous number against an endless threat. 

I felt regrets for my actions that day. 

Not enough to change me. But enough to daydream. 

Daydream about being a hero. Helping people. 

Helping Jacob. 

Day 7 

I think I’m beginning to reach Sarah. I’ve begun trying to guarantee her a life after jail. I’ve learned so far that if I put her in my care for the rest of my life, she will only spend 1 year in jail. 

Maybe…if I pay a lot of money. 

Problem is that I don’t have that money. 

I hate this. So much. I just want a happy ending for a change. 15 years old, and I know more dead people than living. 

Jacob laid his head down on my lap that day. His face kept smiling, then frowning like he was stuck between a dream and the ground. I remember brushing his hair out of his face. 

I love his eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” I asked. 

“I might have to leave…to make the best ending possible. Maybe.” 

I don’t…remember much. 

Jacob said I freaked out, and that he barely calmed me down. He also said South America was gone. 

Jacob was filled with ice spikes in so many parts of his body. 

But what brought me out of my rage…Jacob was almost dead so he fulfilled a fantasy of his. 

He kissed me. 

And I… 

Fulfilled my own fantasy. 

I learned a lot that day. 

Jacob’s a Sin Angel, a human bonded with a devil by the use of demon skin. That explained why Jacob’s left arm is black and leathery. 

It was interesting to watch the skin heal him. It crawled all over him, sometimes leaking out from his pores, and when it ran over a wound, when it moved off, it would be fully healed. Those wounds I caused him were gone with such suddenness, I almost forgave myself. 

Almost. 

His devil’s name is Lilith. She claims to be the Mother of Sin, but Jacob has doubts about it. He said that because of how vast the unimensions is, there may be no such thing as originality anymore.  

Lilith is a pale woman with long black hair, covered in her own demon skin. Her eyes are red, but sometimes…I can swear that her eyes are red because of the blood flowing behind them but her skin, sometimes it would be like tinted glass with the blood turning her skin a light pink. 

Jacob said he probably wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon. Though he wanted to. 

“It’ll make life much easier.” He explained. 

He refused to explain how. I slapped him, and stormed off. 

Day 8 

This isn’t supposed to happen. The Goddess is supposed to hate humans.

 

I couldn’t bring myself to hurt Jacob that day. All I could do was scream at him to leave me alone. 

My hatred for humans was stronger, but now it hurts. I let my emotions get the better of me. 

I realized that day I had fell for Jacob. Who was still human, underneath that black skin. 

I hid at the bottom of the ocean, away from Jacob. 

Day 9 

All this time is for nothing. The Goddess is being uncooperative. It’s getting to me. I can’t deny I deserve this, but I need to help her. 

Jacob sat across from me, covered in a ice suit. He had to burn ice constantly, turning it into steam to be able to breath. 

“This really is a stressful situation. It’s understandable that we’d attach to each other.” He said. 

He sounded like he was repeating a sentence he’s heard and told thousands of times. 

I remember just nodding a lot. It explained a lot. Or so I lied to myself. 

“Jacob. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay.” 

Day 10 

The Goddess and I fought again. 

After a night of thinking, I had decided to kill Jacob again. 

That day, it wasn’t going well. 

I had him trapped in a skyscraper sized water ball, at freezing temperatures, and he made blue fires, turning it into steam. 

“Steam steam steam! You’re always turning my attacks into steam.” I screamed angrily. 

“Quit being a punk a*s ho!” He yelled back. 

I flew in, and swam at high speeds towards Jacob, forming a ice spike in my hand. I try to stab him with it, and he catches my hand. I tried to make his blood boil, and it did nothing. He throws me out of the water. 

I swear he lit a cigarette in that water. And his attack’s hurt, and he’s barely trying. He hurt me while looking so badass. 

“Yo Sarah! You done yet?” Jacob asks. 

He smiled at me as he pulled a spike out. 

His eyes were amazing that day. 

“Yeah. I’m done.” 

He exhaled loudly, and laid down on the ground. 

“Sarah, I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’ve gotten used to you being naked.” 

I laughed for a long time. 

“I’ve gotten used to how short you are too.” I replied. 

He jumped up with an adorably angry look on his face. 

“F**k you! At least I don’t look like a Barbie doll!” He yelled. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I yelled back. 

“You have no n*****s, no vagina, and I’m pretty sure you have no anus either!” 

We were silent for a moment before I asked the question. 

“What are those things?” I asked. 

He stared at me, and laughed. He then fell to the ground. And laughed. For a long time. A very long time. A very very long time. He kept stopping, then looking at me, and laughing again. 

I kicked him in the jaw. 

“Ow, you b***h.” 

He pulled out a black card, and it transformed into a large book. He threw it to me. 

“If you’re gonna take a human form, take this and study the human body.” 

“I hate humans.” 

“No n****e b***h.” 

I formed an intensely pressurized hand made of water, and smacked him into the sky. 

“Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttt!” He yelled as he went flying away. 

Then I sat down, and opened the book. It was a enlightening read. 

Day 11 

I brought Sarah clothes today. Don’t worry about it. 

I laughed a lot that day. Starting with Jacob’s reaction to my new look. My body was perfect. All the human benefits, and none of the negatives, like periods. Disgusting. 

Jacob had froze when he saw me. I could feel the blood rushing down to his manhood. He quickly turned around, adjusted his manhood, and yelled at me. 

“Put some damn clothes on!” 

“Thought you were used to me being naked!” I retorted. 

I laughed at his growling, and was shocked when he threw a black card at me. Suddenly, I was in black pants and a black shirt. 

I groaned at his lack of fashion sense. 

“Ugh, Jacobbbb. Don’t you have even the littlest bit of fashion sense?” 

“Do you suck dick?” 

“What!? No ew gross! I hate humans!” I screamed. 

“Then no, I don’t.” 

I glared at him. He glared at me. I threw the ocean at him. He teleported behind me, and dropkicked me into the ocean. 

We fought, and during the fight, I thought about how casual and friendly we’ve become. The pressure was still there, but muted. 

Day 12 

My employer finds my friendship with Sarah unpleasant. I find it annoying I’m trying to find a peaceful end to this, and he’s so damn impatient. August found the job I need. I’ll be leaving soon. 

Jacob explained what will happen after he leaves. That he’ll finish this job, come back, pay off his employer, and go to a really nice jail. In fact, when he told me about the jail, I thought it was a bit too nice for punishment until I heard the story behind it. 

“So my friend August Caeser is ridiculous. She’s insanely smart, and uses equally ridiculous weapons, which she mainly keeps in her jacket, which she calls ‘Arms of War.’ But that’s another story. We’re focusing on what got her her own personal jail of her choosing. August uses these bullets, which she calls ‘Endless.’ They’re bullets given the ability to constantly rebuild itself, and never stop bouncing. It will bounce off of any non-sentient being, and every bounce will make it move faster and faster. It starts at Mach 1, and within a half hour of bouncing, it’s at light-speed, and goes beyond. Because of her intelligence, she’s the only person known to master them, and while we’ve found some close to her level, no one is at her level with them. She’s so smart, she knows where they’ll be at any moment by analyzing the path, angles, vibrations in the room, anything that could affect its course, and use that to change the path to her needs from an explosion to simply tapping her foot.” 

“She has anger issues, especially when called weak, or when someone says they’re proud of her. She’s complicated. Because of this, she’s a very very wanted criminal who they couldn’t beat. So they reached an agreement, of sorts. August gets a personal jail to live in, and can only leave with someone in our group, and they stop sending men and women to their deaths.” 

She’s really intense. 

Jacob told me he’d be leaving in three days, and probably won’t be back for at least half a year. 

“That’s a really long time.” I complained. 

“Yeah, but it’ll be worth it, trust me.” 

I stayed quiet for a little bit. Jacob eventually jumped onto my lap, and attempted to hug me. He couldn’t reach me because of my breasts. I laughed, and pulled him into me, wrapping my arms around him, and smothering him with my breasts. 

I won’t lie. There were definitely some ulterior motives here, such as actually smothering him to death. And to reestablish my continued attraction to him. 

He forcibly removed himself from my grip, breathing heavily. 

I admired him for a moment before giggling. 

“You’re so short.” 

He tried to insult me, but started coughing, and I started laughing. 

In the next instant, he was behind me, grabbing my hair, and began spinning me in circles at high speeds. 

“Weeeeeeeeee!” I screamed. 

He let go of me, and I went flying into the distance. 

It’s one of my favorite memories for some reason. 

Day 13 

I’ve finalized the details. Sarah will be left alone while I’m gone. She will be given to me once I pay off my employer. 

Two more days. 

“Guess that means I have two more days to kill you.” 

Jacob gasped, and it was by far, the stupidest sound I ever heard. 

“My word. The nerve of you child. We’re not fighting.” 

“Child” I scoffed” I’m way older than you are, teenager.” 

“B***h, we’re in the unimensions. Age disappeared when immortality became common.” 

“Immortality is common now?” 

“Yeah, it’s really easy to get, all you need is-“ 

I don’t remember much of this day beyond that. I don’t even remember where we were. I just remember the topics we discussed. 

We talked about the future. My jobs, my responsibilities, and my new friends. I was going to be a bounty hunter slash anti-hero. It honestly sounded pretty fun. 

 

Day 14 

I don’t like what’s happening here in one way, but in another, surely Sarah can’t be killed easily. 

I only remember one thing about this day. 

The end of it. 

We were sitting on the beach, his head in my lap, as I played with his hair, when I decided to change something. 

“Jacob, I’ve decided what you said was total bullshit. There’s no stress or pressure here. We’re sparring partners who are attracted to each other. That’s it, your stupid speech was completely irrelevant.” 

“You’re right.” He replied. 

“What? That’s it? Nothing? No arguments?” 

“Too tired to argue something I can’t win. Too tired. You’ll have to lean down to kiss me.” 

And I did. It was a good beginning. 

Day 15 

I’ll be back for Sarah. Until then, I hope you people leave her alone. You will answer to me otherwise. 

 

“Well, they’ll be here in a few minutes.” Jacob said. 

“So soon. They sure do work fast.” 

“Try not to be shocked.” 

“Shocked by what?” 

Then a subway train just came flying by us but what was really insane was where it came from. Just this hole in existence just appeared and there was nothing inside it. Nothing. Just all blackness. It messed me up pretty badly. 

“What the f**k was that crazy s**t!?”I screamed. 

“Calm down, they were just traveling through the border between dimensions.” 

“Oh yeah, I’ll calm down when we realize that isn’t supposed to even exist! The light didn’t even nudge it, it’s shouldn’t exist. It’s f*****g insane, and you know it!” 

The subway train stopped beside me mid screaming, and standing there, trying not to laugh, was August Caeser and Lucius Dehaviell, Jacob’s best friends. 

Though it can be argued his friendship with August isn’t by choice. 

August is a beautiful black girl, with a body that’s curves are large and demand to be noticed. Her hair is long and blonde, flowing down to float just above her buttocks. 

Heh. Buttocks is a funny word. 

She wore a black skin suit with thousands of red lines crisscrossing on it. She had two Colt revolvers, one on each hip in a black leather holster. 

Lucius wore a black coatee with a red inside and red buttons, without the silly fur around the shoulders, unbuttoned with a red shirt that had a gold tongue on it, black pants with a small red star with a circle around it, and black boots. 

“Why do you all wear the same color scheme?” I asked. 

They looked at each other, then themselves. 

“F**k you Sarah, I wear all black thank you!” Jacob angrily responded. 

August and Lucius just let their heads fall in shame. 

“I have no idea.” August whispered. 

“It was just how I liked to dress.” Lucius mumbled. 

Jacob smacked his lips in annoyance, then cracked his neck with a quick twist of his neck. 

“Hey Sarah, this is Lucius and August, guys, Sarah.”  

We shook hands, then it became clear who was the leader here. 

“We’re losing time Jacob, we have to go.” August commanded. 

She went back into the train. Lucius looked at the train, then at me, then at Jacob. 

“You’ve got five minutes. It was nice meeting you Sarah.” He said. 

Then he went back into the train as well. 

Jacob turned to me, and frowned slightly. 

“Sarah, there’s something I lied to you about, and I need to tell you if you’re going to survive.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I have a curse or something about me. Whenever I get romantically involved with someone, they normally…die. It’s happened too much to be a coincidence, but you’re really powerful, so you should be fine. But still, be careful.” 

“I will.” 

He began to say something, but at that moment I decided to speed things up. I scooped him up, and kissed him. Then I threw him into the train. He was so shocked, it was adorable. He didn’t even have enough time to reach the window to wave bye, but it was so funny seeing him try. 

I don’t know what to say. It’s been awhile since Jacob’s been back.  

My only entertainment has been this phone that Jacob gave me, and don’t get me wrong, Netflix, and everything else the internet has to offer is great, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m bored. 

Jacob has finished the job, but has gone on radio silence because that method of transportation they use makes their travel seem a lot faster, but not really. I couldn’t understand it at all when Jacob tried to describe it to me. Something about wrinkles in time but yet it eventually unwrinkles. 

That freaking train. 

Wait, what’s that? It sounds like the wind but there isn’t even a breeze. The grass is flying around me now, my hair is going in all directions, what is this? There’s a slight blue blur in this tornado, but who is causing- 

 

“Mad Lucius being a b***h and staying home.” I say. 

“He says he has to regenerate his lust powers with lots of orgies. Bet $50 he jerks himself off before getting laid.”August replies. 

“I’ll take that bet.” 

I’m nervous. It’s been so long since I saw Sarah. Half a year. To her it’ll be almost a year. She must be so lonely. Ugh, I miss her. Hopefully, this will all work out, and not be awkward. 

August smacks my head lightly with her hand. 

“Calm down, it’ll be fine. Look, we’re here.” 

The tear opens up, and we come rolling onto the nice green field I left Sarah on that day. But Sarah isn’t here. How rude.  

“Now we gotta look for her.” I complain. 

I pull out my phone, and go to her name in my contacts list, and call her. 

Ring ring. Pick up the phone. Wait a minute…what’s that sound? It’s about a mile off. I think it’s her phone. 

“Yo August! Super ears to the rescue. She’s this way, about a mile off.” 

“I’ll stay with the train. Last time we left the train alone, we had to kill people to get it back.” 

“Truuuueeeeee” I agree. 

I turn towards the phone, and kick the ground twice. Then I use my epic strength to do a motherfucking hulk jump across the field. 

Jacob Deatrix is the man who will go and get shittttt donnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Pick up the phone, who is it, it’s my pimp hand! 

I land on the ground, and chuckle at my jump song. 

Anyway, where’s that phone? 

I turn my head to the left, and see her phone.  

Sweet. But wait, where is she… 

She’s right there by the phone. But…her head is in her lap. Why is her head in her lap? 

“It happened again.” 

I pull out my phone and text August. 

August 

7:13 A.M. Shut the f**k up Jacob 

    Get over here fast, Sarah’s dead. 3:33 P.M. 

I hear August running from here, as I put my phone back up. 

Who killed you? 

“Mr. Deatrix, I believe you owe me some money.” 

I turn around, and there is my mysterious employer, in all blue, except for a blue helmet with a black visor and a small yellow metal line along the top of the visor. He has a large dagger in a holster on his left hip. 

“She’s dead. I’m gonna bury her and leave. Do you know who killed her?” 

Don’t say it. 

“I did. And if you want to live, you will give me my money.” He threatened. 

I laugh, even if it hurts to do it, but his threat is hilarious. 

“Kill me? Do you know who you’re f*****g with?” 

One blue blur later, and his knife is in my stomach. 

“Ouch.” 

“I’m dealing with a thug with some power.” He says. 

I laugh again, hurting even more.  

Damn you. 

“The Ultimate Badass, true, but I brought a guest. Can you guess her name?” 

I can feel the blade in me begin to shake, and can see him visibly shaking. 

“August Caeser. Oh God oh s**t oh f**k.” 

He lets go of the knife, and falls to the ground. I pull out the knife and smile, and kneel beside his shaking body. 

“Hey boss, wanna hear a plot twist?” 

I shove the knife into his nearest kneecap, and twist the knife, breaking his knee. 

“August hasn’t made it here yet.” 

I smile, and it must look disturbing to him. I pull out the knife, and do the same to the other knee. And then to his elbows. Then his shoulders. Then his heels. Then his finger joints. Well, I try, but the fingers just fall off. Then his wrists. Then his hips. 

“Jacob stop. He’s dead.” August says. 

I let go of the knife, and stand up, looking at August. 

“I hate this. I hate everything. I hate everything to do with this. I hate my life August, you were right for breaking up with me for calling you weak, at least you aren’t dead. I’m f*****g cursed, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Nothing.” 

I pull out a cigarette, and light the cigarette with the flame I make in my hands. I take a hard hit, and inhale it all. When I exhale, no smoke comes out. When I look at the cigarette, there is no cigarette, only the filter. I throw the filter aside. 

“Let’s just burn her, and head home.” 

“Burn her?” August asks. 

“She was once a cloud. She should go rejoin them.” 

I form a fireball in my hand, and toss it lightly onto her corpse. She burns quickly, and is gone quickly, like she was just smoke to begin with.  

I hear the wind that was her blood one last time. 

“Ya know August, it could be said this was inevitable.” 

“What do you mean? This isn’t your fault.” 

I hear something in the wind. Something like ‘okay’ but there’s just gibberish after that. 

“So I suppose it all begins with how I met Sarah. Legitly. To Sarah, we knew each other for about 15 days before I left right. In that time, we became attracted to each other, fought a lot, and now she’s dead. So why is it like this?” 

August steps in front of me, frowning. And a small bit of anger in her eyes. 

“To start with, we knew each other for 16 days before I left.” 

Day 0 

“I’ve just arrived to the area. Currently looking for The Cloud Goddess known as Sarah. I’ve been told to try to capture her alive if possible but if necessary, shoot to kill because she’s a force to be reckoned with. Honestly hoping for a good fight as everything for the last few weeks has been too easy.” 

“Then I found her, but she was just crying August. Crying by this polluted lake, and saying she’s sorry for not acting sooner. She’s trying so hard to fix this lake but it’s just impossible. Then she screams ‘No don’t give up’ but in that instant the lake turns black. It turns blacker than sin, and the smell just smells like a dead body in a lake. I couldn’t believe it. She’s just bawling and I need to know what happened cause we’ve been through this before. Normal plot line, naïve god blames the first people they see and turns out it’s something else.” 

“Yeah, like with Calypso and those pirates a year back. Turned out it wasn’t the pirates killing the krakens but it was Hades using them as weapons.” August chimes in. 

“Right. Anyway, this isn’t that at all. She turns and screams at me ‘Your damn oil coal dumb s**t killed him, that’s what!” and I’m like ‘What you mean ‘your oil’ b***h I run on magic power!’” 

“God d****t Jacob,” August curses. “This is why I don’t send you into diplomatic situations. You’re not good at it. Wait, but she was good when we met her so you must’ve learned something.” 

“Yeah, well I didn’t learn it till after the fight. She started off with-“ 

“Jacob, I don’t care about your fight at all.” August says. 

“Such a f*****g killjoy.” 

“B***h, I’ll destroy you.” 

“August I would-“ 

I stop midsentence and kick the ground. 

“Not right now, this is serious.” I tell August. 

August nods and gives me a little wave. I’m assuming that means continue so I’m continuing. 

“So in the middle of the fight we ended up in a pot farm and I didn’t notice it was a pot farm until I started throwing fireballs and all the weed was burning. It ended up getting us stoned as all get out and I ended up falling asleep in a corner while Sarah ended up covered in some unburnt pot.” 

“Is it all still there?” August asks. 

“I mean, I think so. I never went back there cause my focus was Sarah and I have my own stash.” 

“Let’s walk and talk, is it close to here?” 

“That’s the other thing. I have no idea cause we legitly fought all over this planet in a single day. Like she kept throwing me and I kept throwing her. All I know for sure was that it definitely was on this side of the planet.” 

“Legitly isn’t a word.” 

“Oh my f*****g god, my girlfriend just died and you’re deciding to be a grammar Nazi. I will f*****g-“ 

I stop midsentence again, but this time to scream in frustration. 

“God, calm down. Continue your damn story.” 

I growl in anger for a moment before continuing. 

“Anyway, so when I woke up Sarah was laying there, talking to the weed clouds. She was just giggling the whole time as she was rolling one of those marijuana leaf cigars, and when I went over to talk to her I was like ‘Yo, my name’s Jacob, and you’re really powerful. Can we talk and chill over this weed?’ and she laughed and said ‘Sure, why not?’ So we sat down and talked over a few marijuana leaf cigars. I asked how learned to do it and she told me that the clouds taught her how.” 

“What!?” August exclaims. “So all this time when you said the weed clouds made good jokes and we called you crazy-“ 

“Yup.” I interrupted. “The clouds were really telling good jokes.” 

“Anyway, so after I discovered I wasn’t crazy, I told her I could hear bits of what the clouds were saying but not much. She said something like ‘If you can understand the clouds, then you must know quite a few languages.’ And I do know quite a few languages so I told her that makes sense.” 

“After smoking for a bit, I asked her about how she felt about all the people she’d killed and she started to cry. I could hear the clouds telling her something like ‘Don’t cry, it’s okay’ but she whispered that what she did was wrong. I asked her about what the humans did, and quite frankly, they were the worst because they actually knew they were killing the planet but didn’t care. They were going all Native American about it, figuring out how to take the crust of the Earth and turn it into fuel. I told her she did the right thing, though perhaps to a bit of a large degree, but morally, she was right.” 

“We actually talked for a while about just anything in general but then my now former Employer showed up, Mr. Blue over there. He’s this general whose really fast but he wanted to take Sarah and recycle her power to use for his weapons and unfortunately, he almost succeeded. He ended up putting Sarah in this rage when he started running around us, killing the clouds of smoke.” 

“She snapped, and almost killed us both. I had to do something drastic. I had to make her forget.” 

“Jacob.” August whispered. “You did it again didn’t you? Your amnesia slice?” 

“I didn’t wanna kill her August. You and I both know the damage could’ve been undone, I just needed to get her to your place. And we almost did it. But thanks to this a*****e, Sarah is dead and once again, my curse continues.” 

“Jacob, you don’t have a curse. If there’s a curse, it’s our lifestyle. We go out and fight the things that no one else can or will. People die a lot. Unfortunately for you Jacob, you only date people that can handle themselves and are in our lifestyle. The only exception to this was Sarah, and she was gonna join us. So in the end, she was an expected casualty. Quit being dumb and blaming yourself.” 

August walks up to me, then to my surprise, wraps her arms around me. 

“You’re such a fool sometimes Jacob. Why do you do this to yourself? The world isn’t your responsibility.” 

“The unimensions is my responsibility August, and yours as well.” 

“You’re right. You’re always right in times like this, concerning our duties. Without you, I’d probably be a criminal.” 

“No August, you’d be a dictator.” 

August laughed, then I started to laugh. 

“Come on Jacob. Let’s go smoke a bit before our next job comes up. You know how busy we are these days.” 

“True that.”

Author's Note

My apologies on the lack of spacing between lines but it didn't copy over well from Word.